<p>So I'm really not a fan of writing essays (I'm a techy person). Is anyone willing to read my personal statement and maybe give me some advice? It's 240 words right now, so I could add to it. The max is 300 words. Here it is:</p>
<p>Northwestern Statement: What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified? (300 word maximum, Due Jan 1)</p>
<p>Being a part of the math team at my high school, I was put in many situations that surrounded me with students that excel in math. Sitting at a desk, prepared to take a creative algebra test, and looking around the room at the faces that surrounded me, it became very easy to believe the common stereotype that Asian students are good at mathematics.</p>
<p>Over the years, this stereotype has evolved into the idea that Southeast Asian countries produce technology superior to that of the United States. Although I do not necessarily agree with that belief, inventions like Japanese eye-movement controlled computers and Chinese electric cars that travel 500 miles on one charge make it hard to argue with anyone that believes in these countries’ technological dominance. </p>
<p>The thought that countries should compete to be more advanced, and subsequently the idea that the US is ‘losing,’ seems a little ridiculous to me. However, I think that there are many things that I, an American student, could learn from societies that yield such brilliant and innovative minds. </p>
<p>One of the many things that make attending Northwestern University so appealing to me is that it would give me the opportunities to learn those things via the extensive study abroad program. To me, the possibility of studying at Hong Kong University of Science and Technology or the Arts and Sciences program at Sophia University in Tokyo, Japan is not only promising; it’s thrilling.</p>
<p>You write well, however, your essay does not focus on Northwestern. You need to answer the question. This essay isn’t necessarily meant to be a personal statement; that’s what the common app is for. This is supposed to tell them what about Northwestern makes it a good fit for you. In your essay, when you do finally get around to talking about NU, you focus more on international schools you could study at. Which to me doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.</p>
<p>My advice would be to cut out the personal stories and background info and get right into talking about Northwestern. You should definitely make a point to talk about the study abroad program because you’re passionate about it, but try not to make it sound like you just want to study at other schools.</p>
<p>Sorry for any harsh criticism, but:</p>
<p>Have a better, interesting 1st sentence.</p>
<p>Your first 2 paragraphs are about Asian stereotypes.</p>
<p>Your next ones are about tech in Asia and you give a hint of your thought.</p>
<p>Last paragraph kind of answers the question.</p>
<p>If I were a rep, I would think you could’ve written this in a day, maybe an hour. Why? You give nothing specific about NU. The locations you give at the end are kind of random as well since NU isn’t the only college that does that (unless theres a program I dunno about).</p>
<p>Talk about NU, talk bit bout yourself nd how u “click” with NU, nd there you have it. ( talk mostly bout NU and your interests that click with it) </p>
<p>Thanks you for the advice. I think I’m going to have to start over. Unfortunately, I feel like there isn’t a lot about NU that I love other than the location and the study abroad program. I have never been on a visit there. I don’t know where to start…</p>
<p>It doesn’t need to be something that is totally unique about that one school, but why Northwestern and not the University of Chicago or Amherst or Brigham Young University?
If you don’t really like anything about Northwestern, it does beg the question of why you are bothering to apply?</p>
<p>If by location, you mean Chicago, then you should mention that. It is missing from this short essay.<br>
Since you mention location and study abroad, I would suggest you start crafting a paragraph that speaks to why you like the Evanston/Chicago location and why you particularly like the Northwestern study abroad program more than other universities study abroad programs. You should mention what you want to study and what you have learned about the Northwestern programs in that area. Use the internet, you don’t need to have visited to learn something about the programs. </p>
<p>I would agree with the above commentators: you don’t speak once of Northwestern until your last paragraph, and then speak only of wanting to leave campus and study abroad. Of course, study abroad opportunities can be a major facet of your interest in Northwestern. However, I think you wrote the word “Northwestern” once in your entire essay. This does not demonstrate interest in what the school has to offer its students, nor do you demonstrate what YOU will bring to Northwestern. I hope you have a 36 ACT because this essay is a detriment to your application, I guarantee it.</p>
<p>Skimmed the other comments, but yes, your essay needs to pull focus onto Northwestern. You don’t want anything you say to be “reusable” in other essays–that said, make sure everything you write in your supplement is for the most part only applicable to NU. Think about your potential major and how Northwestern is the best place for you to pursue said major. Don’t solely talk about WHY you’re interested in something–talk about HOW Northwestern is going to help you accomplish said interests, and how the school will help you become a better you.</p>
<p>Explore the Northwestern website. Find some cool programs that are unique to Northwestern that you are interested in. If you talk about a specific program or class that you like, they’ll see that you’ve really done your research on the school.</p>