My son wants to transfer out of state, but it is not financially smart for us. I really need advice!

…other schools are not affordable, you have been given good advice about moving into a substance-free dorm, quit fraternity, do whatever makes a better environment for you.

And if it’s too much pressure, maybe you can take less credits?

The usual “grass is always greener on the other side” may work or not. The social situations are more internal than external. There are different type of students on the same campus and it is up to a student to get surrounded by people that he personally feels comfortable to be with. There is no guarantee at all that the person would feel “at home” all of sudden at another place. He may as well end up with the crowd that is simply not a match for him.

I don’t know if you are the parent or the student pretending to be the parent, so if parent do not post until you make your own account and identify yourself.

The student needs to realize that ‘starting over’ comes from inside, not what school you are at. As you get more into your department you will find the students who are more serious and emulate the successful ones. But business students tend to be the partiers, it just doesn’t attract the intellectual student so much and the classes are not as hard as many other majors. A girl at ND this year also noted what big partiers the business students are and how easy they have it.

Not figuring out your mistakes and fixing them in sophomore year is a sign of immaturity and I would be pretty upset if my kid just wanted to stick me with a big bill because they weren’t ready to correct himself, it has to be running away at my expense.

And the stealth applying elsewhere wouldn’t sit well either. Unless the parent is really not listening and the kid had no choice I think getting buying in ahead and help planning to make the cost work would have been a better choice than a fait accompli. Again that is huge immaturity and manipulation. I think you are being played, Mom. I’m with the suggestion that a year off to mature is the best choice and it also puts a distance between the particular people in social scene he seems unable to cope with.

tell S he can go to any school that he can pay for. No Limits! No Restrictions!

But if he wants someone else to pay, then he must accept whatever he can get. Always easy to spend * someone else’s* money!