Need URGENT advice

<p>So my app for Stanford is due tomorrow, and I need input on my last unfinished supplement. I've been told it's a little off topic, so I may need to rewrite it. Please tell me what you think, and if I should choose a different topic or not.</p>

<p>Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.</p>

<p>Ever since I co-founded Ace of Shakes for a fundraiser two years ago, I’ve learned the basics of how to run a business, the importance of communicating with strangers, and how to effectively work with teammates. As the chief financial officer, I was responsible for the very survival of our fledgling company. During the early days of our startup, I didn’t even have a clue of where to start before I spent countless nights pouring over Excel spreadsheets and analyzing our financial situation. From securing our business’s initial loan to micromanaging our profit margins, I learned a great deal about how to keep a business afloat.
To even get a loan in the first place, I had to search for backers that would support our cause. After I contacted numerous parties, the Los Gatos Rotary Club decided to sponsor Ace of Shakes – but only after we gave a presentation to persuade them. During the presentation, I couldn’t help feeling a little pride as the other members of Ace of Shakes and I delivered a stellar oratory, centered around my solid financial plan and our company’s diligent work ethic. I observed how effective our appeal was to the Rotary Club, and by using the same approach to potential consumers, we were able to make many more sales.
Things did not always go smoothly however, and because I was in a position of power, I was involved in many of the heated discussions that took place. Overcoming our disagreements was by far the most challenging obstacle our company faced, and it was also our most significant issue, one that would decide the future direction of Ace of Shakes. I realized how counter productive all the bickering was, so I was the first to compromise, by agreeing to lower profit margins. By giving up a little, our entire business gained as a whole, and we resumed our productivity as a result. This experience taught me that running a successful business isn’t a one man operation, but a collective team effort.</p>

<p>Hi, The way you present the experience, it doesn’t represent “intellectual development.” Unless you can make a strong argument and show how it helps you develop intellectually, I suggest you find another topic. Also, see link below, might help…</p>

<p>[intellectual</a> - definition of intellectual by Macmillan Dictionary](<a href=“Welcome to Macmillan Education Customer Support”>Welcome to Macmillan Education Customer Support)</p>

<p>Hope this helps. Best of luck! :)</p>

<p>Thank you, that’s exactly what I thought. </p>

<p>Time to whip up a new essay.</p>

<p>Edit: Do you think an essay about my experience with computer hardware could be a better topic possibly?</p>

<p>The experience should show deeper insight and level of thinking…</p>

<p>Ok I have the other essay in the works right now. I would be extremely grateful if you could look it over when I finish it in a bit.</p>