D23, 1500+, 9 ap’s by time of graduation, 3.98 UW, medium to good EC’s.
We are encouraging her to strongly consider a mid-tier SUNY to major in Mechanical Engineering (her major of choice- but she isn’t 100%). Her brother ('22) will already be there. He did not have the stats his sister did, but the school is a great fit for him.
We will not get aid anywhere based on need. We can afford 60K/yr or so funded straight from existing 529 , and SUNY comes in at at less than half of that. It would leave a nice tidy sum remaining for grad school, which we expect she will want to do.
Now that she seems to be responding positively to the suggestion, I feel a pang of guilt that somehow she would be shooting too low, underselling herself and/or not getting the school she has earned and deserved. She is relying on our guidance, and we somehow are guiding her to the least expensive option.
I know SUNY’s are great, and engineering really is not a prestige driven profession when you get beyond the MIT’s of the world. And this is the responsible way to go.
But still- this nagging feeling that she has worked so hard, we have a good chunk saved, and that she deserves “better”. And I don’t think she would have any interest in the name brand SUNY’s. They are either too cold, or too close.
Why a mid-tier SUNY? Do you mean mid-tier in general, or among the SUNYs? Binghamton is nationally ranked and has engineering. Not really mid-tier.
So much of this depends on what she wants. Is she sure about Mechanical Engineering? Could she get into a top SUNY? Are there other schools that might provide more opportunities outside the classroom? Is there research available?
No need to feel guilty as long as the college offers what she is interested and will be a good environment.
I am pretty confident she would get into any SUNY- and for Engineering. Is she sure about ME…75% I’d say. So she needs other paths just in case.
Bing, UB are damn cold and not her thing. I think she is thinking- if I am going to go SUNY, I might as well go with my brother- his school has everything I want, even if it is solidly a safety school.
I think it’s important for your D to make sure that even if ME isn’t for her, the college still works. I think it’s important for your D to find out whether her other interests- artistic or musical or social activism or whatever she cares about- can be supported there.
You don’t “think” she’s interested in other SUNY’s or has she visited and told you so?
As long as your D is steering the ship here, I don’t see a problem. I do know many kids (in real life, in my extended family) who got railroaded into a sub-optimal college situation either because of the finances, family ties, distance or all three- and they don’t always work out well. Sometimes they do- but kids appreciate a little bit of agency when it comes to their college exploration, even if they end up compromising due to finances (reality and all that).
Besides this particular SUNY (Maritime, New Paltz, Stony Brook have ME), is she interested in any other colleges that fall within your price limit?
It is fine if her actual first choice happens to be an inexpensive safety with suitable academics for her (ME major, and other programs of interest if she changes).
Personally, I would have her visit Binghamton, Stony Brook, and even Buffalo to get a feel for them. Even if engineering is not prestige-based, the type of companies that recruit can be different at schools with top programs. How much warmer is it anywhere in NY State? Do she and her brother have similar temperaments? Is it more important to her to be in class with students that are engaged, interested and working hard? Will she find them easily at brother’s school?
I would be concerned that she is just taking the path of least resistance. I would want her to visit some other places and then if she decides to go to brother’s school, it will be a true choice. Don’t discount some engineering schools like Worcester Poly that might offer her a good amount of merit aid.
I think it’s important that you set the parameters of what you are willing to pay for: budget, distance from home, or whatever qualities you and your spouse determine. Then, let your daughter explore and learn more.
Have her visit some of the ABET-accredited SUNY campuses and see what she feels drawn to (for instance, larger student body or smaller). If possible, have her sit in on classes in areas of interest. See what her thoughts are and then let her see other options that would fall within budget and maybe a completely different feel. Maybe Clarkson or RPI, for instance. If you’re hoping not to spend as much for undergrad so that you help with grad school you can let her know, we have $x in a pot set aside for your education. The more you spend on undergrad, the less there is for grad school. Let her start weighing those decisions, though obviously you will be there to provide guidance.
