<p>S2 is not acting excited at this point either. He was when the big letter came. His rolling admit acceptance to a state u.came way back in Nov. so the "thrill is gone". I know he hasn't lost interest because he's on his college's Facebook site a lot, has made plans to room with a friend from his sch. and is looking forward to football season. But he rarely talks about this stuff. He does not seem stressed or worried. I think he is just living in the moment, the gloriousness of spring semster of senior year. There doesn't appear to be any stress/anxiety. I think there are so many things happening in the next couple of months to round out senior year that he's not thinking too much about August yet. I'm sure it seems eons away to him.</p>
<p>My S isn't super-excited either. He didn't seem too thrilled when any of his acceptances came in. Seemed fairly happy when he got offered scholarships, though. He's not the cartwheels/jumping-for-joy type either. </p>
<p>But I heard him talking on the phone to his friend the other day - they were talking about their acceptances. He told his friend that the school he chose is "great." So I'm happy with that. :D</p>
<p>EDIT: Karen Colleges, you just described my son. I think that's exactly where we're at, and once he's actually there, it'll be fine.</p>
<p>^ Christcorp - I really appreciate your post.</p>
<p>Heron, I saw that you also posted about D not having visited any of her school choices yet. This may be one reason why she does not seem too excited. As Karen C notes, the whole concept of going away to college may not even seem "real" to her yet, and this may be in part because she has not visited the schools and hasn't been able to start that process of picturing herself at any of her choices. </p>
<p>S only applied to one OOS school, which he did not visit until acceptance day. He was always completely content with the idea of going to state flagship (which actually had a great program for his major). He also was not too excited or engaged during the entire application process, and decided not to apply to any of his few OOS choices perhaps partly because he did not have an opportunity to visit them? (which we could not do for financial reasons). I'm sure he had many apprehensions about "going away" to school.
However, he HAD visited state flagship and could at least picture himself going there. </p>
<p>At the last minute he did apply to one OOS school 1500 miles away, that I had actually suggested, believing that it would be a better fit in many ways than state flagship (and was a little concerned about how few schools he was applying to). Even as we were flying out for the acceptance day visit, he told me that he didn't think he'd end up choosing this school. And then completely fell in LOVE with the city/school after arriving...</p>
<p>When my son received many acceptances 2 years ago, he had a lot to think about and became very quiet. He had been accepted at numerous top colleges that were far away, where few to no others class mates had also been accepted, as well as an acceptance at his "safety", where many classmates would be going and where he had a full tuition scholarship, [which was a big !!!]. Like many other students, [ I read that approx 70% of students go to college within 400 miles of home] he decided at the last possible minute to stay closer to home and friends, instead of "starting over" at a more prestigious college on the opposite coast. April was not fun for him [or us]</p>
<p>Thank you! All of these responses are helping me understand a little better where she might be coming from. I'm thinking: fear of indecision, and "the stress is not yet over" and not having visited any of the schools. I am hoping that when she visits, one of them will really stand out above the others for her. That would make it so easy for her. From the beginning she has not wanted to have choices. She would have only applied to one school if it had been up to her. We did push her, reasonably, I think, to apply to more. </p>
<p>I get what you are saying about the first one being special until the rest start coming in. Plus, two of the others came in with pretty big merit money, and she hasn't heard yet from college 1 about merit scholarships, which are competitive. The merit money really made her feel good!</p>
<p>She is definitely NOT the laid back type! So this is atypical of her. She talks about everything, and absolutely does not want to talk about college. </p>
<p>As far as her not internally choosing any of these schools, her first acceptance was always her first choice. She agonized waiting for that one. She didn't even care about the others coming in, until she got them! The others were sort of "keep the options open" schools. It really doesn't matter to me which school she chooses! They are all good schools.</p>
<p>Another factor is that her first choice school is the farthest away: 7 hours by train or car, and when you figure in all the getting to and from the airport + flight, probably 7 hours there, too. The others are all much closer. I've been surprised all along that a school so far away was her top choice, since she is a close-to-home kind of girl. So I think she may be attracted to the others now, because of distance.</p>
<p>^^ sounds familiar. When S was picking the colleges to apply to at the start of his Senior year, it was with an eye to going as far away from home as possible. As the time to make a final decision drew near, he really started to think about all the implications of being far away from Calif- 6-7 hours by plane and bus to get to and from college, the weather, missing his friends, etc, etc.</p>
<p>Heron-your daughter sounds a lot like me! :) The school that I'm enrolled at for next fall is about an 8-hour drive. It was important to me to have to live on-campus, but be close enough so that in an emergency, I could fly home within an hour and a half or so.</p>
<p>Anyway. My first acceptance came from my 2nd choice (which had been my first choice until I found Sonoma State University...yes, my love is a safety ^_^) in the form of an online announcement at about 9:15 at night (On my mother's birthday, no less!). I read it to my parents...almost immediately, there was much crying (my parents, though I cried a little too), and a feeling of "She's really going to college!" swept over the household. My parents started calling every relatvie we have to inform them of the news, and by the next day I was floating.</p>
<p>The next few months were filled with anxiety as I waited. I knew that SFSU had come early, but shouldn't I have some others by now (CSUs, which all of the schools I applied to are, are notorious for sending decisions out very early since the app. deadline is November 30th)? I couldn't get my mind off of it...my love for SFSU was rapidly decreasing, and I reallllly wanted Sonoma State.</p>
