I just transferred to this big state college from another big state college and to put it plainly I hate it. At my first college I got into a lot of trouble with my parents and it prompted them not to trust me( I got perfect grades so far and haven’t been acting up). Since they don’t trust me they make me commute home 2.5 hrs every weekend and make me live alone in a studio apartment. I went through rushing for fraternities and I really thought I would get a bid since the guys seemed to like me and I dressed well, but alas I got no bids. I tried emailing clubs to see if there were any opportunities and they said come back next semester to try them out. This big state college I am at right now is much better academically than my original college so I guess theres that, but I am a second semester sophomore right now and I have attended one big state college for a year, did summer classes at a community college(This was just a summer session), and did part time classes at a local college for a semester. Frankly it has been about 4 or 5 weeks and I am miserable. I try striking up conversations with people in classes, but nothing. I am really lonely and after this whole fraternity fiasco I almost tried to commit suicide because I always wanted to join one and I realized how lonely I am. I am not sure if I should transfer again because it would just be confusing for people. My friend told me to treat this semester as a hibernation semester and try to use the time alone to better myself, but the thing is it is easier said than done. My parents will absolutely not let me stay in a dorm since they don’t think those are good. I was thinking of texting the rush chairs of the fraternities I rushed and just ask if I can still rush a bit more since I really want to join them. I don’t know what to do because I am stuck. At my previous college meeting people was never a problem since I lived in a dorm and I was social. Now I am just depressed everyday knowing all I can do is just hangout in my room, go to the gym, and just get all my homework done. I know this sounds like I am complaining, but please can someone give me some advice I am really confused on what to do.
Frats are not really the answer… don’t bother following up with them. They make their final decisions at rush, and that is it. But I can’t believe NO club you are interested in would let a transfer student join. Try to find some other ones to check out. See if you can join any teams for intramural sports, see if the campus theater group needs help with sets, look into organizations for volunteering. Get a part time job if you don’t have one, that is also a way to meet people.
Like I emailed about 10 clubs, but they pretty much don’t respond or say its too late. Basically I have always wanted to join a fraternity since high school and at my old school I got bids to join them, but here I don’t know anyone so its really different. You don’t think if I am really nice and sincere about asking they would give me another chance?
I know I figure I have personality flaws. I try being nice and myself, but it seems people just never take a liking to me I don’t know what else I can do.
@theeliteps3 I remember your last thread, when you talked about your dorm situation before the transfer. Given the issues that occurred there, I’m not sure that a fraternity would be the best for you.
I completely understand, however, your desire for a “normal” college experience that includes a lot of social interaction. Have you considered a service organization, such as Habitat for Humanity? It’s a great way to meet people. There are other similar types of organizations as well. And I agree with @intparent that a part-time job can be a good way to meet people.
As for clubs not emailing you back, try to call. Or show up at a meeting.
If I remember correctly, you are an entrepreneur. Surely there must be a group on campus that would be very glad to have your expertise. Try to get your skills known. Someone will be very glad to have you help them.
Like the info they have on sites is really small and my parents are not exactly in favor of a part time job. I am kinda isolated, but I’ll try to keep busy with something.
Service clubs are a good idea, and they usually don’t turn down potential members. There are usually several, both single and dual sex, and on some campuses they even serve a social function like a fraternity. You could also check out campus ministries. Yes, there is a religious element, but many are mostly social. How about sports - not team sports, but something like a hiking, backpacking, kayaking group?
Lastly, if your campus offers counseling for free, take advantage of it to work on personality traits you’d like to modify. Just don’t give up! Keep trying to find your place.
Hugs to you, @theeliteps3 i know this is a hard time. To me, you sound like a great kid who made a misstep and am now trying to make your way back. i really like the idea of the service clubs above…and the hiking/backpacking things are a really good idea…then you’d get a good amount of time with people.
keep checking in here…I want to see how you’re doing!
Thanks for checking in guys! Its been a while, but my situation is so so. I have to come home every weekend upon my parents request which I guess is a little better than my dad staying with me all the time. So far all the stuff I wanted to join pretty much had cuts. The new business fraternity on campus said they couldn’t take me on and then the college republicans meetings are always during my class. I am trying to take the advice of a friend of mine and just treat this semester as a hibernation semester where I should just get the best grades I can get, learn a few new things by self study, go to the gym, etc. I really want to transfer, but it’s too late for that. So far all the fraternities I rushed pretty much couldn’t give me a bid because there is always that one guy who didn’t like me because I am a bit overexcited when I get social interaction given the state of things of not really meeting people. I was never like this before what happened. If you were in my shoes how would you convince my parents to let me stay at college for the weekend? I was really sick and wanted to stay at college for the weekend, but they said “we can’t let that happen” and they came and picked me up since I didn’t buy a bus ticket. Like they really don’t approve of me staying at college for even one weekend. Thats why I probably didn’t get a bid to a fraternity because I couldn’t attend one of the invite only events they had this weekend. I just feel like the whole world is against me right now. I know I am whining, but I can’t seem to find my happiness. I am definitely not happy at my parents house because they are crazy, I can’t deal with my parents with me at college because they came into my room and started to nag me about some clothes in the corner of the room, and when I am alone without my parents I am happy in the sense I can at least be myself but I am also alone.
I just read your other thread where this issue all started and… wow. I’m sorry, but membership in a frat is the last thing you need, and you need to stop dwelling on getting cut. And after everything that I saw over there, you don’t need to be asking for more from your parents in terms of when you do and don’t have to come home. Suck it up, take your medicine, and keep being persistent with clubs. You’ve contacted 10. Okay, that’s a start. More than likely, there are tons more, keep looking. Sign up for email lists for different things at your college, and go to some of the events they advertise. Keep trying to be personable in-class, and just let friendships happen naturally. None of my friends that I met in classes were made in one period.