<p>child was placed in a single as a freshman. Is shy to begin with. I feel like he/she may be on an island. Any suggestions? Very worried.</p>
<p>If the student does not want a single, he/she may want to contact the college’s housing department. There are usually lots of people who would love to be in singles. A room change may be possible.</p>
<p>But if the student is happy with the placement, that’s fine. Many kids, particularly introverted ones, dread the thought of living in close quarters with a stranger. Having a single can provide this type of kid with a desirable island – a place to retreat to when he/she feels the need. </p>
<p>And living in a single does not necessarily make it harder to meet people. All you have to do is leave your door open, attend events in your dorm and elsewhere on campus, and eat with other people in the dining halls. You will make friends eventually.</p>
<p>One of my kids, who is a definite introvert, lived in a single as a freshman. It was great.</p>
<p>Hard to believe there are any schools where freshmen get singles. Most schools seem to be bursting at the seams.</p>
<p>My son didn’t have a single, but is at a very large school. You could check into switching to a double, but your son might enjoy the space and quiet of a single. Lots of socializing happens in the halls, lounges, and students’ rooms. By the way, I would have described my son as “shy” three years ago, but I would have been wrong!</p>
<p>i’ve had a single for my first two years and for my upcomming year as well.</p>
<p>S/he will adjust, don’t worry.</p>
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<p>At the college my daughter attended, the administration decided that all freshmen should live together, in a single dorm neighborhood, with special programming specifically intended for freshmen provided in the residential area. This was a key part of an initiative to improve the freshman experience.</p>
<p>The only dorm neighborhood large enough for the purpose happened to have several buildings that included a lot of singles.</p>
<p>Thus, quite a lot of freshmen are placed in singles – some but not all at their own request.</p>
<p>I suspect similar things have happened elsewhere.</p>
<p>My DD lived in a single freshman year (definitely did not want it); most of the rooms in the dorm were singles.</p>
<p>My suggestion: Make sure your D/S gets involved in anything and everything they are interested in to meet people. The dorm will have activities so freshmen get to know each other but I would definitely recommend going beyond that. FYI - DD chose to live in a suite with 3 other girls for sophomore year.</p>
<p>I have two former students who had singles as freshman. They liked it but for different reasons. The guy said it forced him to go out and meet people. The girl had a tough schedule (she is a nursing major) and liked the quiet. So living alone can have its advantages. My son had his own room in a four-bedroom suite the first two years. He really liked closing his door whenever he needed so he could study or sleep.</p>
<p>Do you have to pay more for a single?</p>
<p>If you’re concerned about the student making friends, sit down with your child and look at the lists of various clubs and activities on campus that might be of interest. Have the kid select several to check out - there will probably be a “club fair” or something similar where different groups have tables and you can give them your contact information. Finding others with similar interests will help form mini-communities in the larger campus.</p>
<p>Yes singles are more expensive.</p>
<p>If she can’t switch look on the bright side. I see a few possibilities:</p>
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<li><p>If she’s an introvert (not all shy people are introverts I realize), the downtime/quiet will be greatly valued AND let her recharge her social batteries, making her more able to cope with all the socializing going on in college and more able to connect with others on her own time (which will help, not hurt, her social life). </p></li>
<li><p>Having a roommate is great IF one connects with the roommate socially. But it seems hit or miss if that happens. What would be worse though than having a single would be being shy, and having a social butterfly roommate who always has friends over BUT the roommate is someone you aren’t social with. Ugh. So you get no peace and quiet but you have no social gain (and also it would be awkward). Sometimes it’s luck of the draw if you connect with your roommate and can share the social environment.</p></li>
<li><p>It might depend upon whether she’s in a single in a sea of doubles and triples, or in a dorm where there are lots of singles. In the dorms I’m familiar with that have singles, the norm is kids leave their doors open to the hallway so they all have their own space but also can readily stop by and connect with one another (though this is a Canadian context so might be different). </p></li>
