<p>Here's an article about neighbors and parents defending bullying of ASD teen:</p>
<p>TEEN</a> BULLIED: Neighbors Say Bullying Justified | WHOTV.com</p>
<p>I find the parents' comments despicable and disturbing and understand how their kids became the bullies they are. </p>
<p>I am also disturbed the principal's statement effectively offloads his/his administration's responsibility completely on the kids. Even if there's some truth to it, way to demonstrate good leadership....not!</p>
<p>Have the victim’s parents lawyered up?</p>
<p>UCB,</p>
<p>Unknown from the reports. I would hope so considering the harassment has seemed to escalate to include his mother as well along with the school principal and board’s tendency to avoid any responsibility for bullying or even upholding their own state’s guidelines on bullying. </p>
<p>The way they’re going about it, it seems they’re doing their best to avoid doing their jobs. Worse, their avoidance of responsibility is reminiscent of my junior high school’s admins/teachers attitudes towards bullying and worse…defending the bullies.</p>
<p>My kid went through some bullying which thankfully was stopped asap but yes, was surprised at the parenting decisions used in raising these kids, apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!</p>
<p>It’s ignorance, at least in part. These classmates and their parents do not understand the boy’s condition. As for the relative of the boy who punched Levi for calling him a name: shame. No one should ever be condoning the use of violence as a response, in children or adults.</p>
<p>In retrospect, I realize now that there were some kids in school who tried to bully me in small ways, but I was oblivious and they gave up…</p>
<p>The father of one of the bullies was/is likely a bully himself. I’m glad that more parents and children are willing to bring these bullying incidents to the public’s attention. If public awareness could help to make cigarette smoking unpopular, maybe it can help to make standing up against bullying popular.</p>
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<p>Unfortunately, that is often the only way to get a bully to stop. Unfortunately, that also usually results in the victim being punished worse than the bully.</p>
<p>This whole situation is a terrible one. Hopefully, the police, school, community, family can sit down and come up with some solutions. I do not condone any mean, hurtful things done to the young man and family. I want to tell you about a situation that is somewhat similar.</p>
<p>When my kids were in k-12, a young man in the the elemenatry school was behaviourally challenged. He was a “coke baby” and had a number of problems. He was also a big strong guy who resorted to violence. He had hurt any number of kids and due to his disability, which was real, and duly noted, he was not kicked out of a school. I believe the district did try to have his put into other placement a failed a number of times. The school district and the parents of this young man did not have safeguards in place so that he was not likely to hurt others, and so he did every so often, but just not badly enough to get him placed elsewhere.</p>
<p>He attacked the teacher one year, and my son took him off the teacher, held his arms back and broke them because the young man would not stop struggling to get lose, so enraged he was. There was all kinds of toruble from this, but the end result was the kid was back in the classroom with no one to make sure he did not do the same. Back with my kid who brok his arms and the kid was threatening to kill. Yes, the kid had issues, yes, he could not help himself, yes, he was entitled to the least restricted environement. The school would not hire a security guard to be right near the kid. Two years later, he broke a principal’s jaw and it took that to have him removed from the public school system, and then a few years after that, he and some others beat a kid into a coma, and so he was convicted of assault and jailed for that. </p>
<p>The community reaction to this was not kindly and IMO for good reason. The kid was dangerous and no one would do anything. It was a primary reason for me to remove my kids from the public schools at great cost to us. Our public elementary school housed the huge district’s kids who had behaviorial issues, had them mainstream as much as possible, but did not have guards on the ready to stop some of these kids when they got physical. One kid was stabbed with scissors and countless also physically assailed by these children who had problems in this way. It created a vicous circle in that some kids would incite these kids with these problems as well, and who knows where the circle begins? The kid starting the trouble often would not be the one who got the brunt of the reaction either. The scissors incident, for example, was a the result of an explosion towards the nearest child who had not said or had anything to do with any comments to the the assailant, who had been teased by some others. </p>
<p>So what to do, when a child or individual has proven himself to be physically dangerous to others? If a kid would stab another with scissors, and you now because he’s done it. That he will put his hand through a window because he’s done it. That’ he’ll jump a kid, because he’s done it. IMO that kid is too dangerous to be let out among others without someone right there who is physically able to stop him from hurting others. That is really the bottom line of it . But communities, schools, parents will not pay for that protection. The protection is necessary to protect both all those around such a person with such problems and the that problem person himself, as yes, such people are subject to cruelties from other. Just as one who cannot walk needs a wheelchair so do those who are prone to violent attacks to self ,to others and from others need a body guard.</p>
