Not friends with roommates?

<p>I just got to my dorm a few days ago, and its a suite-style with 2 double rooms and a bathroom. When I first got there the guys in the other room seemed open and nice but ever since I've barely seen them. I always assumed that I'd be friends with my roommates and they would help me adjust to college-life. I keep my door open and everything but they just seem to ignore me. We had a mandatory floor meeting and they didnt even sit close to me. Come to think about it, I haven't really met anyone in my dorm. Everyone just seems like they already have their groups or cliques. All my friends and people I've met so far live about 5 minutes away walking. It kind of sucks not having people in my dorm to talk to.</p>

<p>Do something about it, especially with the people you are sharing a suite with. Just talk to them. It can't hurt.</p>

<p>I agree... I guess I need to man up and talk to people in my dorm. The thing I hate about it is that its so private compared to other dorms.. and the people don't seem as friendly.</p>

<p>It's only been a few days. Chances are, people are just a little scared.</p>

<p>No, don't talk to them. It sounds kind of ridiculous, but I would hang back from them, make your own friends outside of the dorm situation and if they are going to warm up, it'll happen naturally.</p>

<p>The fact that they are not acting warm and welcoming to you suggests to me that they are kind of f<strong><em>s, so you don't want to get into a situation where you ask for their help and they just *</em></strong> on you. Maybe I am overreacting, but if I were you I would play it cool. Chances are they will warm up.</p>

<p>There's a difference between being a good roommate and a good friend. Nobody will expect you to make friends with your roommate or even suite mates. How are you getting along with your roommate?</p>

<p>not that my opinion will change anything, but that's why freshmen shouldn't live in suites. it kind of cordons people off and makes it harder for them to make friends with people in their own building.</p>

<p>
[quote]
I always assumed that I'd be friends with my roommates and they would help me adjust to college-life. I keep my door open and everything but they just seem to ignore me. We had a mandatory floor meeting and they didnt even sit close to me. Come to think about it, I haven't really met anyone in my dorm.

[/quote]
The college didn't assign people to be your friends. It's a shared housing situation. Sure it's nice if it turns out they're your buddies, and maybe it turns out that way a lot, but as you've seen you can't count on it. All that's really necessary is to treat each other with respect.</p>

<p>Now is the time to be outgoing, though, even if it's hard due to your nature. If your dorm has activities go to them and introduce yourself to people. When you're in the cafeteria don't sit by yourself but find a group introduce myself ("hi, I'm Joe, and just moved in on 3-South. Mind if I join you?")</p>

<p>i was really worried at first because i wasn't very good friends with my roommate. meaning we didnt hang out outside of the dorm. i am from out of state and she is from instate so often goes home or hangs out with her friends that she knew from high school. it was really strange at first because i was very lonely and homesick. but a few days ago a guy in my dorm came up and sat with my in the dining hall and we've been hanging out ever since. </p>

<p>my suggestion is try to meet people in the dining hall especially if they are eating alone. try to strike up a conversation and find something in common.. hope that helps :)</p>

<p>I almost never talked to my roommate last year. We cooperated, got along with each other, and tolerated each other... but that's as far as it went. Everyone I've talked to says that's what is important: getting along with your roommate (not having fights, etc). Most roommates don't become friends.</p>

<p>Its so awkward when both of us are in the room. We dont talk at all.. just go about our business.</p>

<p>^ That happened to me as well. Because the assignments at my school are completely random, my roomate and I had absolutely nothing in common. The extent of our interaction were greetings or nods when he/I walked into or left the room. We didn't each together or converse in the room either, each just went about business or used the computer. The thing is that we actually disagreed on most things like music taste/television/shows/attitudes so it the possibility of befriending one another was really discarded and I personally could sense it from his part. As long as there is mutual courtesy and he respects your space, I wouldn't brood over it--next semester you can perhaps apply for a new roomate and see if the chemistry is better.</p>

<p>Are you stinky or out of the ordinary?</p>

<p>To put it bluntly, no offense (even though it won't matter).. fit these visual stereotypes..</p>

<p>Nerd, Emo/Goth, smell, kind of ugly or funky looking, too shy?</p>

<p>I knew a kid who would like never talk when you talked to him, so we just kind went whatever...</p>

<p>Make an effort.</p>

<p>Are you a freshman in a mostly upperclassmen dorm? That would explain this whole situation.</p>

<p>i say just as long as you find some friends to hang out with you are set.</p>

<p>it doesn't matter if they are from a different apartment complex or not. seems like your taking things for granted/want the world.</p>

<p>Let's see . . . pre-season football is here. Order a pizza or two and invite your roomies to join. Then chat during the commercials--nothing forced--it could be about the game, etc.</p>

<p>(There are very few guys who will turn down pizza and football-- but if your roommates are that type, think up something else that will work.)</p>

<p>I'm sorry about your situation. Do you have any theories as to why your roommates are cold to you? If they're naturally unfriendly, don't try to force anything but just be polite. Last year, I was in a single by choice (I've had roommate experiences before and didn't want them to happen during my freshman year) but figured that I would socialize with the people on my dorm and in the dining hall/clubs. I figured I would make friends this way and then choose a friend to room with the following year (this year). That's exactly what happened. My best friend in college right now (and roommate) I met in the dining hall. He was sitting a seat away from me one day, and I just befriended him out of instinct that we would get along. My other friend I met at the beach... we were just walking around with a bunch of acquaintances, and I approached her for directions. She walked with us to Subway and voila, we're still good friends. Another friend I met on Myspace, no joke. I befriended her randomly (people despise this but whatever), and I came up to her when I saw her in person. We're still really close. Of course, I've had other friends online who are kind of cold in real life. Another really good friend approached me in class. We'd always sit next to each other, so we got to talking (nothing forced, just little stuff) eventually. We ended up having lunch one day, and to this day, we're close. My advice is to take initiative-- you never know when you're gonna meet your close friends. In college, you always have "now or never" moments... opportunities come and go, and you have to seize them. In many cases, it becomes awkward if you see them all the time and have never approached them, so in the first few encounters with them, talk to them if it feels natural. Also, whenever a friend you just met spontaneously invites you to an event, GO! I can't tell you how much events (movies, art shows, operas, poetry readings, whatever) have helped solidify my bonds with people. You don't even have to like the event (Godfather 2 didn't interest me whatsoever but I went anyway to see what these people had to say about it)-- what counts is the social bonding opportunity.</p>

<p>I'm not one of those uber-friendly people who mindlessly say Hi to everyone, but I listened to my gut and went with whatever was natural for me. There are exceptions, however. Last year, these people on my floor were really difficult to read...they used to say Hi to me but they just stopped all of a sudden, and I wasn't really sure why. I gave them the benefit of the doubt, so one night, I sat with them in the dining hall. It was extremely <em>awkward,</em> but I toughed it out, and after that, we were on good terms again.</p>

<p>Omg. Calm down. Give it a little time...this is not a serious issue and does not warrant you sitting around brooding about it. Grow a spine and find something more imporant and worthwhile to worry about. </p>

<p>I can give you some examples:
1.) Poverty
2.) Politics
3.) World hunger
4.) War
5.) Genocide
6.) Football</p>

<p>In the time it took Yourfather to write that response, you could have fed a child for a whole day in Africa by donating one dollar.</p>

<p>People are so disillusioned on this site.</p>