I wrote an essay for the new ACT prompt and I would appreciate if someone reads it and gives me feedback on how I did and what I should improve in. This is my first ACT essay. Thank You.
Prompt:
Intelligent Machines
Many of the goods and services we depend on daily are now supplied by intelligent, automated
machines rather than human beings. Robots build cars and other goods on assembly lines, where once
there were human workers. Many of our phone conversations are now conducted not with people but
with sophisticated technologies. We can now buy goods at a variety of stores without the help of a
human cashier. Automation is generally seen as a sign of progress, but what is lost when we replace
humans with machines? Given the accelerating variety and prevalence of intelligent machines, it is
worth examining the implications and meaning of their presence in our lives.
Read and carefully consider these perspectives. Each suggests a particular way of thinking about the
increasing presence of intelligent machines.
Perspective One :
What we lose with the
replacement of people
by machines is some part
of our own humanity.
Even our mundane
daily encounters no
longer require from us
basic courtesy, respect,
and tolerance for other
people.
Perspective Two:
Machines are good at
low-skill, repetitive
jobs, and at high-speed,
extremely precise jobs.
In both cases they work
better than humans.
This effciency leads to
a more prosperous and
progressive world for
everyone.
Perspective Three:
Intelligent machines
challenge our
long-standing ideas
about what humans are
or can be. This is good
because it pushes both
humans and machines
toward new, unimagined
possibilities.
Essay Task
Write a uni ed, coherent essay in which you evaluate multiple perspectives on the
increasing presence of intelligent machines. In your essay, be sure to:
• analyze and evaluate the perspectives given
• state and develop your own perspective on the issue
• explain the relationship between your perspective and those given
Your perspective may be in full agreement with any of the others, in partial
agreement, or wholly different. Whatever the case, support your ideas with logical
reasoning and detailed, persuasive examples
My Essay:
Some part of our humanity is lost when machines replace people. Not only do machines lessen the need for human labor, but also lessen people's value in the society. Machines had started to replace humans since the beginning of the industrial revolution and still continues today.
During the industrial revolution Henry Ford had created a contraption, the car, which carried people from one place to another. The car was affordable, so almost everyone had one and all the coachmen who rode the horse drawn carriages were out of a job, because people could provide their own transportation. As innovation of technology increased the men hired to work in the car assembly line had soon lost their jobs to the machines as well. These machines took over and did the same job as the men did but much faster. Then every other product varying from toothpaste to airplane parts were and are done by machines, not people. No humans were needed to do these jobs thus reducing our value to our society, because we humans are not needed any more.
Few years back most surgeries were done by highly professional and well educated doctors. Today, however, even the most complicated surgery such as an open heart surgery is done by a robot. Many doctors would lose their jobs because the society would not need many doctors. Only the best doctors would stay to just push buttons and let the machines do the miracle of saving a life in half of the time it took for a hands on operation.
Machines are taking over our life. We depend on them daily, even for mundane tasks such as traveling, checking mail, and more. Even though they are efficient and helpful, they have taken away our jobs. By taking away our jobs, we would have less money to buy daily necessities. They have taken our role in society and continue to push us out of our own society.
Thank you!