<p>Actually this happened about three years ago. Here's the whole story. My son is a senior and the whole college admission thing is working out fine. He has three great choices and all that. But he did this without participating in any sports for the last three years. And that disturbs me.</p>
<p>I should mention that the only sport he has ever shown any ability at is long distance running. With minimal training he did very well at it for a brief period in middle school and his first semester in high school. But he quit because it was taking up too much time and bringing his grades down, which is true.</p>
<p>I'm sure that he's not going to be a walk on miracle at any of the schools he's considering - they are all Division I - that's not what this is about. But there are intramurals and club sports at all the schools he's considering. And I'm trying to get a sense if there's anything I could say at this age. </p>
<p>Has anyone ever had any influence at this stage at getting their child to become more active? And if so, how did you do it?</p>
<p>I have one son who’s an athlete and one who’s not. The one who’s not started working out pretty consistently after his physician mentioned how important it is to exercise. I’ve casually mentioned the benefits of exercise as a way to reduce stress, and I think that’s sunk in, but nagging him to be active would not have produced any positive results, so I didn’t go there. It’s good to have a release in college. This can be achieved by individual exercise (jogging, working out at gym, etc) and doesn’t have to be through organized sports (intramurals, club teams).</p>
<p>2 times with D1 in college we encouraged sports. in mid school and hi school for all but last year she was in track- she was ok- then when college came around she got the idea that the way to make friends was a sport (after a college visit person told her that)- so she signed up division III (they took anyone) and went into cross country- very different for her. did it until her senior year. she joined the ultimate frisbee club and loved it. so, now she is running marathons and did with her classmates in college too, when i could not talk her into 2 laps at once in high school. so,we did not nag but threw the suggestion up when she said she was needing a group of friends. also we are active hikers/skiers. a son maybe another story.</p>
<p>My son also decided to quit XC for other activities and it was fine. XC was simply taking too much time and required him to be solely committed to that, instead of any other EC. While he really enjoyed running, it wasn’t a hard decision. He preferred so many other activities: theatre, newspaper, and an environment club which kept him busy and gave him opportunities for leadership. I worried that it didn’t “look good” to give up in his senior year, and who knows if that made a difference.</p>
<p>In the end, it just how it worked out and my son never looked back. With his senior year winding down and his commitments to those clubs getting passed onto the next year’s senior class, he now has time to get to workout at his HS gym.</p>
<p>I’m kinda glad I didn’t get involved. It was definitely the right decision.</p>
<p>I don’t get why it bothers you or even how it affects you. It’s your son’s life. We weren’t happy when one of our kids stopped band but realized it made sense for him. They all find their own path, don’t they? :)</p>
<p>Good Luck
S2 was a starter on the football team all four years of h.s. He’s now a college soph., a natural athlete who’s naturally lazy. Walking to class fr. his off campus house is the most consistent exercise he does, unless you count occsasional pick-up games of basketball, football, softball with the guys at sch.<br>
His sch. has a wonderful student rec. center that he’s not interested in.
He’s taking PE next sem. to fulfill the req. Guess what he’s taking???
Fitness Walking :eek:</p>
<p>D loves to run, but did XC for four years despite really disliking the actual races. She’s a runner, not a racer. I don’t think it has hindered her. If anything, in college she’s found plenty of others who like to run but who have no interest in racing.</p>
<p>We have encouraged our kid to play at least one sport in middle school and high school, and to play it offseason (but a more casual team, not an intense traveling team, is fine). Both settled in on a sport and have done this. The primary reason for this is health and conditioning. I don’t care if they make varsity or are captains, that is up to them. Their middle/high school also has daily gym for every grade except 11th (although high school is block scheduled, so really only for one semester a year). That said, if one of my kids really hadn’t found a sport that made them happy, I would have let them drop. But I might have encouraged s sport outside school (fencing, biking, trail running, etc.).</p>
<p>D1 went to a college that has some phys ed requirements; she has played badminton and taken a fitness class… the more popular classes, like hiking, are hard to get into before junior/senior year. But she admits that she does not work out as often as she should.</p>
<p>By the time a kid goes to college, in my opinion their fitness is their own business. I have done my job of making sure they are educated (from me and their school) on the benefits of exercise and fitness. I try to model the behavior, and I regularly invite them to join me for hikes, bike rides, and skiing. Sometimes they come along, sometimes not.</p>
<p>“He has three great choices and all that. But he did this without participating in any sports for the last three years. And that disturbs me.”
Good grief. Why???
