URGENT!! URGENT!! ESSAY NEEDS REVIEW

College Essays
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<p>Hey all! My deadline is approaching very fast and I need someone to review my essay. My mom read it for me once but it needs more help. Please criticize freely. Thank you!</p>

<p>Georgia Tech Supplement TWO
Georgia Tech's motto is: "Progress and Service." What does that mean to you? 150 words</p>

<p>I started supplying ten bottles of fresh drinking water every week to five families living in slums after I saw a child filling her bottle with dark, dirty water from the drains. This was not normal even in a country where beggars lined bus stands and footbridges every day. Slum dwellers and beggars used these drains as makeshift toilets and pedestrians used them as spit basins.
Maybe my small act didn’t help end poverty or make a revolutionary invention, but I help a few people move towards a better life. My service led to a progress in some lives, if not whole of humanity. But most importantly, with them I, myself, took a step towards progress. I advanced in the process of being a better human. </p>

<p>Iam not sure whether this essay properly addresses the question. Iam actually very confused about this question and would appreciate any help.</p>

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<p>You shouldn’t post any supplements on here. People could take your essay if they like it more. If anything, you should’ve PM people who were willing to read it.
I feel like you explained how you conducted an act of “Progress and Service”. I don’t think you answered the question, “What does it mean to you?” You can keep the first paragraph, but you need to state what “Progress and Service” is for you, on a personal note.</p>