I (like a lot of you, probably) applied ED to an Ivy in early November. Realistically, I’m not an outstanding, sure-to-get-in applicant but not a terrible one, either. My grades, test scores, etc. all guarantee me as much of a shot as anyone else, which is all we can really hope for.
Objectively, I know that the school I’m applying to has a very low acceptance rate. I know that I’ll most likely be rejected (though I sure wish I could just scream PLEASE I LOVE YOU at the college till they let me in.) The problem is, I keep getting my hopes up; I catch myself off-handedly thinking about what it would be like to go there, or what the weather would be like there, or how great it would feel to get an acceptance letter.
I don’t want to just tell myself “you are DEFINITELY getting rejected”, because every time I think about that I just feel like crying. At the same time, I know that deluding myself is going to make it hurt a lot worse when I get that “no.” It’s gotten to the point where I need to focus on apps for my other RD schools, but I can’t because all I can think about is THIS SCHOOL. Clearly, I need to find a healthy middle ground.
Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice on how to deal with this and keep sane? Thanks in advance.
The best way to deal with a crush (and that’s what this is) is to find another crush. Start looking hard at the schools you will be applying to RD. Fall in love again with somewhere else - preferable several somewhere elses. Make a list of all the things you really like about each school. Research what makes each of them special. Like a parent with several kids, you love them all, but they are all different and some make loving them easier than others. Just focus on what makes them special. And if current crush comes through, well that’s just dandy. If not, it’s their loss, right? You have other loves in your life who will appreciate you for who you are.
If you have the stats to be a viable candidate at that dream school, there a bunch of other places that would be happy to take you. Some would even throw significant merit-based aid at you. Read through this list. Pick one or two that you could really, really like because they’d be dirt cheap. And expend some energy on planning your dream junior year abroad that you’d be able to pay for because you’d be studying at such a dirt cheap college. http://automaticfulltuition.yolasite.com/
If this isn’t the story of my life, I don’t know what is. Personally, I don’t think it’s a bad thing to get your hopes up. If you get in, hooray! You get to savor the moment, perhaps give your best friend a tight hug as you told her you couldn’t look at it alone. Perhaps live out the dreams you meticulously planned in those 5-minute flashes where you lose yourself in the middle of your AP Biology class. You get to let your friends and family know, celebrate with a special dinner in your favorite restaurant, and choose between different colors and logos of your college sweatshirt. You get to help your friends out with their applications, and hope with them when their results come. You get to plan out your room, buy posters, buy bed-sheets, even pick out that special vanilla-scented air freshener that you love but your mom hates. You get to search up the weather, look at the programs, and fantasize about how wonderful it will be. You get to search up the clubs, wonder which ones you’ll join, and wonder which friends you will meet. You get to search up the nearby coffee shops on campus, look at the reviews, and plan out what you will first order when you visit that coffee shop. Perhaps you will add two pumps of peppermint syrup to the mocha latte, since it will be cold in the fall when you first arrive on campus. You get to start a new life in a new place, occasionally sending pictures to your friends who have gone to different schools, promising to meet up at least once a month. You get to buy a particularly pretty picture frame holding you and your best friend, so that when people ask, you explain who they are. You get to do all of those things.
But, if you get rejected, the disappointment will be all the same, whether you fantasize or not. Because in your heart of hearts, it will sting no matter what you do. You lose a very precious dream. You lose perhaps one of your greatest dreams. And it hurts. But you move on, because inevitably, you will be forced to move on. And you get to pick out a different college, fall in love and fantasize all over again. There will always be a small part of you, who wonders, what if. What if I did get in. What if I was allowed to do all of those things. And that will never really go away. But it will happen regardless of whether you get your hopes up today, or whether you bury those feelings in your sleep tonight. Because in the end, whether you get your hopes up or whether you don’t, it will hurt. I think it’s better to fantasize and love in the moment.
One week left until Ivy decisions come out. I sincerely hope the best of luck to everyone. That we will only have to fall in love once.
What you are experiencing are the roller coaster feelings that go with the college application process, and it is normal. You will swing wildly between high confidence and deep doubt. It is what it is. Like for those before you, this will inevitably pass.
act like you are not going to get into that school. Start preparing applications/essays for other schools. If you do get in, wonderful! if not, you have many other schools to love as well.
Also, what are your scores/GPA/ECs? if you are not the usually accepted range, it may be good to start those essays earlier