So I applied to Duke as a Regular Decision applicant, and today when I tried to log into my portal for an admission decision, an error message showed up. Long story short, I found out that Duke never received my SAT scores, so they canceled my application.
In February, I asked my admissions counselor to send the scores for me because my parents claimed that they couldn’t afford to send them. Today I found out that after I asked my counselor, my mom emailed my counselor and told her that she already sent the scores so my counselor didn’t need to. My parents also got access to my email and have been deleting most of the emails that I’ve been getting from colleges if I didn’t get to them first. I found a final notice letter from Duke addressed to me in my parents’ room today. The letter came in February, but I’m just seeing it today.
Does anyone know if Duke has an appeals process? Or if they would even accept an appeal from an applicant who didn’t complete their application?
It probably couldn’t hurt to ask them about it though I would expect their answer to be no.
Do you know why your parents were so against Duke? Did this happen for other schools as well? Have you confronted them about it?
It sort of sounds like borderline criminal behavior by your parents, if you’re an adult. To be deleting your emails from colleges and sabotaging your application is very wrong and strange. They could have just told you they wouldn’t pay if you got accepted and accomplish the same result. I’m guessing this is only the tip of the iceberg.
@Lagging I don’t even know, it could be so many things :\ I was sick recently so maybe they don’t want me to go far away for college, or they don’t want to pay for Duke or anything, I don’t know… They did this with most of the colleges that I applied to, but luckily I was able to send some scores to schools by myself. I confronted my mom about it but she just kind of brushed me off as dramatic…
@CorpusChristi I’m still 17, so I can’t do anything… I don’t even know what to do about all of this. I’ve spent so much time on applications this past year and I feel like it’s all going to go to waste
I assume your parents told you not to apply, and don’t intend to pay anything toward Duke.
@intparent My parents told me not to apply anywhere, and that I shouldn’t go to college at all. My family doesn’t make very much money so I would probably qualify for full aid if I could get in. They’re very old-fashioned and have the opinion that women shouldn’t go to college and should be homemakers. I decided to apply to schools anyway because I have bigger career prospects than that.
Wow. I guess you need to change all your passwords to keep them out of your email. Where do your parents want you to attend college? As a parent I can’t believe someone would be so deceptive with their child. They might have good reasons they don’t want you at Duke but I don’t understand why they can’t be open and honest. With a school as expensive as Duke I would imagine you need some support from them to attend. What schools have you been accepted to? I hope you can get away from that situation at home. Good luck.
If they won’t fill out the FA paperwork, you won’t get need based aid.
@OspreyCV22 I’m not exactly sure why my parents did that, I’m just guessing based on how they treated my older sister. I’ve been accepted to many great schools and out of those MIT is my first choice. However, I think that Duke would be a better fit for me than MIT, so I was really anxious about finding out whether I got in or not today. As you can imagine, these last couple of hours have kind of sucked
I may have been a bit over the top by using the word “criminal” but its certainly not a healthy way for parents to address things with a college bound student. Since they’ve told you you shouldn’t go to college, it’s obvious they have deeper problems. Hope things work out for you. It will eventually if you keep trying.
@intparent My uncle is an accountant who does my family’s taxes, so he helped me fill out all of the financial aid materials. I turned in the FAFSA, CSS, and IDOC forms. The only thing I was missing from my application were SAT scores. My parents either didn’t care or didn’t fully understand what was going when I was filling out the financial aid materials because they didn’t seem upset while I was doing them.
Congrats on MIT! It’s a great school. If you end up attending and not liking it you could be a competitive applicant to transfer to Duke. Generally the sentiment is that it certainly helps coming from a top tier school. Your parents are welcome to their own gender stereotypes, but they have no right to force that on you and limit your potential because of it. As long as you don’t need their support financially then their say in your college choices is negligible.
@CorpusChristi If OP were 18 then I believe it would be a criminal offense for them to tamper with her mail.
Did you get enough merit anywhere to not need financial help from your parents because if you did I would forget Duke and run like hell! :-h Seriously though, can your uncle help with your parents? If you got into MIT I’m guessing you have other good options.
Don’t your parents have to have an id and sign the FAFSA? It would be illegal for someone else (including your uncle) to sign for them, I think.
@Lagging I think you’re right. Although I certainly wouldn’t advise bringing criminal charges into family relationships without some type of physical harm having occurred in the family.
@Lagging Thank you, I really really didn’t expect to get in. I feel very humbled, but MIT is a really intimidating school
@jnkam24 I matched with MIT for Questbridge, so thankfully they offered me a full scholarship. But I really fell in love with Duke so it’s hard to just completely forget about it. If this were almost any other school I would probably just let it go. I’ve tried to get several family members to help me with my parents but they’re very set in their ways
@intparent My parents were actually there with my uncle and me when I was filling out all of the financial aid stuff! I think that maybe because my uncle was there they didn’t want to outright reject me and cause a scene, but no matter what their motive for helping was, they were very cooperative that day. Because of that day, I assumed that they’d changed their minds about letting me go to college even though they never told me that they did, which was probably a mistake on my part
@CorpusChristi I completely agree that bringing charges (even if OP were 18) probably wouldn’t accomplish anything productive. I just think it’s worth pointing out (and agreeing with your initial point) that technically there’s potential for their actions to be criminal. It’s definitely not as harmless as they think.
@FiveFactorial Don’t be intimidated and don’t let the prestigious name scare you. They don’t make mistakes and if you got in you deserve to be in and are fully capable of succeeding. And MIT knows it.
Leverage your uncle as much as you can now… can you tell him about your acceptances? Would it be possible to have a discussion about where you were accepted and where you plan to go with him present when you tell your parents? Do you have enough money for your plane ticket, first semester books, etc. for when you first get there, in case your parents are really trying to stop you from going? Also… be tuned into the health insurance situation – if your family health insurance doesn’t have good coverage at the college locations, a lot of colleges will make you buy theirs. It is an extra $1500-$2000 per year, which is a struggle for low income students. You might want to get on top of this. And if you have insurance that gives coverage at school, your parents may have to help you get the needed info to provide to your college.
Well then contact Duke and see what they say and if they can’t help you, start loving MIT. Thankfully you have a full scholarship to a great school!