I have always been a straight A student and got a 4.0 unweighted last year in the ninth grade. I’m a hardworking student in the IB program and I desperately want to go to a top tier school. In September of 2016, my father was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver and given 4 to 6 months to live. Since then, his health has been deteriorating and it is not long now until he goes. As time has gone on, it’s become easier for me, but initially it hit me very hard. I missed a lot of school, wasn’t focused and was slipping into a depression. School was not a priority to me, unsurprising to a fifteen year old who has just found out they are losing their dad. My grades really slipped and the semester ended I had
3 A’s (two are A+)
2 B’s (a B+ and B)
2 C’s
All are in IB/AP classes.
I do not know where to go from here. I need to bring my grades up and improve them but the semester is over. Should I repeat a semester? Is there any way for me to change them? And how much does it, given the circumstances, lower my chances if I get all A’s for the rest of high school?
I think you really need to step back and look at the big picture. You are in the midst of an emotional shock and trauma. Of course your grades are going to suffer - but is that really a priority now? Have you talked to your guidance counselor to see what supports are available to you in your situation?
I would encourage you to use well the time you have left with your dad and then figure out schooling later. Having straight A’s is no guarantee of a perfect happy life.
When you apply to colleges, ask your GC to comment on your family situation. But honestly – that idea that you need to attend a top tier school needs to be put aside for now. You will feel like you blew it in life later on if you sacrifice time with your dad now for the sake of grades. And no, you can’t repeat a semester where you apparently got over a 3.0 GPA. See if you can reduce your course schedule to have more time with your dad and to help the your mom/sibs. Family is 1000 times more important than what college you end up at or if you graduate HS a little late.
@surfcity@intparent thank you guys for the advice. I understand that family is very important right now and I agree with what you all are saying I have always been a perfectionist and the dedication I have for school can be unhealthy or overboard sometimes. I will talk to my guidance counselor.
Your GC will write about it in her recommendation letter. Please though try not to beat yourself up over this.Be kind to yourself. Get counseling if you need it. You will get into college it will work out. It may be different that you imagined but you will find a college that works for you.
My D got diagnosed with a serious illness (tumor) when she was in 9th grade. Her grades did suffer but she recovered. Our goals changed. I was so happy just to have her recover that the grades seemed unimportant.
I am so sorry to hear about your father. Please don’t worry about your grades or going to college right now. Years from now you will look back at this time and realize that desperately wanting to go to a top tier college pales in importance to so many other things. There is no reason at all to retake a semester in which you got two C’s. As suggested, make sure your guidance counselor is aware. These kinds of things will be noted by admissions committees when the time comes.
Going forward, you just do your best. Only time will tell how much your loss will affect your future grades. Don’t be hard on yourself if it takes you longer than you expect to recover. There is no set time for grief. You need to do what works for you. If getting straight As is what works, that’s great, and if getting some Bs and Cs is what works, that is great too. There is a college for everyone and it’s what you do at college that counts, not the college you go to. Best of luck to you.
I have always been a perfectionist and the dedication I have for school can be unhealthy or overboard sometimes. I will talk to my guidance counselor.