<li><p>I’m sure she, with your guidance, can work out a plan for her to be just as socially connected by joining lots of clubs, making an effort to study outside her room, or whatever other things she can to to avoid island-ness.</p></li>
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<p>My D was assigned a single, too, as a freshman. We called the housing office and she was switched to a double within 10 days. It could have been worse, as many freshmen were forced to triple-up, in rooms built as doubles. I’m sure that single ended up going to someone who desperately wanted out of a triple.</p>
<p>Both my D’s had roommates that were not “friend” compatible. My older D is very quiet and shy but it forced her to look elsewhere for friendships. She had some very good friends in about 2 mos. and now has many friends. She has grown a lot and has overcome some of that shyness. For her, joining a sorority helped too. As long as your daughter is patient she will find friends. She can join clubs and if there is an orientation, that may help. My second D had even a worse roommate but was very proactive in finding friends. Sometimes having a bad roommate or a single is a better thing. Roommates that are “best buds” sometimes don’t make the effort to meet others and the first few months of first year are very important in making a connection. I kept reminding my older D that all of the freshmen are like her and are looking for friends too but the need for friendships fade as you get into spring semester. Good luck. The single may be a good thing.</p>
<p>sredfish - I understand your concern. My son will be a sophomore this fall, and he thought he wanted a single. he’s very private and pretty rigid and easily annoyed (hey, I’m just speaking the truth! ;)) He was extremely worried about sharing a room with someone, especially someone he wasn’t compatible with. He’s also very shy and I was worried about him making friends if he had a single (and I don’t think that was an option anyway). He ended up finding a compatible roommate on facebook - all the incoming freshman were posting informal surveys to find roommates, since the college didn’t really match. My son got lucky and found a roommate he is extremely compatible with but who is very friendly and outgoing. It’s been perfect - my son is part of a circle of friends that really formed around his roommate. </p>
<p>Anyway, i know that isn’t all that relevant to your daughter’s situation, but I wanted to let you know I understand your concern. It’s really important to feel like you’re part of things, and for a shy freshman,. a roommate is a built in small group to be part of. If your daughter is open to the idea, I would probably come down on the side of requesting to be placed with a roommate. If that doesn’t happen for whatever reason, things will still be fine most likely - joining clubs, groups, and study groups is a great idea. And leaving her door open a lot will help too - especially the first couple weeks. I assume she’s in a freshman dorm, and it will be filled with other excited freshmen who want to know everyone on their floor. If her door is open, people WILL stop by and start talking.</p>
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<p>Unless she’s in the last room at the end of the hall. I lived in that room as a freshman. Nobody ever stopped by.</p>
<p>Did she (secretly) ask for a single? Maybe on a form that she filled out, out of your presence? If so she wants a single. What a gift. Let her have a single if this is the case. Ask her what she wants. Don’t say “Did you ask for this single behind my back?” She will never admit it. Say “Hehehe, you asked for a single, didn’t you!” with a smile on your face. I am thinking she somehow indicated she would like a single. </p>
<p>If she is telling you she is dreading a single, then just call housing. There are likely kids dying to get a single. If so, they can change her assignment. </p>
<p>My D, as a freshman, was in a suite of two double rooms with one adjoining bath. Her roommate moved to off campus housing after two months (RM had wanted a single and did not get one. She came in with 45 hours of IB credit and got herself a single as an RA in an off-campus private dorm by saying she was a sophomore!?!). Her suitemates did not return after winter/Christmas break. By January she was alone in a suite of four at state flagship. Luckily, she had joined a sorority and was already involved in a large campus philanthropy. And she loved the quiet. She could venture out across the hall or the the lounge anytime, on her time. Then, in late February, they moved in a new roommate who was having issues with her prior roommate… Darn. D managed. Despite the fact new roommate was a night owl. A few RA conferences, sessions setting up ground rules of mutual respect and quiet hours. Obviously, they did not move this girl OUT from a problem roommate, she WAS the problem. A single is not so bad.</p>