<p>My son is a freshman attending school out of state in NC, 7 hours away from home in NJ. He is struggling academically and it hasn't been easy for him to acclimate to the environment. He's admitted he misses his family and friends more than he thought he would, and I think being away has a lot to do with the bad place he's at now. A very rough adjustment, rougher than we expected. We had visited the school 3 times during his college search and did a lot of research before he decided, and felt comfortable with his choice, but now that he is there, it's just not working out. We've had several conversations with him and his unhappiness is not something that is temporary, so he's decided (with our support) to finish the first semester and not go back. It's not easy to have had these discussions, but he's been honest and not held anything back. We are entirely comfortable, and feel it's better to change his environment than to try to stick it out. </p>
<p>The question I have is about next steps and what we need to consider in deciding next steps. There are schools in NJ that offer his major (computer science) where he was accepted before so he would have to reapply, but he has options. If he moved to one of those schools, he would be closer to friends, family and have a better social support system. We are nearing the transfer application deadline and are uncertain about the credits he will be able to transfer because he would have to apply before he has his final grades. </p>
<p>Because he's been stressed out, I am interested in opinions as we try to develop a new strategy for going forward. Should he try to get his application in by the transfer deadlines so he could be at a new school for the second semester? Should we not stress about getting him in place for January, let him regroup and decompress, and file applications early in the new year with an aim to go back next fall? He'd have the option to take classes at a local community college to make up for any credits that won't transfer from NC. I'm interested in what people think are important factors we need to take into consideration and the pro's/con's of transferring immediately versus regrouping and aiming for the fall.</p>
<p>I am aware of some students who knew very early first semester that they’d chosen the wrong place and were able to seamlessly transfer for second semester to a school where they’d been previously accepted. I’d have him get on the phone <em>tomorrow</em> and see if that acceptance (or acceptances) still stand and how to orchestrate a transfer.</p>
<p>My approach would be for him to take his time. He should focus on his grades this semester. Putting together an application might be a lot on top of that. Also thinking from a social prospective it might be better to start with all the new students next Fall.</p>
<p>Some schools will not take transfers this early, and some don’t have spring entrants, so first check and see what schools are even a possibility that way. My friend’s daughter transfered after her first year, to USC in CA, and was accepted to several such schools, but the acceptances did not come until June or July. Some schools only offered a second semester seating. </p>
<p>So read up on the transfer requirements and timing for all of the possibilities. Find out what the transfer accept rates are. Be aware that his grades this first semester are likely to be the most important factor now as to whether or not he gets accepted–a lot of the high school things are not as important. </p>
<p>Also, since he has one school that didn’t work out, should he not take a little time in vetting out his choices instead of focusing on the one school where the timing could work out? If he’s pretty sure that’s where he wants to go, I guess it’s fine to give it a go. </p>
<p>Hopefully, he’s happier where ever he ends up next. I’ve known it to go either way, but I remember one young man, now a doctor, who just came home for the holidays and refused to back to school. Took courses at a local school and worked the next term, and transferred elsewhere, and it was a happily ever after tale. So it can work out. My friend’s DD loves USC and has no regrets transferring. Another success story that follows the same steps that your son is taking. So it’s not unusual.</p>
<p>If the problem was related to living away from home, a year (or two) at a local community college could have several advantages. He could grow a stellar GPA, and be a very strong transfer candidate to the 4 year uni of his choice. You could save some money. He could get a little tired of being home, and with friends gone, realize it’s time to move on too. He could gain maturity and confidence before trying another school. </p>
<p>If you can put up with him living at home, the local CC has a lot to offer in a situation like this.</p>
<p>That is exactly what my son did and it worked out beautifully for him. But it all depends on your son, what he is feeling, the reasons he is not happy where he is now, how much he likes the NJ schools where he was accepted. If he is interested in those schools, he needs to contact them now for information about transferring, their timeline, and what they require. Two of my son’s courses did not transfer, so he started a little behind, but was able to make up ground taking courses during the summer at a local college. My son was CS as well.</p>