<p>cptofthehouse, my D had a similar problem in 6th grade with a behaviorally challenged boy. He was hitting her and kicking her on multiple occasions, and although teachers witnessed it, and the boy would be talked to, he was never suspended or removed from class because he had an IEP and parents who were lawyered up. It was not until I went to the school and made it clear that I too could cause them trouble that my D was protected and the boy suspended (although only for a few days). This boy wasn’t huge and he wasn’t as violent as the boy you describe, but he was a problem in the making and he was mainstreamed with other kids who were brought up not to hit and kick him back when he did something to them (although my tiny D was his main target, probably because her best shot wouldn’t have hurt him in the least). </p>
<p>To be honest, if other kids had bullied this kid, I wouldn’t have gotten too worked up about it. I’m opposed to bullying, but sometimes people really do reap what they sow, and it’s hard for kids (and even adults) to understand the complex reasons behind someone’s behavior. It sounds like there was a little of this attitude involved with the neighbors who defended the bullying of the boy mentioned in the OP.</p>
<p>The problem is that suspension of such kids who truly cannot help loss of control is not going to help the matter much. In our situation, the two broken arms made more of an impact on the kid than an suspension would have. By the time he was out of the casts, he had forgotten who had done it to him, or was no longer thinking about it. The problem in that case, was that the kid could seriously hurt someone (in fact, he did ), himself (did that as well) and could even kill someone. With that such a real possibility, it was madness to have him in a general classroom without a guard who was strong enough to physically restrain him if necessary. Since that was not going to happen, and there were a number of other such kids in the school, I put my kids in private school. I was not about to have their safety threatened by something that was a real possibility. </p>
<p>I was absolutely upset about other kids bullying this kid because it make the kid dangerous. I think most cases of his eruptions did have some instigation in the picture, but the cause often was not what got the brunt of rage. But the school, teacher, kids could not prevent that bullying, teasing , whatever either, clearly. The kid himself was not the only one who got hurt from those consequences. So, yes, i am completely against the bullying regardless, but that could not be prevented either, so the danger remained and to those who had no part in the instigation.</p>
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<p>Yet your post suggests that you believe you understand the boys behavior as malicious and intentional. If its due to his disability he didnt “sow” anything. </p>
<p>Im bothered by anyone who gets bullied. Its never justified.</p>
<p>"Im bothered by anyone who gets bullied. Its never justified. "</p>
<p>I agree with this fully. Bullying is a problem that families, communities, schools, teachers, etc all need to monitor and minimize and eliminate as much as possible. But it happens. What to do if your kid is the one being bullied? That is a question many, many distressed parents are asking in tears, in desperation, in agony. The answer is that stopping it is often not possible. I would remove my kid from such a situation that does not look like it is coming to any resolution, but then I have, had the means to do so. If I did not, what then to do? Many parents are so caught.</p>
<p>In the case of a child with emotional, mental and behaviorial handicaps that make him abusive to others, the problem is not just that he is being bullied, but that he is also bullying, maybe he’s even truly dangerous to himself and others. There is a point when it becomes clear that a school or whatever environment is not going to protect that child or others from that child. Both things are important. But what is a parent to do when no solutions are offered? Can’t keep the kid home if the parent works full time. The laws that ordered mainstreaming have gotten rid of many of the classes and schools where such a child could be kept safer from bullying and from hurting others. Trying to get a kid into what programs are left is an upward court battle as the districts have to pay to do this, and often those environments could be worse than the public school. So we have an impasse here. </p>
<p>What it comes down to, is that each parent has to do what he can to protect his own kid, and work with the school to maximize this. But sometimes the options are just not there. Someone has to be severely hurt, killed, or some new report has make the situation go viral publicity wise. I hope that a result of the news coverage of this particular situation that is the subject of this thread, is that some true solutions are introduced.</p>
<p>“I want to tell you about a situation that is somewhat similar.”</p>
<p>@Cpt - I’m just not seeing the similarities. I didn’t see where the current kid that is being bullied is attacking teachers or that anyone thinks he is so dangerous that he may kill anyone.</p>
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<p>Go to the school and insist on the safety of your child. Escalate through the principal/superintendent if necessary. </p>
<p>My son is ASD, and we know several ASD students and parents in our community. In the 16 years I have been parent I have never heard of an incident where the ASD child instigated any kind of violence. Mostly the incidents are of social behavior…outbursts, swearing, inappropriate comments, things like that. </p>
