<p>hey guys so i am pretty much done with my main college essay there are just a few sentences that need some re-wording...</p>
<p>would anyone be willing to PM me their aim sn so we could talk them through over aim.</p>
<p>thanks so much and i promise i would not bother you after this!</p>
<p>bump 10 char</p>
<p>ok so this is the primary sentence that needs to be changed! i am thinking someone can just comment on it here...</p>
<p>"Concocting a healthy approach to engender respect from the kids, as well as their parents, was the overwhelming task that lay before me."</p>
<ul>
<li>i really hate the word concocting so that must be changed and i dunno just this sentence bugs me... any suggestions?</li>
</ul>
<p>thanks</p>
<p>hey you can PM me ...</p>
<p>thanks, can anyone revise the essay ^</p>
<p>"Concocting a healthy approach to engender respect from the kids, as well as their parents, was the overwhelming task that lay before me."</p>
<p>active voice is usually better: I was faced with the overwhelming task of gaining the respect of the kids and their parents. </p>
<p>but i'm not sure if that's what you meant...</p>