<p>I would wait. There are many ways to take classes in the interim, as a non-matriculated student or at community college. Too many adjustments in that period of time can be really taxing on the psyche I think. </p>
<p>I hate to say it, because emotionally I always side with a kid coming home, but I have seen again and again that around this time freshman year, many students are plotting to leave. Second semester can be very different. And counseling on campus can help.</p>
<p>However, in this case, with the 7 hour distance, a support network at home, and a clearly insightful parent, it really does sound like a good solution. One of mine came home and her situation improved dramatically. </p>
<p>I agree with kitty and cnp. If he’s certain where he wants to go, he should call now. There is “bleed” at the holidays with kids that don’t return. Sometimes the college can seamlessly integrate previously accepted kids into the system at that break without having to reapply, etc. etc. At the very minimum, if he wants a break until next fall, he can get the ball rolling with the phone call(s).</p>
<p>This actually sounds like the sort of situation where hiring a private college counselor could really help. Look for one in your hometown who really knows the schools in your state – she may know which schools are best for transfers, how he should phrase the decision to transfer on his essays, etc. She would probably also know about issues like timing of the transfer, what to do if you end up with a gap where you’re not enrolled, how financial aid would work, etc.</p>
<p>If money/scholarships are going to be an issue, I would e-mail/call the school regarding scholarship consideration. Many scholarships are reserved for incoming freshmen in the fall semester. </p>
<p>You may have to consider if you want to bite the bullet to see if he can withdraw without penalty so when he is applying to a new set of, he will apply as a freshman vs. a transfer student. At some schools, he may be given consideration as a freshman if he has accumulated less than 12 credits while at other schools he will be a transfer even if he has taken one credit since graduating high school (check the policies).</p>
<p>If you are going to let him get a “do over” I would also recommend having him do something constructive or get a job so this can be used as a gap year.</p>
<p>Also I think there should be less “We” and more “He”…let him take the lead. If he truly thinks this is the thing to do, he should be taking charge. I would think that coming home and taking classes at the CC might be the lower stress thing to do…let him take a semester and then figure out what he really wants.</p>
<p>If he does go to a CC, I wouldn’t have him withdraw from his current school. After all, a lot can change after a semester back home including a newfound appreciation for the things he didn’t like about his previous institution. Take a leave of absence and later have him withdraw if he becomes resolute in his plans. </p>
<p>I will say that a girl from NJ at my previous college withdrew after a semester and immediately enrolled at the flagship Rutgers campus. I think NJ schools may be fairly lenient about taking transfers.</p>
<p>If a student is transferring from one college to another, I’d recommend they try to find an appropriate college that has large numbers of other transfers. It will be easier to make friends if other people are in the same situation. Otherwise, at a college where there are few transfers, many people will have already divided into social groups from their freshman year, and it may be harder to break into those groups.</p>
<p>Our son did ED, but had a prior rolling admit acceptance from another 2nd-tier Midwest LAC too. When he declined admit at 2nd school, they advised him in writing that he could still transfer in 2nd semester, so long as he had a minimum C average from his 1st school. I’m aware of several other local students who received similar letters from other 2nd-tier Midwest schools. I suspect that there are many similar schools with generous transfer policies. Never hurts to ask, and to ask now.</p>
<p>Our son’s small LAC had approx 50 transfer students enrolled this Fall, and offered special orientation activities to acquaint them with campus and each other.</p>
<p>Yes we’re in the midwest and two of my three got similar letters from non-flagship publics in the spring. My neighbor’s D took one of those offers. She went to CO for college and was miserable, came back and jumped into the new college after the holidays, graduated and barely skipped a beat other than a semester in Colorado. No applications, no nothing, just a phone call in the fall. A private college sent my S3 a letter like this just this past spring basically saying call us if you are unhappy, want to change your mind etc. etc.</p>
<p>Yes, my daughter also recently received letters from two non-flagship public universities where she had been accepted a year ago saying you are welcome to enroll anytime. (She is attending a private college that offered her merit aid that made it as cheap as the publics). </p>
<p>Many public universities are seeing declining enrollments in the northeast, which is partly because of increased tuition rates and partly because of declining numbers of high school graduates.</p>