Neighbors defend bullying of ASD Teen

<p>In middle school my DD had a special needs kid who became a bit obsessed with her. Followed her everywhere, sat in her seat in the cafeteria, etc. She tried to be kind, but he was not capable of interacting with her in a positive way. She was not afraid of him, but was concerned. The school intervened many times, although not particularly effectively, since the behavior did not stop. Eventually it escalated to the point that he hit her during an art class. Not hard, not maliciously, but likely in a frustration with his inability to interact appropriately. After he hit her the school suspended him and took him out of any class she was in and redid his schedule so their paths did not intersect in the hall. That finally did the trick. I think the schools can help with these kids that have difficulty fitting into the mainstream, but it takes effort, a caring attitude and money, which are all in short supply in some systems.</p>

<p>While there are some special needs kids that shouldn’t be main streamed others do quite well. I just get the feeling there are parents out there that believe their “snow flakes” shouldn’t have to be around ANY special needs kids. I find that kind of thinking really disturbing.</p>

<p>MichiganGeorgia, you are absolutely correct. And the those snowflakes can turn into snow balls direct at those kids if the school is not providing the support and keeping their eyes out for these things. it’s not just he parents “out there”, but their kids sitting right next to these kids, and the school staff and teachers that should be doing what they can and should be doing to make this work. Too often, this doesn’t happen. I know a number, used to know many, parents fooling themselves that their kids were well mainstreamed. They were not. I would have pulled my kid out in an instant had I seen a typical day in those cases. I did pull my kids out, in part, because there just wasn’t the time allocated to them in terms of education and other skills needed, and what a difference it made in terms of academic advancement. Now most of my kids are grown, and I can see where various mainstreamed kids ended up and the picture is not pretty. None of them are gainfully employed. NONE. I checked out each and every one that we knew in a large school district, mainstreamed programd from the late 80s and early 90s and some of those kids are now in jail or dead. Far more than the average stats for those kids form that district.</p>

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<p>Indeed. In fact, I am quite disturbed the discussion has focused away from Levi Null’s situation. Especially considering the parents defending the bullying have admitted to approving despicable behaviors like cold-cocking Levi Null. </p>

<p>I don’t know about you, but such behavior in my old NYC neighborhood would have been considered morally repugnant and a sign of extreme cowardice among most elementary/junior high classmates and neighborhood fathers. </p>

<p>The one who was a former Marine Corps drill sergeant and Vietnam vet would be loudly lecturing his son and subject him to PT in the neighborhood park after mandating a public apology* from his son to the victim and his parent(s). </p>

<p>When I fought back with my bullies, i waited for the first punch to be swung and faced my bully head on before fighting back. What I did was considered a honest respectable way of defending oneself and fighting back. </p>

<p>What that bully did with parental approval would have been considered unjustified under any circumstances. </p>

<p>There’s also failure to consider the strong possibility that the parents of the bullies have an interest in making themselves/their kids look like victims of the actual bullied victim and apparent exceedingly low expectations of learning how to tolerate/handle weird behaviors from others…even if irritating short of fighting words or violent actions. </p>

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<li>He did precisely that when we were in third grade because his son caused a minor disturbance in the class far less than what Levi Null was subjected to…</li>
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<p>The shame of all of this is that the situation has degenerated to this point. Levi did not just join the class/school. The video was not the first harassment issue. Clearly, the parents, students and teachers, staff at the school do not want this child there. What is being done to maintain a civilized, safe environment for that young man? How can anyone think this child is in a safe place at that school? The comments are despicable. The thing that is frightening to me is that there are a lot of Levis out there and here having to go through this misery, and no focus is being made to keep kids safe at school. </p>

<p>I believe that the reason that the parents, teacher, kids, staff are not being so horrified and upset about this is that they want the kid out of the classroom, away from the kids with whom he is mainstreamed. Instead of working together to help make this a better situation, they have gone to sheer meanness. I am hoping that the publicity this is getting will shame the school district and all those involved into addressing this matter and changing behavior.</p>

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<p>I’m thinking the level of depravity of those bullying approving parents, kids, and educators/admins are such that only serious Federal EEOC/ADA legal sanctions and a successful private lawsuit which seriously dents them in their pocketbooks will communicate the wrongness of their actions loud and clear.</p>

<p>I thiink media attention would do the same. I had kids in school at the time that a very long and hard fought lawsuit was decided in favor of mainstreaming. These kids with special needs were absolutely not wanted in the public schools, and it was a long pain process to have them admitted. And they still are not in most districts. In our district, they were maintreamed by being sent all to one school, which didn’t seem like true mainstreaming to me. They did that so that the classes many such kids needed and support staff could be consolidated at the one school except there wasn’t much there, given the need. </p>

