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Yup, it’s about more than just the babies (although as far as that goes … hire a private plane if you don’t want to put on noise canceling headphones). This: “ … our increasing desire, as patrons, to get every single thing we want, exactly the way we want it, may have turned us into big babies.” My last couple years in higher education were filled with this attitude. While many students were still wonderful to work with, the attitude of some who believed we owed them the moon and the stars because they paid tuition made it tough to enjoy at times. I see the attitude in so many places now, and while it annoys me, I am adult enough not to complain about the whiners (you know, publicly!).
My GD travels business or first classes often, especially on international flights. She is usually a lot better behaved than some adults.
The worst flight we’ve ever had with kids was on a JetBlue flight, and it wasn’t the kids’ fault. They were cranky during take off. We heard a lot of kids crying and fussing. 30 minutes into the flight, when kids all quite down (presumably sleeping), a loud announcement came on about applying for JetBlue credit card, which woke up the kids. Through out the flight they continuously asked passengers to not change diapers in their seats, but to do it in their tiny little bathrooms. My SIL who is usually fairly easy going said, “never again to fly JetBlue.” We sat in row 1, but JetBlue didn’t have business class.
I frankly never had issues with kids on plane, some adults were more challenging.
Interesting thought. But the attitude is not a new one. Even in the 70s, when working at a restaurant in a beach area, the owner warned all employees during orientation “customers here are on vacation, and they want what they want and will often speak to you as though you could not possibly have any concerns besides getting them what they want, even when it’sridiculousand impossible.” That was true at pretty much every establishment in town. As a huge generalization, Americans believe they can buy many rights.
As for the babies, well, most parents do their best and most people are sympathetic. I think where it breaks down for most is when parents make no effort - letting their kids kick the seat in front of them, etc. There may be much less cultural agreement in the US on parenting norms than in some other places. That to many makes a different approach the wrong one.
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For those with the $$ for it, here’s a way to fly and have everything the way you want it:
My son works for the company (it’s how I know about it)… but really, they don’t need more business or money so it’s not an “ad,” just a suggestion if anyone truly feels their needs aren’t being met by First Class on airlines for the “minions.”
Clients who want special treatment do keep him gainfully employed. There are plenty out there.
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Way back in 1998 when I went to China to adopt my daughter (almost 2), one of my brothers gave me and my other brother points to fly business class. If looks could kill, we would would have been dead in the business-class lounge in Hong Kong and in Seoul (we flew Asiana). Fortunately my daughter was good (mostly slept spread-eagled on top of me and didn’t cry). I did kind of understand the trepidation of the business passengers whose companies spent big bucks on their tickets. But a toddler is a toddler! I guess we were all lucky. After all, the flights only took a million hours from Hangzhou to Hong Kong to Seoul to JFK.
Of course on arrival, jetlag was beyond the comprehension of my daughter who woke up ready to play every night at 3:30 am. But we survived that too.
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When I have flown first class on longer flights recently, my “goody bag” from the airline included earplugs. Seriously, it’s a simple solution!
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I was on a flight where the parents were appearing to “ferberize” their baby on the plane, leaving the baby to cry while they slept. (The baby was in the plane cot.) I thought, just hold your baby. Perhaps there were reasons…just felt like an odd choice for a redeye. (My kids and husband slept through this, and I wasn’t going to sleep anyway.)
Anyway, crying babies are fine. I wish we didn’t have that attitude as a country.
I do think that audible sounds from games/movies/etc. should be banned in planes. Requiring headsets would be a good idea!
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The collegekids have been flying longhaul (10+ hours) since they were 8 weeks old.
Never once has one of them done what a drunk Wells Fargo VP did last week: peed on another passenger.
Never once has one of them tossed sanitary pads from the bathroom around the cabin the way a group of athletes did on a flight.
It is true that they have all, at one time or another, fallen asleep and leaned over into my space- but at least I know them, not like the salesman who just downed another Woodford Reserve.
And it is true that I have had to get up many, many, many times on a 12 hour flight to let them go to the bathroom, but again you kind of sign up for that when they are your kid, as opposed to the older person who keeps getting extra water from the flight attendant (because it is important to stay hydrated) and then needs to get out 9 times in one flight.
tl;dr- it’s a bus, people. You take public transportation, you take your chances, no matter how fancy your seat is.