OP, some students like structured athletic programs and some don’t. How about sincerely congratulating him on his acceptances instead of implying your continued disappointment in a decision made by him 3 years ago! He is going to do what HE wants to do or what his friends or peers at college encourage him to do. Kids can get fit and stay fit in college on their own. He is leaving the nest and what you say will have little effect on him, especially if you try to push your opinion about the importance of participation in structured athletic programs on him.</p>
<p>I echo this sentiment. Why would you care? Or is this another CC thread pretending to complain about something but really bragging about something instead. There seem to be a lot of those.</p>
<p>My son was on a varsity team and lettered at his high school his freshman and sophomore years. But the practices and competition schedule were too demanding given his heavy schedule of APs junior year, combined with a 15-hour-a-week job that he loves. Now he is almost completely inactive physically, though still very busy with school and job. He knows I don’t like it (I invite him to come with me to the gym when I work out). But I realize he can’t do everything, and I don’t hassle him too much; he is nearly an adult, and anyway my nagging him would only backfire. I figure we’ve tried to set a good example for our kids, and wouldn’t be surprised, if he goes back to the gym eventually. In my husband’s case, suddenly finding himself prone to gain weight in his late 20s was a big wake-up call.</p>
<p>I was the same way with church: my parents took me every Sunday when I was a kid; I stopped going the moment as I left home, much to their dismay; but what do you know, 15 years later I was back in the pew.</p>
<p>My son went from doing everything in high school to do nothing in college. The only reason I can’t complain is that his GPA is .50 higher than in high school. He was never a runner, but did end up meeting a nice girl from the cross country team. She has him running with her and even gets him to church on occasion.</p>
<p>Intramurals at college are very social. He may chose to play them because the kids on his hall are playing. That will keep him active.</p>
<p>I am assuming you just want him to keep moving and be active for health (and maybe social) reasons. I can’t see any other reason for you to still be upset that he left a team 3 years ago.</p>
<p>I can’t understand those who leap to chastise bird rock for being concerned that her son isn’t physically active. It’s a matter of health, people! She’s not concerned about her kid racking up an EC, she’s concerned about his living a long and healthy life.</p>
<p>Speaking as a pre-Title IX female who never participated in sports beyond gym class and didn’t develop the habit of exercise as a teen, doing so later has been an ongoing struggle.</p>
<p>I am concerned about MY son, who was a 3-season track/XC athlete in HS and is doing nothing at all athletic now. I would be perfectly happy if he just went for runs a few times per week, or hiked, or canoed, or anything. Just recently he remarked to me that he really missed track. I am hoping he finds something soon.</p>
<p>Oh! I didn’t consider that was the concern Consolation! My kids were more active at college then they were in HS. Walking, running or biking across campus was/is a daily necessity and their PE requirements were/are more strenuous then HS gym. My son took jogging last semester and ran a 5k for extra credit.</p>
<p>You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink…
Same goes for trying to “encourage” someone else’s behavior, especially if that someone will soon no longer be living under your roof.
Some people need to learn from their own mistakes. Pointing out behavior that you feel to be a mistake often backfires, especially with a mother trying to influence her soon to be college-bound son. Been there, tried that, doesn’t work…</p>
<p>I’m not that concerned about doing something officially athletic, but I do think it’s good for a kid to get some sort of exercise. In college I occasionally jogged with friends, or played squash, I took a skating class once and did a modern dance class another term, but I never really did enough. I think intramural activities or just making use of the gyms that most colleges have can be fine though.</p>
<p>At USC, my unathleticly-oriented son goes on day long backpacking trips in the mountains surrounding LA, ice skates, bikes to and from campus, works out at the gym, etc, etc… he is more fit now than he ever was in HS. And he does these things cause HE wants to, not because I suggest them.
nuff said…</p>
<p>If it’s about his health, you don’t have to play sports to get exercise / be healthy.
My D plays tennis (varsity); my S has not been on any sports teams at all but he works out regularly and goes for long bike rides. As long as they are both healthy, I don’t think that playing a sport per se is necessary.</p>
<p>I also echo Consolation’s point, and believe that as a forty-something woman, much of the problem with the gym classes of our youth was that they focused on <em>sports</em> as opposed to <em>fitness.</em> Which leaves the less-coordinated out in the dust.</p>
<p>I’m pleased that my kids’ gym classes focus less on organized sports and more on healthy habits that don’t rely on sports skills, equipment or needing teams. I read somewhere that only 4% of adults in the US get their exercise from being on organized sports teams - yet that’s all the gym classes of my youth taught. I think the kids are better off learning how to use gym equipment, walk / run, stretch, swim and bike – things that they can do to keep healthy on their own – than teach them team sports that aren’t going to fit into busy professional lifestyles.</p>