<p>I have to believe that many of the parents of those children had no other alternative for them, because it did not serve them well. Though the cruelty that young Levi underwent did not occur, those kids where not wanted by most people at the school, parents of the other kids, the other kids, the teachers, and the administrators. I was at the school a lot, and it was not a good situation for those kids who were the neediest of all, and getting even less attention than they would have in a segregated setting. I was appalled. I was also not happy that because there were insufficent resources to address those kids needs, a lot of time and attention was taken away from the other kids, including mine. My one son was constantly paired with a handicapped child because he did not complain or refuse. When he asked me why this was happening as he wanted to be paired or work with some of his friends, I had to intervene, and was told by the teacher that none of the other kids wanted to work with the kid either so my son was all that was left whose parent or the child had not protested. This was in a class of about 25 kids. Very sad. And I had joined the mob, last, but joined it when I complained. THere were many programs that were put together to try to integrate the kids and teach compassion and none of them worked.</p>

<p>What was even more appalling was that the parents of some of those handicapped kids felt it was working and would applaud the situation. They were truly happy to have their kids out of a special school setting and in the district. A lot of people fooling themselves. I frankly do not believe this sort of integration works for very many students, but states love it as it has saved them a lot of money. My state was one that spent so little per student and prior to the mainstreaming, those kids with special needs were getting 4:1 ratio and all sort of special directed atteniton, but yes, they were in a segregated setting. If I had such a child, I would have much preferred that setting, and those I knew who were keeping closest tabs on their kids, removed their children from the mainstreamed public schools homeschooled them or found private special ed schools for them. The end result in terms of where these kids are in aiduthood is probably the same either way, but the journey was far more pleasant for the handicapped kids when they were in their own schools. </p>

<p>It took federal troops to force racial integration in schools that did not want those children who were capable of learning the materials in step with their classmates. How justified it is to put children in a grade level that they cannot possible attain the knowledge and impede everyone else in the class is questionable at best. This is an impasse to which I see no solution until the parents of these children can come to some understanding as to what is best for their kids.</p>

<p>The bullying is another issue that needs to be addressed regardless of who and why it is being done and should not be tolerated. That’s been an issue since the beginning of time and if we are going to stamp it out, it;s going to have have a hard, swift kick to transgressors, not a bunch of lip service.</p>

<p>What’s troubling me a little about this discussion is that, while I agree that there are kids who absolutely should not be mainstreamed, some of these posts seem don’t seem to me to be distinguishing enough between cases in which the other students and parents are rightly concerned about safety or classroom disruption and cases in which students and parents just don’t want to have to put up with a difficult child. Cptofthehouse, you don’t mention, for instance, why kids didn’t want to be paired with the handicapped child in your son’s class - in this case, perhaps it was an issue of a student who could be violent or disruptive in a way that was totally not conducive to learning, but I can think of a lot of other cases in which a classroom full of kids simply wouldn’t want to be partnered with a kid they considered “weird” or “stupid.” In the former instance, it is the school’s responsibility to remove the student, but in the latter, we can’t allow the cruelty of children to dictate the academic options offered to a disabled child.</p>

<p>I don’t assume anyone on here actually disagrees with this point, but I think it is important to be clear about the parameters of the discussion, especially since, from the articles I’ve read, it isn’t obvious to me which category Levi Null falls into.</p>

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<p>Agreed. Another is the casual assumption that all students like Levi are incapable of succeeding in mainstream academic environments.</p>

<p>Considering there were classmates at my urban public magnet with autism/aspergers who graduated with flying colors and ended up being successful alums, I’m getting the impression it’s more parents/kids being unable to tolerate weird quirky and sometimes obnoxious behaviors. </p>

<p>Something I find odd as most parents and teachers in my Catholic elementary school from first grade onwards EXPECTED us to respect and deal with such weird quirky and sometimes obnoxious behaviors in a respectful manner without resorting to whining…much less bullying. </p>

<p>Especially the despicable cowardly cold-cocking of another student. This is inexcusable and to find the perpetrator’s parent leaves me feeling quite livid at the moral depraved example he’s setting for his son and other children.</p>

<p>Your Catholic elementary school, then was one that did not screen out kids with more than a slight LD or other issue. The ones here would not take any child who needed special support.</p>