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We flew with our kids from the time they were 6 months old, 5+ hour flights, sometimes several of them in 24 hours. We often got a few anxious looks but our kids were without exception well behaved at airports and on airplanes. I often had to ask other kids to go back to their parents because I wasn’t running a daycare in the plane. We tried to fly during the day so we could all land and check in to lodging and go to sleep, otherwise the kids would sleep on the plane and be raring to go while we wanted to sleep when we landed.
It’s unfortunate that people are intolerant of others. I don’t have answers.
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I flew back from Europe recently (9 hour flight) and a small child near me wailed almost the entire time. Not sure what was going on but I gave the parents the benefit of the doubt that possibly the child was teething, overtired. not feeling well or had an issue we don’t know about. I’m sure it was not an easy/good situation for them.
I don’t do earbuds/headphones but I was OK. Better a crying baby than a drunk, obnoxious, adult.
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I wish I could give double dislikes to this part of your post. You have zero idea what kind of health issues that person might have. Oh yeah, the airline assigned that middle seat, most likely. Please don’t judge and be kind to your fellow travelers regardless of age - if they are not drinking booze and behaving obnoxiously.
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we are not really on opposite sides here, though I agree that I didn’t put it well (b/c I used a real example of somebody whose story I do actually know).
Our main point is the same: traveling by public transport requires everybody to be considerate of each other and -in the absence of direct evidence to the contrary -assume that everybody is doing their best to cope with the challenges of their own journey.
My subpoint - and the point of the thread - is that people focus on babies/children as being particularly problematic on planes, and speaking as somebody who flies a lot my experience is that they are no more problematic than the adults (who ought to know better!).
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My husband is one that gets up for the bathroom a couple of time on a 2.5 hour flight. He likes to drink diet coke, so what goes in, must come out! While he has previously preferred a window seat, with me in the center, even I get annoyed with having to turn myself into a pretzel to let him get by! I have now requested he sit in the aisle seat going forward to avoid disturbing the aisle passenger and myself.
I know kids can get restless on flights, but parents can help by having things to do, and snacks available. Both my GD are good flyer as their parent pack a tablet for watching shows, snack, and some new toys/activities for the flight. That is not to say one or the other has never gotten restless, but overall, they are good flyers.
I once was on a flight with a mom and toddler; the toddler was bouncing all over the place. I could see mom did not have a single toy or snack for him; the only thing he could play with was the tray table which I am sure made the passenger in front of him happy. 
I didn’t judge, as I had no idea what their situation was; maybe her carryon bag was left at home. Still, it made for an unpleasant flight for those around him.
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I’m usually the one that will pick to sit next to a child on an airplane. As a sped. teacher I tend to be able to make something interesting out of the limited materials I have available to keep kids entertained and I find kids that are traveling to be quite entertaining at times. I’m not a person that can sit and do nothing for a few hours and tend to get restless myself. I totally don’t mind helping out.
I think the whole context of this conversation is a bit off. I don’t blame kids, parents or other passengers. I blame airlines that treat humans like cattle. While flying first class may insulate you a bit, flight delays, overcrowding, luggage restrictions, diminishing seat size and services cause stress from booking to landing and are indicative of how inhumane the industry has become.
WBUR/NPR recently had people call in in response to this story. It seems that the majority of callers were frequent flyers that found a lack of courtesy and manners among all passengers with kids and parents being no worse than the general population. All of this was only exasperated by paying a lot of money to be locked in a metal tube with little personal space .
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For a little less money, they can try to fly in Etihad Residences on its fleet of A380s:
Or, if they aren’t risk-averse, they can also fly, for a lot less, in premium cabins on Malaysia Airlines, which ban infants in those cabins.
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I always packed a bag of edible and activity treats and games that were only for airplane flights. The kids really enjoyed those special times and treats. I tried having items they had not seen/tried before as well as old favorites. We always managed and were fortunate we flew with H, me and 2 kids so we could trade off and relieve one another.
I try not to judge others with weary and unhappy kids. Flying these days sounds challenging for all.
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I get really annoyed by the people who complain about breast feeding. Nursing is a good way to get a child to suck and thus avoid some of the crying caused by the change in air pressure. Yet, every now and again there’s some idiot on the plane who complains this is “indecent” or has to make some other nasty crack about it. I mean, seriously, you’d prefer to listen to the poor kid cry?
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I flew with D when she was 5 months, and nursing pretty much saved the day. Fortunately, I didn’t encounter anyone who complained.
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Why is it anyone else’s business what you do quietly in the privacy of your seat, with or without a cover over your body part?