I have a niece who has completely blossomed in ECU’s STEPP program. It has enabled her to be very successful.
https://www.collegestar.org/students/stepp-program
I wonder if the ADHD and dyslexia are somehow giving an overall impression of immaturity. And taking time out for a gap year will not change the fact that she has those disabilities.
I really really hope she changes her mind about using accommodations in college. In fact, at some schools, you must register with the Office of Disabilities to receive support services. The Office of Disabilities will give her letters to take to professors. At some schools, the particular disability is not mentioned (though it is in a file accessible to a faculty) and some schools won’t list the requested accommodations either, so the student works them out with the teacher.
In our experience at 3 schools with 3 kids, the Office of Disabilities did not end up being the main source of support. Instead, deans and various other unofficial folks like MD’s or tutors or therapists were the ones who helped secure support. Some schools provide tutors, others suggest you hire one.
There are enough schools with specialized support programs, including community colleges and some small liberal arts colleges, that I would think she could find a good match.
Also, be aware that many schools are now test-optional: https://www.fairtest.org/university/optional
Rather than college, and given her sister’s boarding school experience, would a post-grad year at a boarding school make sense?
My D23 is also dyslexic and dyscalculic-no ADD/ADHD though. For us, her IEP has mostly been about giving her tools she can use. She uses “her tools” and is pretty meticulous about using text to speech to write papers, spell check, highlighters, and keeping organized. For math, we still haven’t found what works. But she did just use the “extra time” accommodation for a math test for the first time in her life. Her teacher urged her to take it slow and methodically - normally she would be too embarrassed to use the extra time, but I think she knows she’s is over her head in this class. I wonder if at this point, you could sit down with her school and talk about her executive functioning skills-consider how much she has grown since freshman year and then really pinpoint where she is lacking now-and ask them for a plan that shifts from them giving her what she needs (organizational coaching) to encouraging her to take charge and show them how she can organize herself? That’s the next step that she’ll need at some point soon. Lastly-does your school/do you have Naviance? Have you sat down and looked at that together? I think as far as motivation-does she know that if she wants to go to a school like Marist or Quinnipiac, she’ll need to have a GPA and scores in a certain range? I have just begun poking around the Naviance for our school and it’s a bit comforting to see other kids that I assume my D will be in range with-and to see that they ended up at places where I think she’ll be a good fit. Good luck. A good friend whose child also has some ld’s told me that she felt like the maturity comes in little bits and then big bumps!
@happymomof1 I have suggested PG year several times and she is very much NOT interested. Not sure why–maybe the idea of “one more year of HS”. Not sure.
@Lennon the learning support she gets definitely starts “weaning” them through the years and then really starts stepping back senior year–it’s her 5th year in the program and I can see they are putting a lot more on her and her accountability this year. I have no idea where her grades ended up the first quarter–they should be out later this week I imagine. They are not using Naviance this year but some other tool that they have found to have less discrepancies–I haven’t been able to log on yet though. I’d love to see that data and see how she compares. It was really helpful when my older daughter was doing her college search.
Glad to hear that your D is asking for extra time–I don’t think mine ever does that but doesn’t feel she needs to because she always finishes in time–sometimes that’s good and sometimes not!
Have you toured colleges yet? We found that a big motivator for our children. Somehow, hearing the AD say grades matter was much more influential than years of us saying the same thing!
I would go the community college route. It is a next step and a good test for her. If she is successful there then she can move on to a 4 year college.
TCNJ comes to my mind - known for being a “teacher school”. Everyone I know who went there, loved it. Nice campus, relatively easy (but not too easy) to get in. Probably easier for OOS students. It has a decent sport culture as well, although it’s a D3 school.
@nhatrang I will look into this–not familiar. Thanks!
When in high school, my DD had ADD, lacked exec functioning skills, was messy, introverted, and lacked maturity in many areas. She liked school and when she actually turned in her homework, she did well. But she often lost or misfiled the assignment or didn’t even know the assignment existed. Her stats were similar to your daughter’s.