<p>Those situations need to be dealt with, and every ASD parent understands and expects that. Often this is done using the special ed coordinator along with the Parents. If this isn’t visible to other students and parents its intentional because its not their business. </p>
<p>If anyone reading this is ever involved in these types of problems please bring it forward. The school does listen. Then please take the opportunity to teach your child about tolerance and disability. Ultimately thats the only thing that will end bullying.</p>
<p>I want to make it clear, that ANY bullying is not warrrented. What those kids did in Iowa to the that student is reprehensible, and their parents defending it is wrong. Even more sick than all of this, is that the school, the teachers, principal and others who were well aware fo this happening permitted it to occur. So this is a terrible situation.</p>
<p>What I am bringing up, however, is that there is also a problem that is often the elephant in the room, which is that some chiildren who are mainstreamed, have problems that are serious enough that some additional intervention is required. Those children, and this young man, Levi, is one of them, requires more supervision than being allowed to just be in the classroom with other kids and bothering them in a way that is leading to hostile situations. Clearly the teachers there are not able to handle this as they have no idea when this circle of abuse begins. Is this child doing things that are detrimental, destructive to others? Clearly, the other kids are doing these things to him, and there is not sufficient intervention here. That kid needs a one on one aid to protect himself from those other kids, and also to address behaviors that may be harming others. What this kid is doing that makes the other kids pick on him and go so far, makes the parents say he deserves it, and more shockingly is ignored by teachers and staff has to be addressed as it as dangerous to the kid in the future as the bullying from the other kids.</p>
<p>My guess is that the school does not have the funds to bring in someone to be a personal aid to mitigate the situation,so they are ignoring it, which has led to this bonfire of abuse. I’m glad that it had reached this proportion, because now we have it all out here in the open. What is the problem here? it is clearly not to be tolerated. The school is being stupid and irresponsible here. What can the parent of the kid do or have done to protect him? it has reached a point where whatever the reason, the kid has been turned into a pariah of sorts so that he is in danger, a lot of danger and a lot of people think it’s justified. That’s a horrible situation that needs to be addressed. Why has it degenerated to this level? What specifically has happened? Why are the teachers looking the other way? </p>
<p>Not enough info from the short article. The comments from some of those parents are truly galling. The reason I said the situation was similar, is that up until the kid attacked the teacher, I don’t think parents in that class knew of his history. Some of us who had been there a while did, and had gotten nowhere in getting safeguards in place, and each year he got bigger and stronger. The school had to know that kids were teasing that kid, as well. Schools do not take anywhere enough heed about bullying as it happens and deal with it, and get the protection for the kid who is getting taunted, teased, bullied.</p>
<p>Mainstreaming children with special needs is much harder than people acknowledge. It can be hard for the child with LD and for the classmates. In kindergarten, one of DD’s classmates was virtually non-verbal and a biter. Even with an assigned aide, she managed to find opportunities to bite. It was her goal as it caused such a huge reaction. Just think of how that made kindergarten for other children and affected their attitudes towards children with special needs. I’ve never forgotten my worries.</p>
<p>Mainstreaming can work to make us all more tolerant, or it can work against acceptance if it is not done carefully.</p>
<p>It is difficult to comment on the specific article, but I tend to agree with some of cpt’s comments. Mainstreaming works when a child is capable of being in the “mainstream”. I’ve seen it work through the years at my kids’ schools and I know there are times when it will not and cannot work. It would be extremely difficult for a parent of a child who is incapable of being “mainstream” to absorb that outcome. My son was “bothered” by a boy in a middle school class who had issues with impulse control, reacting physically, and they ultimately were able to bring an adult into the classroom to sit with the young boy to prevent him from bothering the other kids around him, but I noticed within a year or so he was at the alt ed building.</p>
<p>Mainstreaming works well only when it is supported by the other children, teachers and admiinstrators at the school. That enough parents of the kids, the parent of the mainstreamed, that the situation is supported can make a big difference, but the fact of the matter is that day in, day out, every minute, the child is surrounded by his peers and staff. That they don’t want him there and are making it difficult for him, is a huge detriment. I’ve seen parents force the issue, stick their kids literally into a lions’den, those poor kids already challenged due to their specific issues, and the parent is not there to see what is happening on a day to day, minute to minute basis. I spent a lot of time at my kids’ schools, and I can tell right out that nearly all of the mentally, behaviorally challenged children I saw mainstreamed were not well served. I’d have pulled them out and found something else for them. Heck, I ended up pulling my own kids out as I could see that the time being spent on things other than academics and to their benefits was not up to what I wanted, and I could get better through private options. That many, or maybe most of those families could not do better is the shame. </p>
