<p>I started my essay like 8 or 9 different times...eventually I finally got a first sentence that I liked, and then it all went fairly smoothly from there. D:</p>
<p>So, yeah. WRITE THE BEJEEZUS OUT OF THAT FIRST SENTENCE, and all should go good from there!</p>
<p>wut r u writin bout??</p>
<p>ohohohoh. okays then, thanks for the tip! :)</p>
<p>uh that's the problem LOL. It's either gonna be soccer, this cultural club I'm in (originally started on this but ended up writing too much about club rather than myself), orrrr helping my cousin with math homework. Can't decide, but I'll probably have to stick with the club if I really can't get the other two laid out (I like to think out all of what I write before I actually write it--and yes, it's inefficient).</p>
<p>Lol, I improvise all my essays. It's the musician in me. \m/</p>
<p>Hm, I'd suggest writing about how you value the cultural club because it brings cultural awareness to different students of different backgrounds, and how an appreciation for cultural traditions outside of one's own ancestral heritage strengthens understanding between all the world's peoples, and this is the only way to prevent antagonism between peoples of different countries who really have more in common than in difference, and then everyone will live happily ever after. <3</p>
<p>This, of course, says that you're Mother Theresa incarnate, and certainly an invaluable addition to any student body!</p>
<p>lawls</p>
<p>wow, that would've taken forever for me to put into words. heh. Well, thanks for your suggestions! Now I just gotta start writing.</p>
<p>leeroyyyyy jeeenkins</p>
<p>How about writing about how you procrastinate? :D That's honest. :P</p>
<p>hmm 3.7 student is right!</p>
<p>if it comes to the last 15 minutes of your essay and you cant wrap it up. might as well throw yourselves to the wolves. maybe post what you go so far so we can give some ideas.</p>
<p>I've thought about that too. But then the prompt asks for something you're proud of, and procrastination isn't a very "positive" quality, so to speak. :0</p>
<p>well, here's what I haD before my dilemma. I don't really mind posting it out in the open since it's kinda crappy anyway (rush job, unfinished):
"Excuse me, would you like to buy some milk tea?"
My friend and I approached a tableful of chatty sophomores, a stack of cups and change in my friend's hands and a pitcher of milk tea in mine. Eager to resume their conversation, one girl quickly replied, "Sorry, I don't have any money with me."
Our third rejection. "That's all right." We withdrew from the room and trudged next door.
This was a typical Thursday lunch period for me in junior year. I would walk around campus with my friend asking people to buy milk tea. Why? We were raising money on behalf of the Asian Cultural Organization, of which we were members, to sponsor three high school teens in rural China.
There were eighteen members and twelve council members when ACO was established. ACO was really just something a group of seniors created so they could hang out and socialize during lunch while getting credit for being in a "leadership position." I did not join that year.
ACO's second year was slightly better. Meetings were seldom and erratic, but there was some genuine effort to promote member interest and involvement. Sometimes we'd have dim sum, sometimes an invitation to watch a Chinese movie after school. Near the end of the year, the ACO council had members research and present a particular Asian country and its culture to the club. However, most people were still very nonchalant about all of this; many did not care for the meetings and did not attend often. The club advisor urged me to run for council, but I declined, partly because I did not like taking charge of anything, partly because I saw no reason to pursue a job with seemingly little purpose.
The following year was the year ACO really started to transform. The council was noticeably more active: meetings were called every two weeks, one of which was an information session that a council member ran about an Asian country and the other for cuisine native to that country. The fundraiser had also taken off that year. The council announced that they were going to support a few kids in China whose families were struggling to pay tuition and that they needed volunteers to sell milk tea during lunch to make this possible. This new addition to the club struck me as a good and noble cause, so I and a handful of others promptly signed up.
Seeing this once small, inactive, and rather self-serving club mature into a vivacious, productive organization that seeks to benefit not only those within our school walls but also those out abroad inspired me. It helped bring out qualities that I thought I was rather weak in.</p>
<p>at first, it sounded like a sitcom/soap opera ... .. .try tying it in with who you are today (i see that you begin that portion at the end of this excerpt)</p>
<p>better than I expected from a procrastinated paper</p>
<p>any other thoughts?</p>
<p>Hm, as a passerby I just wanted to point out that while the topic of your essay is fine, you could've written about it in a way that does a better job of putting yourself in a positive light. It sounds a bit like you only bothered to join after the club itself got better, which may not be a good thing.</p>
<p>And the last sentence could use a little spicing up D:</p>
<p>That was my small condensed serving of quick, honest feedback. Otherwise, I don't think it's such a bad essay.</p>
<p>Yeah, I realized that too, so I'm seeing if I can rewrite this thing completely.
asdfjkl;;;;
oh the pressure.</p>
<p>Elaborate more on YOU. How did that event relate to you? What was it about that event that tells the adcoms something they don't know about?</p>
<p>If you're the kind of person who doesn't know how to sell themselves (like me) just keep remembering to include statements/paragraph conclusions that bring the event/anecdote back to YOU. What did you learn from it? What did you overcome? Or even, what did you learn from others that has inspired you to do something you wouldn't usually?</p>
<p>Don't worry - I'm in the same situation as you. I'm still finalizing my own essays.</p>
<p>30 minutes.</p>
<p>go go go</p>
<p>Leave at least 15 minutes to submit. There's a bunch of other information to go through within the submission/receipt process.</p>
<p>Po' Phishy. :[</p>
<p>Well, I just finished submitting mine. What a relief. Now to get back to my calc and stat hw...</p>
<p>-_-</p>
<p>Phishy, make sure yu gotz da credit card info. Dat shiz important!</p>
<p>phishy....think about the things you can do after finishing.. . ..heheheh</p>
<p>11:59PM!!!!</p>
<p>Did Phishy succeed??? OMG the suspense!!! D:</p>
<p>YES I DID.
I was waiting for the confirmation email, didn't get it, turns out it went to a different folder. RELIEF.</p>
<p>haha yeah when I saw that last step I sped through it hoping I would make it on time. Why on earth they ask you for info you've already given is beyond me.</p>
<p>Thanks for the help guys! You've made this night slightly less miserable than the others. :'D My final essay is still crappy, but at least it talks about me more, lol.</p>
<p>Yay, success for all of us! Screw getting admitted, at least we successfully applied!!! \m/</p>
<p><em>pulls out beer</em></p>
<p>hahah chyeahhh. Are these your last apps?
oh noes, underage drinkin'? don't let teh adcoms find out!1</p>
<p>ahhhhh mans, still got Carnegie Mellon and USC essays to finish.
And I'm wondering if I can make the Dec1 deadline for Stanford. Probably not. I wish art majors didn't have these early deadlines.</p>