Your change in self perception can show them an emerging maturity, self awareness, and becoming more energized (and confident) to tackle more. They like kids who “go for it” and you have an interesting perspective. But now you need to try to rewrite it.
Not just saying you are more confident, but showing it.
Please don’t let any traces of insecurity get to you now. You had a turnaround and it came from giving to others. Good topic.
Write it comfortably and positively, just as if you were writing to us about it or to a trusted adult or family member. A comfortable and positive recollection. Now, it’s time to try it.
So maybe focusing on your project isn’t the best approach, whatever it is (hard to say without knowing). My kids had many aspects they could have written about; most HS students do. If you’ve listed this as your #1 EC, you might not have to do your essay on it. (And if the description part of activities is too short, and you are using the essay to flesh out your responsibilities or awards or something related to it, there are ways around that without using your essay — a few concise bullets in Additional Info can free you up from needing to use the essay that way).
@equationlover : Your #15 post is very interesting. [Sorry. Haven’t had time to get back here until just now.] Maybe an acknowledgement that your inside persona/feeling of vulnerability is not what comes across could be an interesting twist.
@equationlover - Writing about your coping with a disability can either be cliché or inspiring, depending on what you’ve accomplished and how resilient you have shown yourself to be. My D became disabled in HS and had to find new outlets for her passions and creativity. She wrote about those.
I’d be happy to look at your essay and give you my opinion and/or offer some suggestions if you want to PM me.
@intparent I am aware of that. I was planning on putting my abstract for it in the additional information section, and linking another project that was posted online, in addition to a news article written about me. Would that be too much information?
In my additional information section, I also have to write about another thing that happened my junior year: re, academically. I had my GC talk about it in her LOR, she said she made a quick note about it. I’m not sure she went into much detail on it though.
@AboutTheSame That is true, you are right. But that comes across as the stereotypical “there’s something wrong with me, and now I see it differently” part that makes me wonder if adcoms will just not like that I was inconfident in myself.
The “I was inconfident but didn’t show it” part still seems… I don’t know. It’s interesting. But I’m not sure that will come off in a good light. In the way that it didn’t let me down? Ugg, this is so hard!
I am rewriting my essay to not center on my disability, but instead show that I have drive and and willing to take up a challenge. My disability will be mentioned, but it will not be the center point of my essay. The point of an essay is to show what I’m like: yes, I was inconfident, but that’s not what showed on the outside. I was driven and I worked hard to get there. Is that a better focal point?
@LoveTheBard It’s ironic you mention resilience, as that is one character trait my English teacher said I have a lot of. I can send you a PM with my essay; it’s just I’m a bit hesitant with all of the people here that seem to be sending essays to other students. That’s why I said what I said before with not wanting to PM my essay.
@chercheur I know. I checked post history. 
Well, “I didn’t have confidence and now I do” is far too simple and doesn’t “show” how you’ve changed. And while adcoms don’t want a long tale of how you weren’t so confident, you can phrase it in the positive. You had friends, joined clubs, but wanted to do more.
Resilience, openness, willingness to try, did some real good with your project, increased self awareness. Where you “are” now, more than what was wrong before. Think about it.
Okay, so I have changed my essay up a bit. It now highlights a lot more of the design process than anything, but it feels a lot less personal than my other essay. ): I think I might be going in the wrong direction?
What’s the design process? Are you describing it in too much detail? Will adcoms see the traits they want?
Adding: what traits come through?
@lookingforward I believe I am describing it in too much detail. (Design process= like the scientific method, but for engineering.) I’m thinking at this point that I need to choose a different essay topic. This one I thought would be able to showcase my leadership, curiosity, and ingenuity, without saying anything about it. Looking at this project from a different perspective and it’s impact on me is hard. Accepting my disability was a huge part of it, but I don’t want to be known for the disability as one poster put it.
I was trying to go at it from a different angle to especially showcase my curiosity and want to understand things and how this lead me to doing the project; but it is hard. I believe I am going into too much detail about the process for making the project itself.
At this point I am considering a different essay topic, but I’m having an extremely hard time with choosing another memorable moment. This project was extremely impact on me but doesn’t seem to be yielding any other results.
Update: I made a revised one, and based off what family members have said, they think that my first essay is better. ): So I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m extremely conflicted and I don’t know what to do.
It can be very very difficult when you are so close and emotionally invested, to step back from the detail and look at the bigger picture. Sometimes that can help and sometimes, to pehraps your familiys viewpoint, it can hurt. The comment that it may have portyayed you in a negative light I found insightful. My son’s first essay, also disability related, had elements of that.
For him, I believe he needed to write it. He needed to get it out. That’s important and catharic. But. In his case, it really didn’t reflect as well on him as would be preferred and was cliche. He recieved some similar feedback from his English teacher. He changed his topic.
And while I am not advocating that (a new topic), in doing so, he was able to show something he’d learned about himself, something he will take to college and apply in life and something that a college would want in their class mix. They were all things that he’d taken from the first essay as well, but the 2nd example of that experience, rang more true and less cliche. The first one was simply too close, too deep and too emotional for him not to let some of that negative experience spill over. The second topic showed a very different evolution and showing growth, well, that’s a good thing.
At the end of the day, you need to be true to you, what you want to say, what you want your schools to know about you. But think of it from the adcom side. Why do I want this student in my class? What do they add? What will they contribute?
Bottom line is, what do you think?
@eandesmom You’re right. My first essay I just had to “get out” I suppose. It definitely looked my at my negative thoughts about myself and how I showed growth after this project I did. But it was too close, too emotional, and something I shouldn’t have written about. I was not able to detach myself from those strong emotions and look at my essay with clear eyes, wondering how it would come across.
My family seems to think this essay would come across well, but in the end, it will not.
So enter in my second essay: doesn’t focus on my disability at all. It still talks of the project, but instead shows a different side of me. That’s what I want to show.
I disagree. You needed to write about it. You just don’t need to use it as your essay. That’s part of the process. And getting it out and seeing what it looks like, having objective feedback is a good thing. Having done that, you can hopefully move on. It is hard for families to be objective and what they think is compelling may not be at all. Or perhaps more accurately it may not be that it won’t come across well. It may. It just may not come across nearly as well as you are capable of and show the colleges what your teacher sees, or more.
@equationlover - As I said – and illustrated – in my last (unacknowledged) pm to you, I think that you would be best off creating a hybrid incorporating the strongest parts of the two essays.
Your topics are not unrelated – the first focused primarily on your disability, the second focused on your project to create an assistive device to help people with your same disability navigate.
You want the essay to be about YOU (not about your project and not solely about your disability).
@LoveTheBard Ahh sorry, I didn’t see the PM. I’ve been busy uploading Common App stuff. I encorperated aspects from both essays.