<p>December 10th, 2007. I went to the mailbox when I got home from school and flicked through it casually, when I saw the blue and white "Sonoma State" logo emblazoned on the left-hand corner, along with the subheading "Admissions and records."</p>
<p>I actually wasn't that excited. I thought it was just a request for more forms or test scores or something. I went into my mom's room and handed her the rest of the mail while I proceeded to open the envelope from Sonoma (which, by the way, gave no hints as it was a standard-sized envelope).</p>
<p>I peered into the envelope and noticed something funny next to the piece of paper. When I pulled it out, it was a magnet that said, "Congratulations on being admitted to SSU! Come check out our campus housing--you'll be impressed!" (They have EXCELLENT housing, I might add...I was just there. :))</p>
<p>I couldn't believe it. I tore open the letter and read it...the usual "We are pleased to inform you" stuff. My mom immediately started crying and screaming and even called my brother (my sister works for him as a nanny) to immediately share the news.</p>
<p>But as for me? I wasn't as excited as I thought I would be. Yes, I liked that I had gotten in. But I also started to feel anxious. None of my friends were going away, and SSU was DEFINITELY "away".</p>
<p>Now, after a campus tour and several months of thinking, I cannot WAIT for August! But I am also very introverted with my parents as I try to absorb these last 9 weeks of Senior Year. Your daughter is probably going through some similar feelings.</p>
<p>Heron; and anyone else who cares; the best way through all this is communications. Communicating with your child. First thing however is to NOT TELL THEM WHAT YOU WOULD DO. You've got 20+ years more life experience than they do. Don't go there. If you do, they WILL SHUT DOWN ON YOU.</p>
<p>Once they start getting these offers, start asking them simple questions. Ask them what they LIKE about the different schools. (It's best to ask them these things as acceptances start coming in instead of bombarding them with 6 colleges and questions all at once). If you can remember the things they say the LIKE and DON'T LIKE about each college, you can maybe write these down. (They don't have to know you wrote them down). Then when they have all of them together trying to weigh them, you can really start to communicate.</p>
<p>This is where it really gets hard. Try to ONLY listen. If you feel compelled to talk, then just repeat back to them what they are saying. I.e. They start talking about how "Pretty" the surrounding looks at "West Virginia". Just acknowledge that, "Yes, it's really pretty". Don't say things like; "Well, that isn't really the most important thing about a school". Guess what? Your child knows that. You don't have to tell them. They are probably overwhelmed and this is part of their coping.</p>
<p>Anyway, the best thing you can do is to listen. You can ask basic questions to start the conversation, but once it's started, let you kid do as much of the talking as possible. If they ask you questions, try to answer it with another "EASY QUESTION". </p>
<p>I.e. DAUGHTER/SON: "Mom/Dad, UCLA sure does have a lot of excellent programs that I'm interested in. Do you think it's a good school and maybe I should choose them"? </p>
<p>YOU: "Yea Kelly; they are an excellent school. They've definitely got a lot to offer. Does the other schools that you're looking at offer the same things or different things"?</p>
<p>It gets them into comparing each school and figuring out what is important to them. Remember, it's not what's important to you that matters. It's what's important to them that matters. Obviously, the most difficult thing to discuss in finances. It's a lot easier from some in Nebraska to talk to their kid about going to the University of Nebraska and the cost of tuition compared to out of state or worse yet Harvard, Yale, MIT, etc.... Just let the kid know what your capabilities are, BUT that there are other financial options if they want the other schools.</p>
<p>Anyway, keep communications open.</p>
<p>I think it is hard to get excited when faced with several choices, with their own pros and cons. I talked with my D tonight about where she might want to visit, trying to make some firm plans. She has been on Face book groups for various colleges, and has decided to visit one she was unsure about, based on some of the posts there. She thought the kids sounded more academically oriented than some of her other prospects, and that interested her. I think (I hope) the visits will help clarify her preferences. It's probably too much to ask that she will come home knowing that one clearly stands out as her school, but at least she should be able to rule some out!</p>
<p>This sounds like my daughter too! Her first acceptance came in early November and then she's been accepted into 6 out of 6 schools and awaiting from one more school. I think she was excited to get accepted to each but also then realized that's another school she can't eliminate from the decision making process. She too can't imagine what life will be like without seeing her HS friends. Her closest friend is going far, her boyfriend and she will probably end up at different schools. I reassured her by telling her there is no one right decision - all of the schools she applied would be great for her - go with her gut and all things being equal go with the least expensive option (we gave her a limit as to what we would pay). I also stressed to her how much easier it will be for her to keep in touch with her friends via facebook, cell phones - things we never had in college - I remember my parents trying to call me on the dorm hall phone! Also I pointed out how much time she'll be home with Thanksgiving, Semester break, longer summer, etc. She will still have lots of time with HS friends. I live 3 hours from where I went to HS and still keep in touch with several HS friends and I pointed this out to my daughter as well. </p>
<p>I think we expect our kids to be overjoyed and at times I think they are - but it's also a scary time with so much change, so many decisions and so much unknown. Offer reassurance and tell her there are really no bad choices.</p>
<p>Yesterday a friend of mine gave me a great book , "Letting go, a parent's guide to understanding the college years". The first chapter I read is all about the ambivalence of going away for many kids and the ways that is demonstrated. Pehaps many of you have seen or heard of it, may be worth a look.</p>
<p>I'm going to read that book!</p>