<p>Freshman D is going through some serious homesickness issues. Nothing I'm telling her is helping. I'm concerned because I think she still has one foot back home so to say (twitter; skype with friends, etc.) and is not living in the moment in South Carolina and therefore, is not giving it a fair chance. </p>
<p>Anyone dealing with similar situation or have any advice based on past experiences? I'm really hoping it's a passing phase but am beginning to doubt that notion as well.</p>
<p>One of my best-friends from USC had a similar experience fall semester, freshman year. She was absolutely miserable until basically October, when she and I really started to click as friends.</p>
<p>Some people just have a harder time adjusting or there are other factors at play. (For my friend, she didn’t even have her roommate, because her roommate was always gone with the band. So my friend was left alone in the beginning.)</p>
<p>I would be careful with saying that staying in contact with people from back home is the problem. In my experience with most of my friends, there are other things at play and the contact just kind of amplifies it.</p>
<p>Needless to say, I’m currently in France and will be until December, and I’m a tad bit homesick. I call home every day (unlimited free calls to the US from my French cell phone) and pretty regularly keep in touch with my USC friends via Twitter, Facebook, and iMessage. That being said, I’ve definitely made a lot of friends here and am “living in the moment” and enjoying France. Basically, I just try to distract myself with all of the things I’m doing here (like going to Italy for fall break in a few days) and think less about home. I realize that I’m coming home in December and I have a date that I can look forward to. (Less than two months and I’ll be home!)</p>
<p>So basically, my advice: Check to make sure that she’s made friends or is getting involved with clubs and things in order to make friends. If she’s from out-of-state, maybe suggest that she and some friends take a weekend trip (or even a day trip) down to Charleston. The best thing is just to kind of distract yourself so much with how great everything is to the point that you realize, “Hey! I’ll be home in two weeks. I can make that.”</p>
<p>Good luck to your daughter and I really hope her time at Carolina improves. I was homesick a bit my freshman year, and now I’m homesick for Carolina. So it does get better.</p>
<p>Homesickness is very common, especially as the freshman student learns that the instant “dozens of fellow college acquaintances” are not the same as “long time close friends from high school”.</p>
<p>Some get over it more quickly than others, but it’s important that she goes through this and comes out stronger on the other end. Listen to her and be as empathetic as you can. But don’t provide any openings for her to “retreat” back to home with.</p>
<p>In many cases where this happens, when the student returns to school after the Dec/Jan holiday break, they feel like they’re “returning home to their friends”. You may even see a glimpse of this when she returns to school after Thanksgiving break.</p>
<p>On a related note, our son stayed connected to his high school friends well into the fall semester - to a point where my wife and I were getting concerned. That came to a natural end as he began to make close friends at the college he was at.</p>
<p>If she retreats back home, it will represent a type of problem that she’ll believe she can never rise above. The odds are well in her favor that she’ll work through this on her own at school.</p>
<p>Long ago when I was freshman at USC I also was terribly homesick. It took until late in first semester until I started getting involved and then I never wanted to come home. </p>
<p>I agree that it’s ok to stay in touch with home friends but I do think technology makes it easier to stay in your room on the weekends instead of getting out. It wasn’t possible in my day to spend a whole day in the dorm watching an entire season of some TV show on my computer. I met one of my best friends in college because I went to common room to watch TV and she was there. It’s worth noting that my turn around was partly due to my parents putting their foot down and refusing to come get me so that I had to stay around campus on the weekends.:)</p>
<p>It may also help to remind her that she will start seeing students in multiple classes when she gets into her major. She may be in large, gen ed classes right now. As she starts in major she will start to connect with other students and professors that she will get to know. Registration for spring starts soon. Talking about what classes to take is a good conversation starter - encourage her to talk to people she thinks she’d like to get to know better about the classes they are taking. Sometimes having one friend or acquaintance in a class can make it more interesting or at least less daunting.</p>
<p>I know you’ve probably done this, but encourage her to join a group. Service groups are great way to meet people and they are always looking for volunteers for Dance Marathon and Relay for Life - 2 big campus fundraisers that lot’s of students participate in. Also see if there is an association of education majors or join something like Cocky’s reading express that is education oriented.</p>
<p>Remind her that there are other students that feel the same. I think some students feel that once school is underway and students have joined frats/sor or otherwise “found” a place that they have missed the chance to make new friends. Not true. Didn’t really get close to some of my best college friends until soph. year.</p>
<p>Wow! I apologize for my tardiness in responding as I have been distracted with my day job. I really appreciate the thoughtful and reasoned responses here - thank you. This has been a tremendous help primarily as I wanted to make sure I was on track with my approach (e.g., not allowing a retreat as is mentioned above). </p>
<p>For what it’s worth, the homesickness seems to come and go. One day she’ll be fine the next she’s questioning her decision. I agree this seems normal for an 18 year old 800 miles from home. I need to relax and let this play out normally.</p>
<p>Again let me say that you have all really helped me tremendously. Thank you all.</p>
I was homesick a bit my freshman year, and now I’m homesick for Carolina. So it does get better.</p>