hey so i’m currently a freshman in college entering my 7th week and i am definitely better today than i was a month ago, when school first started. i knew all summer i did not want to leave home but i had no other choice, i live an hour away from my current university. i wanted to go to a different university but i got deferred because i didn’t have the ACT to get into the main campus. i didn’t take the deferral because i wasn’t happy, now i’m regretting that. i was never thought id go to this current university but i felt like i had no other choice because all my siblings went away for college so i feel like i’m held to their standards. over the past 7 weeks i’ve come to realize i hate being away from family and my dog. i understand that i will eventually need to grow up but i feel like i am not ready to actually go to college and be on my own. i am really close to my parents and i absolutely love having the comfort of my dog, my bed, my shower, and my town. i go home quite a bit because i hate it here, i knew i didn’t want to all summer when the thought of leaving would make me cry and want to throw up. i’m wondering if a good option for me would be to transfer to the regional campus for next semester so i can have the comfort of home and what not and experience college from that aspect and if i don’t like it i can transition into the main campus i originally wanted to attend. i just cant handle the thought of doing another semester like this, i am extremely depressed whenever i am here and i don’t want to live like this anymore, i just don’t know where to go.
Sorry to hear it @mamamiaaaa . Have you talked with anyone at your school’s counselling center? Or your dorm’s RA?Are you involved in any campus activities?
Many students take weeks and months to settle down and get used to campus life. Others find that it’s really not for them and go home. Do your parents and siblings know how you feel and are they supportive?
Yes I think the idea of the regional campus closer to home is a good one and certainly one worth pursuing if you don’t feel any better in the coming months. Why are you feeling bad about considering other options? If you are unhappy that’s exactly what you should be doing. A residential experience is not for everyone and the vast majority of students in the U.S. do in fact commute to college from home.
It’s not the end of the world to transfer at the end of the year if your current situation does not suit you. Plenty of students do exactly that. Do what makes you happy – life is too short!
i’ve talked to many people. i tried joining a sorority but that didn’t work out, i guess i’m not as good as acting as i thought i was. my whole family knows and they just tell me to get through it, they are giving me nothing but tough love.
i just worry i will be a failure in comparison to my siblings.
Transferring to a college within commuting distance of your home does not equal failure. Look into the timing of transferring and get through this semester with good enough grades to make that transfer possible. Can you enroll for the Spring semester at the college closer to home?
You say that you are only an hour away from home. That’s close enough to visit when you are feeling the need to do so.
Do you feel like you’ve given it a fair chance? Made efforts to get involved on campus through clubs and activities? I worry that you have set yourself up a little bit by dreading it all summer and also going home so often instead of staying on campus where you could be making efforts to make friends and get involved in things that would make you more a part of the community.
You could contact the housing office to see if there is a deadline for notifying them that you might be leaving. It might be useful to know if there are charges associated with leaving in December. Just in case you do end up leaving.
I’m in the same position. I’ve been at my college for three months, and I’ve had panic attack after panic attack. I go home every chance I get. I haven’t made a ton of new friends. I miss everything about home. But let me tell you…IT’S OKAY. It’s okay to miss home.
It’s also okay to transfer home…I am. Next semester I’ll be living back in my own room with my parents and pets. I experienced a lot of anxiety over telling my parents I wasn’t happy and making the decisions to come home-they’re supportive. My older brother also went away to school-he’s away at grad school now. I worried about what he would think of me. But everyone experiences things differently. Don’t worry about what others think, your well being comes first. And everyone wants what’s best for you.
I realized that being away isn’t for me. I’m mature. It doesn’t make me look bad that I’m coming home. Dorm life isn’t for everyone. I thought this school was perfect and when I got here I realized it wasn’t.
My advice? Get on the process of transferring as soon as possible. Spots for next semester fill up, and there’s some stuff you have to do that you don’t want to be worried about in the middle of finals at your current school. Know which credits transfer, and which scholarships/financial aid that you’ll lose/gain.
Take it one day at a time. I have a countdown of days till I can move out. I’m MUCH calmer and I’m not having panic attacks or getting sick near as often, and it’s because I know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. When I feel myself starting to freak out I just think “Okay but there’s only two more days till I can go home for the weekend, and only 43 more days until the end of the semester.” Take it a day at a time.
It was comforting to me to know that I’m not the only person going through this. Feel free to reach out to me–I’d love to talk to someone in the same situation!!
Best wishes!
Also be sure to keep up with the academics at your current school as they will matter for any transfer.