Stubborn Parents

<p>First off, I’d like to say that I’m a junior and I’ve been spending a lot of time doing research and discovering bunches of colleges that I hadn’t heard of before, like Claremont McKenna and Macalester, that I feel like are better fits that what had previously been my top choices.</p>

<p>My problem? My parents are far too obsessed with prestige when it comes to picking colleges. They feel that the ones on my list are a “step down” from places like Stanford, Yale, and Brown. I mean, obviously, these are amazing institutions, but I feel like for my undergraduate studies, they’re just not for me. Still, no matter what I say, I feel like I cannot convince them to support me. (I’ve been kinda rash about what I’ve said sometimes… we’re Chinese immigrants and I’ve kind of made comments about how they don’t understand the college system here.)</p>

<p>Anyway, I was hoping to get advice from parents who can point me toward threads, articles, or really anything that I can use and compile a sort of packet that will (hopefully!) sway them into thinking ivies and the US News & World Rankings aren’t everything.</p>

<p>you may never be able to "sway" your parents, but that shouldn't mean you can't find your own way and make your OWN dream happen. from what you say, your parents are like so many others. blinded by labels and a narrow, elite focus. there are SOOO MANY great schools in this country. and they all have their own personality, which you MUST consider as to whether they're a fit for you or not. there are many sources for you to consider. here on CC there's plenty of talk about the bogus nature of USNW, and the skewed way in which they place the schools for ranking. what was once the "bible" of school rankings is being exposed for what it's really about. you can also look into writings done by the president of Drew University(NJ) who started the movement to NOT complete the USNW questionnaire, thereby not being included... a courageous move! also on CC there's an excellent thread started by the moderator, tokenadult. he did an incredible job of the "__ most noteworthy colleges." i used a blank, because i forgot how many he ended up with. it started with 168. he explains how he did it and all the references he used. many, many posters responded and added their own sources as well. and of course, you should peruse the reference shelves in Borders or Barnes and Noble, too. best of luck to you. let me know if this helps!</p>

<p>I used to think this way too, declaring these colleges to be my top choices. And somehow, sometime, I realized the benefits of an Ivy League education is second to none.</p>

<p>Most foreign-born parents haven't heard of the SLACs. Many come to the US as graduate students, so they only know about the schools with graduate programs, or they came here without knowing the educational system at all and have only heard of the big brand names. It may be impossible to pursuade them to consider schools they haven't heard of right now, so perhaps you can compromise: Visit both kinds of schools together. Apply to a few that they want you to apply to, and to a few that you'd prefer. You probably won't be accepted everywhere, given the level of competition especially at the big brand name schools, so there may be nothing to argue about. (Rule of Thumb: Never waste your bullets arguing about something theoretical with parents.) If you do get into more than one place, you can educate them about the differences and possibly persuade them-especially if you get merit scholarships or other benefits that might appeal to them. By taking the position that you are open-minded and willing to consider their preferences, you will have a better chance of getting them to do likewise.</p>

<p>Here's the link to the list that Tokenadult made, referred to by happycollegemom: <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/437362-still-looking-college.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/437362-still-looking-college.html&lt;/a>. Lots to look at there, Good luck.</p>

<p>Here are two links you may find interesting:</p>

<p>Who</a> Needs Harvard? - Brookings Institution
Getting</a> In: The New Yorker</p>

<p>BTW, my oldest daughter is at Brown, and one of her close friends is at Macalester. In fact, I’ll be playing tennis with Emily’s father in 90 minutes. He went to Macalester too and is the top technology attorney for an Ivy University (he oversees and manages the department that handles all the University’s patents & technology). I also think Macalester & Brown have more similarities than differences.</p>

<p>I can afford to send my daughter to Brown after graduating from my City & State University systems. Graduating from a prestige university can’t hurt, but doesn’t guarantee amazing earnings or anything else. Few of my neighbors went to Ivies... yet, if they can afford to live in our neighborhood, they’ve certainly managed some degree of success.</p>