<p>Ok, I have done tons of drafts and gotten loads of feedback on my extracurricular essay (150 words or less..it's 149), and want some opinions/changes on one of my final drafts. Any takers? It only takes like 45 seconds to read and it would be very helpful!</p>
<p>Also, can anyone please properly hyphenate (idk if that's a word, but you know what I mean) twenty-dollar-an-hour.</p>