<p>^^Albion, I’m so glad you found CC and have taken the initiative to post your thoughts. At its core, we’re all hoping the BS experience is about education, so it’s nice to have someone who’s actually “in the trenches” giving those of us left at home an on the ground report. MUCH appreciated!!!</p>
<p>Albion: I agree with PelicanDad wholeheartedly. I, too, am an educator and will PM you.</p>
<p>Albion, that negativity must be so frustrating. It’s too bad there isn’t more mutual respect.</p>
<p>wcmom, It makes me sad to hear about the decline in public schools even in so-called good districts. I went to LA public schools ages ago, and it was almost unheard of (and unnecessary) for a middle-to-upper middle class family to think of private school. Different times.</p>
<p>Thanks Pelicandad, wcmom and lemonade for your kind words. It’s not my intention to hijack the thread–this is meant to be for parents who are experiencing negative reactions to their choosing something other than the local public school.</p>
<p>The negativity flying around can occasionally be dispiriting, but in the end, I have a rewarding career that I love, and many of you have found schools where your kids have flourished. I wish the same fortune for everyone.</p>
<p>That line about the good teachers are needed elsewhere is such a crock. Well, it’s true…but it has no connection to any physical or metaphysical dimension that runs a tangent to reality.</p>
<p>Look at what government does to address teaching in districts with the most at-risk children: they send in new, wet-behind-the-ears teachers with a promise of student loan forgiveness. As much as I’m willing to admit that these teachers have energy and enthusiasm going for them, I’m loathe to give any ground on the proposition that their cheery dispositions make up for what they lack in identifying behaviors and understanding what resources are available and, more importantly, having enough gray hair and confidence in what they’re doing to be strong, effective advocates for their students’ needs.</p>
<p>When I see governments recruiting the best and most experienced teachers to go into the districts where the most challenging problems run deep, I’ll buy into the claim that teachers should rework their careers and make that kind of unilateral sacrifice. That’s also when I’ll buy one of them fancy North Face jackets because if that happens, I’m sure I’ll be in for a cold spell when I die and meet my likely fate.</p>
<p>To the people who come up with this line, Albion, do you ask the doctors why they aren’t giving polio vaccines in the Great Lakes region of Africa? do you ask the lawyers how many pro bono capital punishment cases they’ve defended or how many times they’ve represented guardians for abused and neglected children in social services cases? do you ask the stock brokers…well, I don’t know what you’d ask them. do you ask the accountants how many hours they spend working with VITA each year? There are very few of us who couldn’t give a little more of ourselves to advance the common good and lift up those in need, so it’s absurdly arrogant and totally lacking in humility and self-awareness to ask someone else why they have not reordered their life to maximize their utility to the universe. Someone who broached that line of engagement with me would be well-advised to have some serious cred, approaching Mother Teresa, before I’d let them get away with that sort of BS.</p>
<p>This decision depends totally on the child. Some thrive in an independent setting (our older son) and some do best with the support and home infrastructure (our younger son). One size does not fit all.</p>
<p>D-Maker, Well said!</p>
<p>Ditto, </p>
<p>(ten char)</p>
<p>D’yer Maker, it IS a crock, but in our society, teachers are expected to behave like Mother Theresa. If a teacher smokes, eyebrows are raised. If a teacher is seen in a bar, people disapprove. If a teacher’s car is “too nice”, people tsk-tsk. If a teacher rents an adult movie, well that means they are a danger to children. Actions that are tolerated in other adults of other professions are not in teachers. Teachers, even outside the classroom are expected to always have model behavior and to not show any signs of affluence.</p>
<p>Momb2k, I read your post and thought “wait–people actually acknowledge that the tacit morals clause for teachers is kooky?” You just made my week! (although you left out the women’s dress code. Female teachers cannot wear anything too low-cut or too short on their own time in venues nowhere near the school.) </p>
<p>I thought D’yer’s snappy comebacks were funny, but the only people who have ever shamed me for teaching in prep schools were teachers who actually are teaching in underfunded, overcrowded, sinking public schools, or folks who work for an underserved population in a non-profit. I took a few years off teaching prep school to work in the education wing of a non-profit and am taking a fair amount of flak now that I’m heading back to teach boarding school this fall. Alas, my self-indulgent desires for basic medical insurance, a salary, and a 403b got the better of me. 
