You have a lot of complaints about your roommate, but what have you actually done to address them? Have you actually tried talking to your roommate about any of this, or are you just silently fuming and wondering why she isn’t doing more around the apartment?
Most of these issues can be addressed by having a conversation with her and coming up with a schedule of chores. There’s a good chance that she won’t spontaneously start doing more around the apartment. She probably won’t start immediately doing chores with a schedule either, but you have to try something. At least, with a schedule, it’s not something vague that you both agreed to months ago–it’s something you can point to regularly when you remind her to do her chores. If she does not do them, do not do them for her. Keep reminding her to do them until she does it. She’ll keep letting you do all the chores, if you keep enabling her.
If you and her still can’t get along (even after you’ve tried everything), then you always have the option to move out.
Have you talked to her about the dishes since you she moved in? Just say that you feel like you’re doing all of the dishes, and you think you should both do your own dishes. Or if either of you don’t want to do that, then maybe you could come up with a schedule: one week you do the dishes and the next week she does the dishes. She’s not doing the dishes because she knows you’ll do them. And it sounds like you haven’t done anything to make her think otherwise.
Come up with a chore schedule (which can include things like doing the dishes, cleaning the floors and countertops, etc), and alternate who cleans what. Put up a schedule on the wall somewhere visible (after having a discussion with her about what you guys should do for the schedule, of course), and if she isn’t doing what she previously agreed to do (when you came up with the schedule together), then keep reminding her about it until she does.
Yes, this is childish of you. Get over it. You can’t control who she hangs out with, and you also can’t control who your friends hang out with. If they both like each other, then you don’t get to say that they can’t hang out with each other because they were your friends first.
Why on Earth were you cleaning the house for her family’s visit? Did she ask you to? Or did you just feel like the apartment should be cleaned? If she asked you to, then just say no. If you feel like the apartment should be cleaned, let her clean it. If she doesn’t care, it’s her family, not yours. Why should you care? I don’t understand why you were even doing this, and I don’t really think you have a right to complain about it, unless she asked you to do it. And if she asked you to do it, then you could have just said no, you don’t have time.
Again, have you talked to her about this? This is another thing that can be addressed when you both talk and come up with a schedule for chores around the apartment.
Put the cat up for adoption. Right now. Find another home for this cat. Neither of you are ready to have a cat, and you really never should have gotten one. Find someone else who can take care of this cat BEFORE you both leave for Christmas.
You can always say no, if it’s something you don’t want to do or if it’s too much of a burden on you. It’s nice of you to do things for her, but you don’t have to. Just say no.
Easy, say no. She can’t bring her dog here. It violates your apartment lease. If she wants to bring her dog, she can move out. End of story.
None of your business, as long as she pays rent on time.