<p>Okay so first semester is almost over, i look around me and am frustrated with my new group of friends. One has huge issues: She uses music to cope with life, sleeps through class, failing and a bit racist- she says that "white people" have it all and are privilege and dont know pain. I tell her she should not say this and that its not true. Another friend, is in remedial classes and pushes all nighters- shes my roommate. The last one is all right but she is becoming polluted by the other two. What they all have in common is that they lack purpose. They think i am uptight because i focus on my grades, dont skip class, and want to do more in life than settle for a 40k a year job after college. Theres nothing wrong with this, i just want more for myself. They all hate the school and plan on leaving after next semester. I feel bad for them and help them out with tutoring and giving them advice on relationships, but i feel like i am doing everything and not getting anything back? I feel like no one is driven anymore and if they are, they are arrogant. :( I just want a good natured, SANE, and driven group of people.</p>
<p>So my question is: Should i remain friends with them next semester since they are leaving after that? Or should i just find people who are more driven?</p>
<p>Ask yourself: why would you want to remain friends with them? Do your friendships with them provide any real mutual benefit?</p>
<p>I suggest that you surround yourself with more positive influences before dragging yourself down. In fact, one thing I noticed in my circles is that close friends tend to have very similar GPAs.</p>
<p>Okay but how do i do this? Should i just stop hanging out with them and having lunch? Its going to be hard breaking ties because one of them is my roommate and she is also friends with the other two. They are always in our room.</p>
<p>You can always continue to hang out with them AND hang out with new people. You don’t have to be with them 24/7. </p>
<p>But that is easier said than done, cause I know this semester I have spent the majority of my time with one group of people, and its hard to go from spending every day together to …well… not.</p>
<p>Totally different situation, but I “left” a group a friends spring semester my freshmen year because I joined a new activity that literally sucked up my time (and I made some new friends that I now consider to be my closest friends).</p>
<p>Remember that a new semester means new classes. Just ‘get busy’ with those classes, make new friends in them, join a club, hang out with other people. You don’t have to tell your first group of friends you don’t want to hang out with them anymore. If they invite you and you really don’t want to go with them, say you’re busy. If you’re scared of being caught up in a lie, schedule something during the exact same time.</p>
<p>I am of the opinion that unless someone does something really ******y, actually making it a point to tell them you arent friends anymore is a dick move. Just keep yourself busy with other things and let yourselves naturally grow apart. You can still be on good terms, still hang out from time to time and get along if the occasion arises-- after all, you live with one of them, thats unavoidable-- and still get the distance you feel you need and meet new people. I think you’re asking for trouble doing it any other way. You don’t have to burn bridges to distance yourself from people.</p>
<p>Okay. Knowing me, i wont have the guts to say it right to their faces. I will probably be busy next semester anyways because i play a varsity sport in the spring and it starts in january-similar to johnson’s situation. Hopefully that and classes will keep me busy. They are leaving after next semester anyways.</p>
<p>It’d actually be quite weird (and unnecessary) to just break it off in front of their faces unless being around them has a direct negative impact on your life. However, there’s no need to go there unless those people are literally hard-core criminals or something among the lines of that.</p>
<p>Otherwise, you naturally break off with someone (intentionally or not) by simply not wasting time and effort with them. For example, if I choose to hang out with someone, I usually try to hang out with the friends that are worth my time the most. There’s then a sliding scale, and by the time I get to the bottom, some low-priority personal items get on the list (eg. would be nice to get 1hr of extra sleep). However, if even that runs out, I have no problem hanging out with people who are bad influences: if you can stick around, still have fun, and be a positive influence for them, why not? It’s all good as long as you don’t let it take away from your positive influences.</p>
<p>Do you like these people? Are they fun to be around? Do you care about them?</p>
<p>It seems a littttttle bit like you want to ditch them because they aren’t as driven as you are. I mean, lots of my friends have had problems, but they’re still good PEOPLE, and I love them and wouldn’t ditch them just because they didn’t have the same idea of success as I did. </p>
<p>Hell, I’m not a very driven person. I’m kind of a slacker. My friends are hugely driven, but I don’t think that affects my friendships at all. We accept each other and everything is fine. Just because we want different things in life doesn’t mean that we can’t be friends.</p>
<p>If you don’t actually like them, that’s something else entirely and yes, you should find a new group of friends (in a tasteful way as others have mentioned).</p>
<p>UPDATE: Two of them are transfering at the end of this semester(This Week). The other one i can deal with and is okay. I am truly blessed. But i find myself missing my roommate, we actually got along amazingly in terms of living together and thats rare Hopefully i stay in my double alone.</p>
<p>BUT thanks for the help, it will be useful in futrue situations.</p>
Hopefully i stay in my double alone.</p>