Need help, opinions on dismissal appeal letter, feedback welcomed

<p>Dear Academic Appeal Committee,
I am writing this letter in the hopes that you will see fit to appeal my academic dismissal from XXXX and reinstate me as a student. I realize that I have not met the standards set by the college and have no one other than myself to blame for this fact. However, I would like to explain why it is that I have not been performing ideally and why I will no longer be hindered by these issues in the future and will be able to succeed next semester, should you see fit to reinstate me.
First off, in the beginning of the semester I had an issue with my roommates, which progressed to the point where I no longer felt comfortable being able to return to my own room and had serious concerns about living there. I was, however, able to move to a new dorm, where I immediately felt much more comfortable.<br>
While taking steps to remedy my living situation and arrange to move to a new room, I had a mental breakdown and became severely depressed, to the point where I found it necessary to seek out help at the counseling center. While this depression is not necessarily a new occurrence, as I was diagnosed with ADHD and mood and anxiety disorders from a young age, I felt that this bout was severe enough that I was genuinely concerned for my own physical well-being. Attending the counseling center helped me work through some of these issues, to the point where I was able to function in daily life to a degree, but was not able to reach my maximum. However, it was not until near the end of the semester that I was finally able to have an appointment with my psychiatrist, who prescribed a new medication which has greatly remedied the issues with my mood disorders.
In addition to these issues, mid-semester I also became disillusioned with my major and approached my adviser for advice regarding changing it. After talking with him, I found the best course of action was to take the steps to go about changing my major, which I did, and believe in with this change my academics will improve.
Finally, at the end of the semester, when finals were starting, I fractured my wrist rolling skating during a school-sponsored event. A combination of the discomfort from my cast, the considerable pain from my fractured wrist, and the pain medications that I was placed on made it very difficult to study and focus on my schoolwork. I only recently had the cast removed and gotten the use of my hand back.
In conclusion, I would like to offer the committee, and the XXXX College, my apologies for my poor academic performance and thank them for considering my appeal. I accept the fact that in the end, I was the one who was responsible for my academics and I did not live up to that responsibility. However, I hope the committee will see that I took steps to resolve the issues that were plaguing me during the previous semester and how these issues will not affect me in the future, and I will be able to perform to a higher academic ability if I am reinstated.
Sincerely,
xxxxx</p>

<p>You should point the finger away from yourself and focus more on the aspect of “why school X is still my #1 interest”. </p>

<p>Was this your first semester? If not, what semester/year are you in? What have your grades been like prior to this semester? What were your grades this semester? Did you stop going to classes or handing work in?</p>

<p>I think it doesn’t need to have so many details-- would shorten if possible. Basically, you did poorly because you had a really difficult living situation that led to depression and also broke your
wrist. After counseling and medication, the depression is better and your wrist is healed.</p>

<p>Wouldn’t say “I had a mental breakdown and became severely depressed”
Would say “I became depressed to the point that I found it necessary…”
Wouldn’t include “While this depression… well-being”
Would have a full paragraph at the end focusing on how you feel better, you’re focused and motivated and feel confident that you will succeed next semester with your new major.</p>

<p>Could be shorter. I recommend removing the first four lines of paragraph two (about the roommates and the nervous breakdown) and just start with, </p>

<p>“First, I became depressed and sought care from the counseling center. While this depression is not necessarily a new occurrence, as I was diagnosed with ADHD and mood and anxiety disorders from a young age, I felt that this bout was severe enough that I was genuinely concerned for my own physical well-being. Attending the counseling center helped me work through some of these issues, to the point where I was able to function in daily life to a degree, but was not able to reach my maximum. However, it was not until near the end of the semester that I was finally able to have an appointment with my psychiatrist, who prescribed a new medication which has greatly remedied the issues with my mood disorders. Moving to a new dorm away from unsupportive roommates has been another positive change I have made this semester to help deal with my problems.” </p>

<p>Too long and too focused on the negative and not enough on the positive. Try this:</p>

<p>Dear Academic Appeal Committee,</p>

<p>I am writing this letter to appeal my academic dismissal from XXXX and to ask you to consider reinstating me as a student. I realize that I have not met the standards set by the college and take full responsibility for this. However, I believe that I have effectively addressed the issues that led to my academic deficiency and that I am now in a position to do significantly better next semester, should you see fit to reinstate me.</p>

<p>My difficulties last semester were attributable to several factors. First, I encountered issues with my roommates at the beginning of the semester. I was ultimately able to move to a new dorm, but dealing with the issues and the move triggered a depression that required help at the counseling center. It was not until the end of the semester that I was able to see a psychiatrist, who prescribed a new medication that has been very effective in addressing my mood disorders. </p>

<p>In addition to these issues, I also went through a decision-making process with my adviser during the semester that led me to a change in my major. Although I believe the change in major is the right course, it added to the disruption of my last semester.</p>

<p>Finally, at the end of the semester, when finals were starting, I fractured my wrist while roller skating at a school-sponsored event. My wrist was put in a cast and I experienced considerable pain that required me to take pain medication. This made it difficult to study and focus on my schoolwork and finals. The cast was only recently removed and my wrist is no longer in pain.</p>

<p>As described above, I believe that all of the factors that led to my academic difficulties last semester have now been addressed. I have a new living situation; I am on medication that has eliminated my mood disorders; I am happy with my new major; and I feel physically healthy. As a result, I am confident that I will be able to improve my academic performance if I am reinstated.</p>

<p>Please let me know if there is additional information I can provide with respect to my appeal. I look forward to your decision.</p>

<p>Sincerely,
xxxxx</p>