My very first SAT Essay =O

<p>Here it is. Please score..?</p>

<pre><code>As we live through our lives, we tend to perceive the world around us as it seems to be through our tiny scope of vision. However, many things in our world hide undesirable qualities under layers of invisible masks; old items are transformed into latest must haves, and criminals turn themselves into innocent, peace-loving victims. Though it is easy to conclude our judgment of things based on their looks, it is an undeniable truth that not everything is homogeneous both inside and out. This notion is well-exemplified in my personal experience, in history, and in literature.
The idea that not all things display the actuality of their qualities is illustrated in my personal story. When I first moved to Toronto, Canada from Korea, my teacher introduced me to an older student in attempt to make me more comfortable in a new learning environment. Though he seemed like a kind and good-natured person from his looks, he began to take advantage of the fact that I could not speak perfect English. Appalled, I later realized that judging only by someone’s looks is not the best way to learn about someone.
Also, instances in history illustrate the notion that many things don’t always turn out to be the same as it actually is. After the World War II, the defeated Germany was in deep despair and many Germans were hopeless about their future. In middle of this chaos, a young man by the name of Adolf Hitler came up with the idea of rebuilding the nation and supporting the industry to renew the country’s economy. Excited, citizens in Germany willingly supported his idea without realizing Hitler’s deep true goals as a ferocious dictator.
Not only the notion is illustrated in history, but also it is shown in literary works of famous writers as well. In Hermann Hesse’s acclaimed novel Siddhartha, Siddhartha sets off on a journey to find “the truth.” After going through strenuous journeys and encountering all kinds of people, Siddhartha finally realizes that “the truth” is nothing like what it seemed to be; “the truth” could not be found when he searched because it was already there inside of him.
As clearly demonstrated in my personal experience, in history, and in literature, it often seems that many things hide their true faces under secretive blockades.
</code></pre>

<p>Uh, and the prompt was:</p>

<p>Is the way something seems to be not always the same as it actually is?</p>

<p>you have to be more specific in your examples. like for ex, in your personal experience, what did that kid do that signifies he wasn’t like what he looked like from the outside..and more details in Siddhartha…what “truth”…i’d give it somewhere btwn 4-5 out of 6</p>

<p>I’d give this a 7 out of 12.
I don’t see how this essay would be given a 5 out of 6</p>

<p>Thanks! :slight_smile:
Other than specifing the details more, how can I improve moreee?</p>