“Mom, do i HAVE to play softball?” and I said “no, but you have to play something” (as I am a believer in sports) "
Why? I just don’t get this. Just because you believe in sports doesn’t mean your DNA got carried over… Maybe your kid believes in Math team instead. Or chorus maybe.
Maybe they inherited a decent survival instinct.
These aren’t decisions that will make or break you in life.
“Also, for the person who raised the issue of safety, you are confusing people diving into shallow water ( often drunk) with trained divers.”
I mentioned this story on another thread about HS PE classes.
A girl in my PE class in HS broke her neck diving into the shallow end of a pool. She was being urged (and I’d say badgered) to do something that she was really afraid to do She said several times she couldn’t do it. And spent years in a wheelchair paying for it.
You would be right that she wasn’t with a trained diver. But she was with someone in authority. The PE teacher.
I’m very much in favor of trusting your instincts as to your own abilities. Especially when it comes to physical abilities.
In my experience (I had a kid who was on a US national team–not diving) if a kid is consistently reluctant to go to practice and doesn’t want to move to a higher levell, then I wouldn’t push it. I would let your daughter decide if she wants to quit–be sure to tell her that it is OK with you for her to quit. I’ve seen kids continue with a sport even when they wanted to leave a sport because they felt they would be letting their parents down by quitting. That’s the wrong reason to stay.
Google disagrees.
First National Study Of Diving-related Injuries
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/08/080804100152.htm
Paralyzed diver wins $28 million judgment
https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:oREF0T-FZCcJ:https://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Paralyzed-diver-wins-28-million-judgment-2618550.php+&cd=14&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us
Diving boards now rarities at high schools
http://articles.latimes.com/2007/may/18/sports/sp-diving18
Middle School Injuries: A 20-Year (1988–2008) Multisport Evaluation
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4151838/
(Data showing rate & risk of sports-related injury for children in the OP’s daughter’s age range. While diving does have a fairly low rate, it is much higher for girls than boys).
I’m not here to debate over the relative safety of any sport.
The point is that there is a child who, over a period of 3 months, refuses to go to practice and cries if pressured to go. The child has stated that she is afraid of the dives that she is learning and she wants to quit.
Debating whether or not the child ought to be frightened or not really doesn’t matter. Even if injuries in the sport are rare, it can happen and if a child is crying, it might also be an indication that she is being pushed to attempt dives she is not capable of doing well --which suggests that perhaps her coach or the peer environment is not as safety-conscious as others.
Part of being safe is being aware of risks and taking appropriate precautions against them.
I’d just like to note that kids can and do have a full and complete high school experience that doesn’t involve sports.
I think maybe because, like a lot of things that have to with health, we’re allowed to make demands. Your body was made to move. You’ll be healthier if you’re active so…lots of families say sports, which does include quite a bit more than school or club sports. Maybe, if we lived in a world where we encouraged kids to walk to/from school or we all came home to some sort of regular, physically demanding chores, things would be different. But, I totally get why a family might say a kid needs to have a sport. I “made” mine take piano lessons. Why? Because I think music is good for you. I “made” them participate in physical activity (a sport, dance/cheer, color guard/marching band). Why? Because I think physical activity is important.
@gou78
Reasons:
Spoiler alert: My now 25 year old is playing in a recreational soccer league!
I’d just point out that there are other ways to get exercise besides organized sports. My daughter was a dancer - and definitely got plenty of exercise from the hours upon hours spent in her dance studios. So yes … I understand the sentiment - “you need to do something physical” … but not necessarily a team sport.
One problem I saw with SOME team sports when my kids were growing up was some were overly competitive. If the emphasis was on winning vs. having fun it would not have been a good fit with my parenting philosophy, particularly with prior to high school age. I insisted that my daughter have a least one day a week with unscheduled time – and my daughter on her own opted to take breaks from dance over the summers, rather than have it be a year-round focus.
So to me another red flag from the OP is the statement “the sport will become so intense soon, involving 6 days/week training year round.” – that seems to me to be quite intense for a middle-school age team.
Getting exercise and participating in athletics is one thing. But quite another if the activity becomes an obsession.
Michelle Obama made her kids play two sports, one a team sport like basketball or soccer, and one individual sport like tennis or golf.