Even though the demographics of who is attending private school have shifted a little in recent decades, there’s still an intrenched belief that these are enclaves strictly for the super-wealthy and the privleged. There’s deep anxiety about the gulf between haves and have nots in this country.</p>
<p><<there’s still=“” an=“” intrenched=“” belief=“” that=“” these=“” are=“” enclaves=“” strictly=“” for=“” the=“” super-wealthy=“” and=“” privleged.=“” there’s=“” deep=“” anxiety=“” about=“” gulf=“” between=“” haves=“” have=“” nots=“” in=“” this=“” country.=“”>> </there’s></p>
<p>I don’t know if this is true, but my son told me he was struck by the fact that he feels he is one of the few “middle class” families at his school. He says either the kids are stinking rich and are traveling all over the place during school breaks, wearing the best of Burberry, or they are on full scholarship and getting their laptops and everything else included in their scholarship.</p>
<p>He feels funny being one of the few middle class families whose parents both work trying to pay the tuition, who can attend, but has no extras to travel or do much else. The one thing he can do is afford the track warm up suit. It seems this is the major difference between him and the scholarship kids who are still restricted when it comes to outerwear with school insignia. Why the school doesn’t pay for that too, I don’t know…but I guess they draw the line somewhere.</p>
<p>RBGG: Have to agree with your son’s assessment. My current one there is also middle class (at your kid’s school three grades apart though!) and felt the same way. I always spring for the sports jackets though. Some coaches are more sensitive than others about keeping the cost down. In general, they have benefited from the travel thing because they have been invited along several times ;-)</p>
<p>@rbgg: Interesting perspective, thank you! Especially for middle class families in high cost of living and high tax states (i.e. the Northeast, West Coast and Chicago at least), the cost of BS would be especially onerous. At $50k/year * # of children in BS or college you get to the after-tax income figure required simply to pay for school. Dividing that after-tax figure by one minus the effective tax rate (Federal, State and Local) gets you to a relevant pre-tax figure. In states like NY where the aggregate marginal tax rate is over 50%, a family with two children in BS or college would require an incremental $200k of pre-tax income simply to pay for school. Personally, I’d like to see a portable tax credit follow my kids to school, since I’m also paying for the woeful public schools in my area while doing my part to support inter-generational social programs. I’m not going to hold my breath though. :)</p>
<p>That would be dangerous if you did.</p>
<p>One fault i see here with parents complaining about the fall in their home schools us how active have you been. Public schools do offer alot that BS do not including a wide variety of people from future mechanics to future Nobels. They also offer marching bands (ours ranked 3rd in US and invited to play all over the world)
How many of you have ran for the school board to try to change things?</p>
<p>I’m not sure what you mean by “home schools.” That is like saying that the Post Office is my personal courier. In any major city, running for school board is comparable to running for city council. Even if that were successful the result would be somewhere between Sisyphus and Kafka’s The Trial (check out the ending, I won’t spoil it.)</p>
<p>As for music, at my kids’ BSs they can take individual music lessons for credit and without additional charge. I know my parents paid separately for music lessons when I was a child attending my local public school. </p>
<p>Children taking advanced subjects in a public high school are unlikely to be sharing classrooms with your referenced future mechanics. Beyond that, in many public school systems, those future mechanics are farmed out to separate schools for vocational training during high school.</p>
<p>Life is short. Spending your effort and money on your own children presents the biggest opportunity for their success. My childrens’ success seems like a worthy objective for me as a parent.</p>
<p>@Princess Dad, I actually am former Chair of the school board and understand all too well how difficult/slow change is, particularly with shrinking budgets. Funding differs so much state to state that it is near impossible to make blanket statements about PS quality across the board. So across geography and age groups there are differences. My friend who called me an elitist has children who graduated just a few years ago – but her experience with local schools is vastly different from mine. We even have a local Nobel laureate – but he went to our schools 20+ years ago. With current class sizes climbing and course offerings shrinking, it’s not fair to compare now and then – or here and the east coast. The national trend is underfunding of public schools, but some places are still better than others. </p>
<p>And Kraodrawah, vouchers will encourage even more people to abandon the PSs. Do we really want a country without an educated, voting public? That seems to be the trajectory…</p>
<p>Vouchers would indeed lead to many abandoning the publics that they are not happy with. I don’t see how that would in turn lead to an uneducated voting public, unless the privates that the families picked were even worse than the publics they left. But who would leave a good public for a poorly performing private, voucher or not? If anything, vouchers would lead to more educated electorate by making all schools, public and private, accountable for the educational services that they provide. Personally, I am not interested in “saving public schools” as much as I am interested in creating opportunities for kids to learn. Whether that happens in a public or a voucher paid private makes no difference to me because I don’t care if the local public shuts down because everyone left. The priority should be the education of the kids instead of the egos of teachers and administrators. If the public school is doing a good job, what is there to fear?</p>
<p>Neato: I doubt we’re going to agree on this no matter what, but here’s one (of many) concerns. Vouchers would apply to all private schools which would eliminate the separation of church and state. Who would make sure that private schools aren’t teaching creationism, communism, white supremacy, etc.? Public schools are the last really public institutions, without them, what common community is left? I do understand, and share, frustrations about our public schools, but I’d rather try to fix them than abandon them. I am angry that I’ve had to go broke and send my kids away just to get them a well-rounded education. But there are plenty of religious schools around here that I won’t send them to, even if they do have the art, music and PE that have been cut in the public schools.</p>
<p>@wcmom: Neato pretty much covered the voucher topic, but I’d like to amplify a bit. </p>
<p>First, there is abundant evidence that EVEN state run public schools can be and are currently being politicized. There is therefore no basis to argue that private education would on balance be less responsible than public. Private schools have customers and a need to satisfy those customers. Public schools have to take everyone BUT get their money from the government. Whom are public schools therefore incented to please? </p>
<p>In the delivery of goods and services, competition is the friend of the consumer. Think about this. It’s a very powerful idea, and evidence for its truth is likely scattered throughout your closets, pantry, furnishings, garage, etc.</p>
<p>The Establishment clause of our constitution does not establish freedom FROM religion. It simply prevents the establishment of a state church along the lines of the Church of England. Understanding European history helps to understand the relevant context. I know this is a source of much debate, but a reading of the relevant text (linked below) is pretty clear. This isn’t really the venue for that debate.</p>
<p>Finally, pluralism is an important aspect of our country. I have linked to its definition below. The idea that some entity, whether government or state-established church, should control the flow of ideas in a top-down manner is absolutely Orwellian. The beauty of a competitive market for education is that parents, empowered to vote with their feet and their dollars (tax dollars do come from citizens after all) can adjust with great flexibility and speed to move their children to the most suitable educational venue.</p>
<p>[Establishment</a> Clause - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Establishment_Clause_of_the_First_Amendment]Establishment”>Establishment Clause - Wikipedia)</p>
<p>[pluralism</a> - definition of pluralism by the Free Online Dictionary, Thesaurus and Encyclopedia.](<a href=“Pluralism]pluralism - definition of pluralism]pluralism by The Free Dictionary”>Pluralism - definition of pluralism by The Free Dictionary)</p>