<p>My oldest was in elementary school when our state where we then lived lost a major lawsuit that forced mainstreaming. The result was not good IMO. Prior to that, in our area there had been a special ed school where the ratio was 1:4 for those kids who qualifed to go there, and the environment far more gentle. Those kids were stuck into classroom with as many as 30 kids (one of my accomplishments at the huge local public elemenary school was to get class size capped at 30 for grades 4, 5 and at 26 for K-3, there was no cap before that) I don’t know of any kids who were well served by that mainstreaming. That there were, I’m sure, but I did not see it. For those kid who were mentally able to do the class work and were able to handle being around other kids their age without, it would work. Some of those kids did not belong in special classrooms and the schools were directly inviolation of ADA mandates by not having their physical needs met, when they could handle the classroom instruction and get the academics from it, once those accommodations were made. But for some kids, a 1 to 1 aide had to be installed for this to happen, and that was rarely provided. </p>
<p>In this particular case, an 1 to 1 aide, as well as direct attention to the sitaution from teachers and admiinistrator were very much needed, and not given. The situation was alllowed to degenerate to this level. Was the child an innocent, baited by mailcious, nasty kids who just got it in their head to taunt him? Unfortunately, entirely possible. It could well be that even if he did not meet handicapped status, he could have been bully bait. Which says that those teachers and those at the school are really incompetent, not seeing that situation and actively interveing. And I would not be surprised; I’m sad, but not surprised, if that were the case. But there is also the case when the child just could not be accommodated, but could not be moved and he was a problem to all around him, in classroom and out, to the point that others were striking back to get him out of there. Again, this is wrong, not the way to do things, but what to do when a child in a classroom is making it so that the teaching/learning flow is terribly disrupted and the child is causing a lot of issues so that a lot of those kids are being hurt, upset, angry and frustrated by that child, and nothing is being done. Again, what is the school doing when the stituation has degenerated so? Here, clearly not enough. All of those kids needed help in how to deal with the child, and how not to behave, and protection for that child needed to be introduced and maintained. My understanding is that the videos the kids made, teachers and staff did little or nothing, ignored the taunts, the harassment and other nasty things happening. Shame on the school, teachers, staff, students and parents alike to let it get that far.</p>
<p>I also want to address the fact that in the settings I have seen, kids that need extra attention and exceptons are not welcomed by the parents of the classmates. Most all kids have needs and issues, and parents fight for their kids to have them best addressed. A special needs child in the mix, often means less attention, more complications especially when the school does little or not enough to address that child’s extra needs and does not help and direct the other children in how to work with that situation so it could become a learning experience for all. Note I say “could”. Sometimes it does not work out that way and the fit is just too bad for it work out. But a concerted effort should be made, instead of just sticking the kid in there and then letting things degenerate as this school did.</p>
<p>The private schools my kids attended did not have these bullying issues. But they also screened the kids, not to keep the bullies out, (oh yes they were there), but to keep out those kids whose behavior and abilities were not up to a certain level. That took care of any such problem as this. Again, I was there enough to look for these sort of things when my kids were in school.</p>
<p>^^I, too, am not a fan of mainstreaming. Perhaps it works in some larger systems but our little district is full of advanced kids who for the most part have laser focus. My son’s biggest beef wasn’t that the special kid couldn’t keep his hands to himself or his mouth closed, but that he was a “distraction or annoyance” when my son was trying to pay attention…and this was middle school. I never intervened but I heard about it constantly that semester from my son. In our district the needs kids go to a different building, but “mainstream” in the library, the lunch room, phys ed classes etc. There are parapros in the alt ed classrooms and they are much more able to work with the special needs kids than the teachers in the middle and high school classes who have a room full of kids with no assistance. Some kids an mainstream and it works for everyone. Others just simply aren’t able to assimilate in a manner that is not detrimental. It can be sad, but it is what it is.</p>
<p>Our DD was placed out of district beginning in 6th grade, at considerable expense to the district (and our taxpayers).
It was the right decision as there was NO appropriate in district placement for her.
We had safety concerns for her if she were mainstreamed in our very large middle school.
Our DD is kind and empathetic, never violent.
BUT she is overly verbal, overly focused on other people’s work and could cause major disruption in a classroom.</p>
<p>The $$$ involved to deliver FAPE in least restrictive environment are high.
NO excuse though for schools to allow bullying!</p>