<p>Definition of success can vary. I know many adults who are successful by just about all definitions in terms of academics, but they were abused, harassed and terrorized by bullies. It’s the quality of life too. Lecvi may well be getting the academic just fine, but clearly the treatment he has been getting is not acceptable to most of us. It’s barbaric, painful, inhumane and borders on crimial. The school should be hit hard for permitting this sort of thing–it’s on tape that staff and teachers ignored taunts and bullying of this kid. On tape! ALso the idea that it’s acceptable to put a child in an environment where he is so badly treated and despised makes my chest hurt. Even if he is advancing academicallly. As a parent, I would not have him there unless I had no other recourse, and I believe that may be the case for his family. </p>

<p>My observation has been that a handicapped child in the classroom, when the handicap is mental, cognitive, behavioral and not under control or with good support, means that everyone in that classroom gets less, a lot less of directed instruction since that sort of problem distracts and eats up time. Bullying and bad behavior from anyone is an issue , and that needs to be addressed too. This school clearly does not care about the latter. No idea whether the former is there, but it appears from the comments and intense dislike, that the kid is not just sitting there quietly. The transgressors should be disciplined, which I believe has been done, though not to what I would expect, nor has it been done. A meeting needs to be held with the issues directly addressed and those who do bullying, harassment or are otherwise mean to the child or anyone, should have some dire consequences to get this under control. Some protection at this point needs to be given to the child as well ,since the feelings about him are outright dangerous to him. Who would want to put this vulnerable chiild without a bodyguard in such a setting? School district needs to ante up for the kid and look at discipline and behavior issues throughout the school. To let thing degenerate to this point means lax and inadequate attention to such things. Assault charges should be filed against that child in juvenile court that cold cocked Levi. Seems like the parent can attest to it, can’t it. I agree that it needs to be addressed. </p>

<p>I’m upset when I read these things and see how far this can go with special needs kids, as I saw the signs. It’s equally distressing that this behavior is still going on at schools despite the campaigns to quell it, and that’s towards ANY student, not just ones with special needs. That a more vulnerable child without the normal wherewithal and defenses gets so abused give one a good insight as to how “Lord of the Flies” the school scenes still are and how inadequate the supervision is. In this case, also how apathetic and incompetent the school employees are. It’s also sad as to how so many in the general population still condone this behavior.</p>

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<p>How true this is. No, children shouldn’t be mainstreamed if they are violent, incapable of learning, or don’t have the support they need. However, in Levi’s case, no one alleged that he had been violent or was incapable of learning. The people on the video didn’t show any compassion toward Levi, nor did they express concern for the level of support he was getting from the school. No, what we have here is: 1) a school that found that students who filmed Levi at school, then posted the video online to mock him, were not bullying him, 2) a student who punched and/or knocked out Levi for calling him a name, with the approval of his family, who presumably knew that Levi had Asperger’s, and 3) a father who said Levi brought most bullying on himself. Two boys, to their credit, realized how their actions had hurt Levi and apologized, so it must have been pretty obvious that Levi was being bullied.</p>

<p>My son has Asperger’s and was occasionally bullied in school by a few boys because of his repetitive movements, repeated statements, and extreme social awkwardness. Fortunately, the teachers, administration, and most of the other students had his back. If they hadn’t, I shudder to think how things would have been. By the way, my son is in college and two of the bullies have spent time in jail.</p>

<p>That Levi was so harassed, and the school has been seen on video not to intervene during epsiodes is a horrible problem that should be addressed, regardless of what Levi’s issues are. That he has some learning or behaviorial issues is not even the point here, but yes, it’s something that families who have children who are not as able to care for them selves and are bully targets need to be aware of, as many kids just are not able to defend themselves or will not speak up about what is happening. So those are two separate issues, IMO. </p>

<p>To me it is terrifying that this poor child is sent somewhere that he is so despised and terrorized without the authority figures who should be providing protection failing to do so. I shudder at how it must be for this kid. That the atmosphere and situation of the school, the attitudes of the parents of the students are the way they are scares me. Wouldn’t want my kids there even if they were not part of the bullying or bullied. It’s too ugly.</p>

<p>IMO, the focus of responsibility for the bullying against Levi and other students with ASD needs to fall squarely on the-at best, non-existent leadership and supervision exercised by the principal and teachers/staff, the students involved in the bullying, and especially parents who condoned that bullying……including those who felt Levi bore ANY responsibility for “bringing on his bullying”. </p>

<p>That line of argument is complete BS and is not only bullying in itself, it exhibits a disturbing level of exceedingly low behavioral expectations for children much older than elementary school. </p>

<p>If elementary school kids like myself and other kids had parents and teachers who EXPECTED us to behave respectfully towards students with quirky idiosyncrasies…even if obnoxious or else face consequences of school penalties and parental discipline, it should definitely be expected for older children in middle school.</p>