She got a job her senior year and now credits her job with helping her immensely with time management skills. She actually thought ahead and planned things out (if I have to work at 5, I need to leave by 4:30, so I have to be in the shower by 4:00, etc.) The responsibility was great for her.
It was really 50/50 if she could hack going away to school. We toured schools with her and also threw out the idea of community college so she could “figure put college” without having to take on managing roommates, finances, laundry, etc at the same time.
She refused to do a gap year.
During her senior year, she decided to go to community college “but just for one year”. That one year turned into 3 as she went part time and kept working. She loved it. It took her a while, but she got involved. She matured. She never missed an assignment.
We gave her her space. We never woke her up, asked if she got her assignments turned in, when she’d be home, etc She did all her own registering for classes, making appointment with advisors, etc. We were there if she asked advice (“do you think taking X class and Y class at the same time will be too hard?”)
So she may not have gotten the perfect 4 year experience that we all dream of for our kids. But she probably would not have that that had she gone away. This was the right path for her. (She transferred to a state school and did wonderfully!)
TCNJ is considered one of the hardest state school admits. It’s very competitive, especially for education since that is one of their strengths. Not to say she wouldn’t have a shot, but I don’t consider TCNJ “relatively easy” to get into at all.
From the TCNJ website:
While there are no minimum transcript requirements for admission, recently admitted students averaged an A/A- GPA and a rank in the top 15% of their graduating class. These students also averaged a 1265 on the Math and Reading sections of the SAT and a 28 on the ACT… though again, there are no minimum test scores required for admission.
@g8rmomk8ans My friend’s daughter is a freshman there doing 5 year Master in education. Take a drive there to check it out, probably around 4 hours from DC. Good luck
@NJWrestlingmom That’s why i also said (Not too easy). I supposed “relative easy” is also a relative term, but i think it’s reachable for OP’s daughter, as you posted the info from their site (28 ACT average and 1265 AVERAGE). The OP’s daughter’s pre-ACT is 26. She has more than enough time to get better at it. Also I would imagine being OOS would help, as the school needs OOS money.
Anecdotally, not a single soul I know who applied there and didn’t get in. It’s a safety school for most from my kiddo’s grade. Doesn’t mean that it’s not a good school.
personally, I would have her wait, as painful as that is. I think sending her to college now is setting her up for failure. with a 2.9 GPA she hasn’t really shown yet that she can handle a college courseload, especially when the helpful accommodations her high school and her parents have made for her are removed. I speak a bit from experience- my niece has ADHD, although her situation might be different because she is also on the autism spectrum with high-functioning Asperger’s. She started off at a small, nurturing LAC, seemed to do OK freshman year (but without friends), and then broke down sophomore year and dropped out. Now she is doing well at community college and living at home. The whole thing was a big blow to her self-esteem.
Community college would be a great launching point, but if she doesn’t like that idea (carries a stigma, unfortunately)…lots of kids do gap years for many different reasons- I see no reason why your daughter shouldn’t.
Our S graduated TCNJ with high honors as a finance major. I assure you the school is academically very competitive.
I’d wait until next year and see how’s she doing. She could mature a lot in a year, or not at all.
TCNJ might be too competitive at this point for your daughter but Stockton University might be in reach. It’s in south Jersey and does very well with teacher education and is much easier to get into than TCNJ. It doesn’t have football but definitely has school spirit.
May I recommend Centenary University in Hacketstown NJ? They have a great disabilities support program, and they have an upperclassman attend each freshman level class to be a supportive peer and guide students. If your child doesn’t show up to class or hand something in, the teacher or the upperclassman will call and help get your kid back on track. They also have a lot of opportunities for leadership, and will gently nudge kids to try them out.
I think both Marist and TCNJ will be out of reach if she doesn’t get her GPA up.