<p>OP, it is certainly fine to focus on the long term, but first semester senior year is a time when certain things must be accomplished NOW in order for the kid to have a choice in the spring. She needs to sign up for any standardized tests that she still needs immediately, if she hasn’t already. She needs to ask two teachers and perhaps one or two others who know her in a non-school context–coaches, employers, music teachers, et al–for recommendations within the next few weeks. (You have to give them time.) She needs to put together a list of schools to which to apply in the next couple of months, and the list has to contain at least one safety that is also a financial safety that she would be willing to attend. She’s going to have to follow her HS’s procedures for having transcripts and recommendations sent out. She needs to write a personal statement for the Common App, and ideally another essay that can be used as a “why school x” or secondary essay for most places with a little tweaking.</p>
<p>She doesn’t have to do all of this alone. You can help her, organize stuff for her, and give her a little push as necessary. Believe me, the people who leave it ALL to their kids are few and far between. Many of our kids would probably still be home on the couch–or at least would have had very poor options come spring of senior year-- if left completely to their own devices. </p>
<p>I would emphasize to your D that the purpose of all this is to have CHOICES in the spring and to maximize her options in her life going forward, not to lock herself into a path she feels uneasy about. Applying to a school does not mean one must attend. NOT applying means that one definitely will not have the choice.</p>
<p>^ I agree with Consolation. You do need to push a bit and know that the first semester of senior year is stressful for many parents and kids (though I think it’s worse for the parents sometimes). What I found helpful (and CC is a valuable source of information) was for me to understand the process pretty well so I could advise my son. He didn’t always listen to my advice but the process can be overwhelming sometimes with your first child so the more you know the better you will feel. Talk to her college counselor if you haven’t already. Get on the websites of prospective colleges and write down deadlines, application requirements, etc. I had to force my son to visit some schools but I think he was glad I did. Also - we told him he needed x number of safeties and in-state applications and I got one ‘Mom’s Choice’. He applied and got a great scholarship but ultimately chose another school, which was fine. Son waited until the last minute on many of his applications (to my annoyance) but it all worked out in the end.</p>
<p>I should add that I practically had to DRAG my son out of the house to take him to the Dartmouth adcom presentation in our region. Although he had said he was interested, when it came down to it that night he didn’t want to bother to go out after practice and so forth. I really had to put my foot down, and he was highly resentful, as only my very willfull son can be. </p>
<p>This September he’ll start his senior year at Dartmouth. :)</p>
<p>Here is what I might do if I had this situation:
Say to your daughter: “Let’s sit at the computer for a few minutes. OK, let’s just see what it takes to apply to UMass” (assuming her stats make UMass a reasonable choice). It is the Common Application, so you can go through the Common App with her. Ask her what she thinks a good topic might be for the essays. It is probably good to do the activity essay first because it is more straightforward. If she doesn’t know a topic for the personal statement, ask her to jot down three ideas in a notebook by the next day, and come back to it. Then, ask her to start an essay. She may have to write a couple of paragraphs a day. You will also see that she needs teacher recommendations. Because she is not 18, you will probably need to authorize release of information, so right then, you can write a letter authorizing release of information to UMass and mail it to her counselor.
This student needs it broken down into small steps because it is too overwhelming for her - that is why she is stuck in addition to other reasons that other posters have suggested. You may just have to sit with her while she fills in the application.</p>
<p>A friend’s son had no interest in applying to Brown but she talked him into it and he submitted his application on the last day (sight unseen). He had tons of great acceptances but guess where he graduated last May? Brown. You just never know.</p>
<p>I second the idea of having her do an overnight at a college – maybe with her college-freshmen friend if that one is on her list. Or some college admissions offices can arrange a visit.<br>
Also you might think about giving her the straight scoop on what you and her father can contribute to her college costs via cash or loans (once you have an idea of likely financial aid). I did this with my college-junior son before college, but did not realize until this summer that he thought he had to pay for grad school all his own, when actually we are willing to cover that as well.
Besides talking while on a walk, I like to spout off on long car trips when they can’t escape and I don’t see every eye roll. :)</p>
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