<p>^^ I think there is a huge difference between “quirky idiosyncrasies” and behavior that would prevent a student from being able to mainstream. In our district it would take much more than “quirky idiosyncrasies” to bring a student out of the mainstream setting and place them in the alt ed setting. Disruptive behavior or a lack of ability to function as a member of the group in the classroom setting and aggression are different than quirky idiosyncrasies. And tolerance for others’ differences needs to begin in the early elementary years, I fear that by high school it is too late.</p>

<p>NO bullying should be tolerated towards ANY child. It is the job of a school to make sure this is not taking place on their grounds while the children are in their care. Harassment, taunting, meanspiritedness should all be things that the child care folks should we watching for, and should intervene when it is happening Not being done. Has noting to do with Levi’s being on the spectrum, how hes’ behaved etc. That is a whole other issue that may have to be addressed as well, and the way I did approach this thread, I put the cart before the horse. It does anger me to see a vulnerable kid, clearly more vulnerable than most right up front being thrown into the lion’s den with no proteciton, no monitoring so that it came to this. But the the bullying in itself is an issue here, a big one.</p>

<p>I have read through half the posts on here and have mixed feelings. My nephew has Aspergers and has been bullied most of his life. I love him so much and he just wants to be accepted. Other kids would see his behavior as immature and aggravating because, socially, he was so much further behind his peers from middle school on. He is a senior now and while socially challenged, a very kind person. He has found his place in ROTC, and is generally happy. He still wants a girlfriend and I am sure wishes he had more friends but is much more content now than when he was younger and kids were more cruel (middle school). He has always been very big for his age and I believe around 6th or 7th grade there were a group of 3 girls that would taunt him and poke at him etc … One day he struck back and ended up hitting one of the girls in the face. It was not intentional, I believe he was swinging his arms trying to get them away from him and get his bookbag back. Anyway, the bus drive pulls the bus over and my sister was called to come and pick him up. This was after months of complaints being filed on the harassing behavior towards him on the bus. My nephew was kicked off the bus for the rest of the year. My heart breaks for parents with mentally challenged children! I know how hard it is for them because I have had to try to be there for my sister through it all (1000 miles away). It is so hard to understand if you arent living it though. </p>

<p>But when my daughter was in 7th grade (now a freshman in college) she was being “stalked” by a boy in her class. I did not find out about it until months later. I was at a bbq and one of the teachers at the school casually mentioned something about this boy finally being kicked out of school and how relieved I must be. Needless to say I was outraged that not a single person in the school bothered to tell me that my daughter was in possible danger by a boy who had already been kicked out of 2 other schools for similar behavior. Obsession and violence with 3 other girls who resembled my daughter (pretty, tall, thin, blonde etc…) He was escorted at all times by an adult and had his own bus to and from school. He was never left alone. Until one day he was by mistake. I still have no idea what happened exactly, but he tracked my daughter down and was staring at her through a window unnoticed for awhile. Finally someone must have noticed him missing and tracked him down but he was found with a notebook of pictures and things written down about her and some others talking about killing and raping etc … he was removed from the school. I dont know who he is, and I often wonder if he is still around. I am actually happy now that I didnt know about the situation at the time or I am not sure what I would have done. BUT at the time, when I first found out, I was outraged that no one told me a thing about it. I was told that the school administration told the teachers that it was not to be discussed with anyone outside of school. The teacher who accidentally told me begged me not to say anything and I never did because she promised she would tell me if he ended up back at the school. </p>

<p>I am normally very sensitive to children who suffer from mental illnesses and I try to teach my kids empathy and to treat everyone with kindness, but things like this can be scary too. It did not stop my daughter from being kind to others and out of all the awards and honors she received in high school the thing that made me the proudest was a facebook message I read on her wall around the end of her senior year from a girl saying " Thank you for always saying hello to me in the morning while walking through the auditorium. No one else ever noticed me or talked to me but you always smiled at me and said hello. It always made my day a little better" </p>

<p>I cried when I read that and I have never felt prouder of anything any of my children have accomplished. </p>

<p>We have to teach our children to treat people with the same kindness and empathy they would want shown to their brother or sister if they were mentally challenged. It all starts at home. </p>

<p>As for the teachers, bus drivers and administrators who dont stop it or pretend not to notice … SHAME ON THEM!!! I hope karma doesnt come back and give them a mentally challenged child or grandchild one day who they have to watch suffer the consequences of mean spirited children and teachers!!!</p>

<p>tlcmommi4 – What a wonderful daughter you have. It is obvious that she has had a good role model.</p>

<p>aww thank you Marsian!! I try! Lord knows I make mistakes, but I try to do my best.</p>