<p>I have decided to write my essay on my passion for business; starting with getting kicked out of camp (after 8 years) for running a grilled cheese, soda,candy, and mr.noodle business and ending with starting my nonprofit Shop for a Cause (published twice this month in different news pappers). </p>
<p>My concern, i dont want to ruin my chances at a good school for coming off as a "bad ass" or as rich (for attending camp). Any feed back is much appreciated!</p>
<p>fyi
ACT:31</p>
<p>Colgate, Brown, Bowdin, Cornel, Upen, NYU, Tufts</p>
<p>Were you young when you got kicked out of camp…like, was it a cute thing? Or was it like you were 17 and deliberately breaking a rule?</p>
<p>I was 13 when i got sent home for being the ring leader of the “food” ring. it was hard as camp was my favorit place in the world.</p>
<p>It’s all in the way you present it. Have an objective third party - a teacher perhaps? And adult friend? - read it and give you a frank appraisal of how it comes off. You don’t want to ask a friend or someone who will feel obligated to say nice things - this is one time when you want straight unvarnished feedback.</p>
<p>I would talk about Shop for a Cause. The camp situation will make you seem rule breaking, immature. You have to follow the rules in any organization/college/company.</p>
<p>Nothing wrong with being immature at 13, Murphy, so long as it’s acknowledged that it seemed like a great idea at the time, but maybe wasn’t. The point is how this fits with a life-long passion for entrepreneurship. And I think getting kicked out of camp for running a highly successful business might be a great starting point for an essay about understanding the regulatory environment in which a business operates as a key to success!</p>
<p>I agree with Murphy 600. I would talk about your entrepreneurship but leave out the part about getting kicked out of the camp. Or you could talk about starting the food thing at a camp (don’t name the camp) but not mention the “kicked out” part. In retrospect, though, they might ask you about it more during an interview, so I just would not mention the camp at all. Can’t you talk about running the grilled cheese business without mentioning camp and getting kicked out? I think that an Ad Com member would be very leery of a student who broke rules at a camp and was kicked out. Just my two cents.</p>