<p>@Modadunn: Yeah, we never know for sure, really. Remember Erma Bombeck's book, "Forever Erma," and the passage about kids being like kites? Refrigerator</a> Queen - New York Times</p>
<p>Whether deliberately or inadvertently -- imho you've done the very best thing a parent can do, by stepping back and letting your son become who he's meant to be. His accomplishments and his future are his alone, and it sounds like he's well on his way and fully equipped to handle that future. What a wonderful gift you've given him.</p>
<p>And really, don't fret over finding things out at the 11th hour (I know you will anyway, that's what parents do! :D). We started learning all this stuff when geek<em>son's school administered the PSAT in 10th grade and geek</em>son showed some (fleeting) interest in an Ivy. And you know what? In the end, all the strategic "packaging" stuff didn't really make much difference. He took the classes he wanted; he did the ECs he was interested in; he turned down summer research opportunities and volunteered (over my mild protests) at a place that had absolutely nothing to do with his long-term academic goals, but everything to do with who he is and how he's grown over the years. And in the end, he knew where he wanted to be, applied there, and will attend next year.</p>
<p>I've seen so many kids end up exactly where they belong -- some quite deliberately, some altogether unwillingly at first -- and during their first year, they all seemed to come back very, very happy about their colleges and excited about their futures. Honestly, I think the process has a way of working out for the best when we don't try too hard to force it.</p>
<p>Even in my own case -- I had no counseling whatsoever, never really discussed college with my folks, never heard of the PSAT until senior year, took the SAT once in April of my senior year. Had absolutely no clue what I was supposed to do and when, and ended up attending and commuting to the local state U by default. I enjoyed it a lot, although frankly I'd been thinking more in the direction of Caltech or MIT (and very nearly had the stats despite my bumbling, clueless record of taking whatever classes I wanted and not thinking about any particular future). Working with geek_son, I wanted to make sure that he had all the options I'd never known were even available. In the process, I became a bit resentful at all the things I'd never been told and the lack of support I'd had in high school (when a kid couldn't just hop onto the Web and find all the requisite information herself).</p>
<p>Then a memory hit me: Toward the end of my first year at the state U, I found out that the migraines I'd experienced all my life were caused by chemical sensitivities that could be eased by observing an insanely strict diet for several years. Living at home, with my mom's help and support, I was able to follow the diet and recover my health. At a dorm across the country in the 80s? ... no way.</p>
<p>That's a dramatic story, perhaps. In the past few years I've heard many other stories that are less dramatic, but that underscore the same point: Somehow, most kids either end up where they belong or make what they need out of the situation they end up in.</p>
<p>And you, Modadunn, have given your son the room he needs to do just that.</p>