<p>Correction to my previous post. My S is on his own to complete his work, study for tests, etc. </p>
<p>I did want to add one thing that is helping S although it is counter intuitive to CC, we limit the ECs my S participates in. Given his issues, he needs downtime to regenerate and rest his brain. He does much better with a relaxed home atmosphere. He has one club sport that runs from Sept to April. That is it. You may find that you will have less to do (ie-managing your son), if he has less to do. Just a thought. I know every kid is different, but I do see my S slipping with his behaviors when he is overscheduled.</p>
<p>So much good advice here. The early sarcastic comment was good as a short wake up to you. You have good HS and college options close to home, no need to worry about that. Colleges have disablities offices now, the public U’s may have better ones than many private schools as they are under the radar for accomodating students more often (parent taxpayers). Medical school may or not be in your son’s future. That is something for him to consider once he is in college. Pay attention to the advice for weaning him from your constant supervision. No matter what path he takes after HS he will need to become independent of parents.</p>
<p>As the parent of a gifted kid (who graduated from HS at age 16, evaluated for ADD in first grade as there are some similar characteristics in both- son did NOT have ADD) I strongly urge you to pay attention to the childhood experiences he can’t participate in once he finishes HS. I’m sure there are activities, including sports, that will provide a nonacademic outlet for some of his extra time and energy. Perhaps Cross Country running will suit him- many good academic students participate in this and you don’t need to be good to do the running or meets, nor is a rigorous attention span required. Be sure he optimizes his childhood before pushing the adult academics. If he does choose a medical career he won’t have time for anything else (I’ve been there, done it) so he should use his youth to do things there won’t be time for later. He (and you) also won’t have future regrets about what he should have done as a child. </p>
<p>Any college can work for medical school. A student, regardless of ADHD or other status, will do best at the best fit college with the major s/he is most interested in. There are adults who are physicians and discover they had AD(H)D characteristics long after enjoying a successful medical career. I don’t recall the books I saw, but you can do a search and find them. Spring of his HS junior year is time for college visits. No need to rush with college level academics- let him go at his academic pace (ie don’t prevent him from doing what he is capable of, either) but with time for things unique to an American childhood (I have an Indian H so I am aware of differences). Your son will probably do better in college after time for more maturing- don’t rush to the college experience. There is a whole lifetime ahead of him to handle adult/college issues, give him time to develop the best foundation while being treated as a child. Once he starts regular college there will be no age concession, no one will care or even know his age. </p>
<p>Your job is to live in the present and do your best with giving your child a good rest of his childhood. You are living in an area with good resources so you don’t have to worry about missing opportunities due to location. Part of your job is finding out ways to increase his independence from you and have him internalize strategies that work for him. He needs to have his own motivation to get the necessary work done. Perhaps the dream of medical school will be the carrot in front of him, plenty of time for any reality checks when he is in college.</p>
<p>Just noticed some cross posting with a last comment by nelliah. Cross Country is good for introverts who need their solo, down time. There is a team and runners run together, but everyone is with their own thoughts while their bodies do the distances. Son also ran distance for track and winter running to keep in shape/continue enjoying the runs.</p>
<p>I’ll quit now- could go on forever. Last bit- it is probably best for your child to have the more relaxed American attitudes so make an effort to be less intense.</p>
<p>Lerkin, I am somewhat familiar with ADHD. At some point in all of my sons’ lives, teachers have suspected they had ADD or ADHD. Son 1 -When a teacher suspected my oldest son had ADD, I researched enough to decide he did not. Son 2 - Every year from preschool through 6th grade, teachers told us he had ADHD. I read every book I could find, interviewed various doctors/psychologists (those who believe in medication for ADHD as well as those who do not), talked with parents of ADHD kids, had him tested, etc. We decided against meds for my son, and that turned out to be best for him. We, too, had teachers who allowed my son some freedom to wiggle, even allowing him to sit in a special “wiggle desk”, where he could stand, wiggle, hop on one foot, etc. On the other hand, my brother decided to give his son Ritalin for his severe ADHD, and that turned out to be best for him. Son 3 - no way he has ADD or ADHD, but when his teacher told us he did, I got back to researching. Anyway, my point is, I have a little understanding of ADD and ADHD. I also love sarcasm, but I apologize for offending you.
Having said all that, eventually all kids, whether they have been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD or not, will be adults who need to function on their own in society, so we all need to ween them from us. The process was more difficult and more time consuming with our Son 2. We had to let him fall on his face many times - 6th through 8th grades were particularly difficult. But by 11th grade, he was right where he needed to be. Sounds like your son is on his way as well.</p>
<p>Our S2 is bright. Scary smart. Very verbal. He follows on the heels of S1, who is Top of the Class sort. Both guys did full IB at the local high school. </p>
<p>What we didn’t realize (completely) is how much Executive Function I (the parent) was providing as S2 went through high school. We realized there were some struggles but a round of ADD meds didn’t work well (made him feel agitated). Also, the IB kids hung together and everyone was working on the same stuff at the same time, so he got carried along in a happy tide of group effort. </p>
<p>Freshman year at college started fine. Spring term was a disaster. He dropped classes and earned an F in one of the remaining one. He literally couldn’t get out of bed for two weeks. </p>
<p>Clearly something was majorly amiss. We had to demand, scream and holler for extensive testing through our HMO. Turns out you can have a Genius IQ and have that paired with practically NO Executive Function (That part of the brain that says "time to go to class). </p>
<p>For our guy, it isn’t Calculus or Chemistry that is hard. It’s remembering that its Wednesday. No kidding. Wednesday is lab day and he needs to have a different schedule. </p>
<p>Please, please have your kid tested extensively so you know what his Executive Function situation is. He can be brilliant but have this shortcoming. More in a minute. </p>
<p>Finally, with correct test results, a different medication was tried (there are over 40 meds for this condition) and the results have been amazing. He is doing much, much better.</p>
<p>The testing that was so amazing in seeing how our guy’s brain worked were:</p>
<p>Delis-Kaplan Executive Function System (D-KEFS)
Auditory Consonant Trigrams (Brown Peterson Task)
Rey Complex Rigure Test</p>
<p>all administrated by a psychologist who specializes in adolescents. </p>
<p>As for colleges, please, please consider a warm and friendly place where a bright but sometimes “spacy” student will be cherished and not ridiculed or ignored. Kenyon College was on our list. </p>
<p>Also look for classes that play to your son’s strengths. For instance, if he is superior in math, you don’t want him at a college where he has to slog through a year of classics before enrolling in a math class. Colorado School of Mines was another consideration for our guy for that reason.</p>
<p>Just want to say that this is a great thread with a lot of wise people who have learned through their own family struggles. I have gained a lot from reading it and really appreciate the information too.</p>
<p>While visiting Carleton with older son, I had a very strong feeling that it would be a great choice for younger child, who has Asperger’s. That’s almost 4 years away, so I haven’t put in the research yet to see if the facts back up my hunch. Carleton is near you and very strong in sciences. It’s not inexpensive but reportedly has great financial aid. Northfield seems like happy land: colleges, cows and contentment. Maybe worth checking out.</p>