But there is no “bad parenting” by allowing a high-achieving child attend a mid-tier SUNY if that is what your daughter chooses. If that’s the best fit for her, then that’s great. But I do think that it will be beneficial in the long-term for her to have agency in the college search process.
The SUNY’s are indeed great, and engineering really is not prestige driven. That is one reason why you see so many t-shirts and blue jeans among engineers. In some cases you see fancy t-shirts (like from an interesting location). That is how you know when an engineer is dressed up.
Having worked hard and gotten good grades will make her very well prepared to do very well in university.
One daughter decided she wanted to attend a small university in Canada. With her grades every small university in Canada was a safety. She attended what was essentially a safety with a very good merit scholarship, did really well, and is now working at a good job back here in the USA. She under-ran her budget quite significantly, but this will indeed come in very handy for graduate school.
Also, if you look at the students at very highly ranked master’s degree programs at top schools, they will have come from a very wide range of undergraduate universities. Perhaps the ones from an intermediate SUNY will have been very close to the top of their class, while the ones from MIT will have been in the top half of their class. However, someone in the top half of their class at MIT might have been in the top 20% of their class if they had gone to a SUNY, spent less money (if in-state and not eligible for need based aid at MIT), had less stress, and ended up in the same graduate program.
Perhaps one very minor issue is that at least having come from a relatively cold climate myself, I do think that a student can get used to the winters in upstate New York. However, I do not see any reason to push this.
I do not see anything wrong here at all. I would look for ABET accreditation, and for a school that has reasonable alternatives (which for an engineering major might for example include good math and CS programs).
There are many truly exceptional students who go to mid tier colleges. We don’t see a lot of those students here on CC. Maybe they choose to commute, or want to stay near home, or they follow the money, or follow their siblings or friends. There are great students who simply never consider other options.
If she is truly happy with her brother’s college that is just fine. Personally, I might encourage your D to expand her horizons a bit (with whatever budget you see fit) just so she doesn’t feel boxed into attending the same college as her brother. You don’t want her to have any regrets down the road. Maybe she can get some merit aid at a preferred college, maybe she will prefer a different SUNY school, or maybe she will still love her brother’s college.
If the school she is considering does happen to be Stony Brook, it’s worth remembering that it belongs to National Student Exchange (as does Buffalo and a few others.) NSE allows students to study for up to a year at a participating school. There are about 200 schools total, mostly in the US, but a few in Canada and the Caribbean too. Some really fun schools with strong ME programs participate including Cal Poly SLO. The best thing is that credits transfer automatically and that you only pay what you pay at your home institution. https://www.nse.org/exchange/colleges-universities/alpha-location/
You are in a good situation. I think you should tell her your budget (it doesn’t have to be everything in the 529) and let her choose the colleges to apply to. If you have other constraints such distance, size etc. let her know up front. My observations about an engineering degree are that a Masters is not necessary to get a good job. A Masters in Engineering without an undergraduate Engineering degree is not nearly as valuable as one with one. This is important when determining what you will do with any leftover 529 money. Engineering jobs value experiential learning such as coops but it’s not necessary. If it’s something that interests your daughter be sure they’re supported before your child accepts any admission.
I think so long as you communicate what your willing to contribute, discuss with your child your considerations and give her the choice based on those considerations there is nothing to feel guilty about.
Be careful to make sure that subject credit transfers, especially if you are in a sequence of prerequisites for your major. Also note that CPSLO is on the quarter system, which can make matching up subject credit more difficult if coming from a semester system school.
Great thoughts.
Their is a lot of financial transparency- she knows exactly what we have saved. She isn’t yet educated on what things costs but knows SUNY is a much better deal. Graduate school is firmly in her mind and I think that is where she might reach for a name brand if she can.
I think maybe my perception is the issue here. The dissonance between her achievement and stats, and attending a middle of the road SUNY (not Bing)
Yes, each school that participates in NSE has a designated person that facilitates the exchanges. They seem super helpful (or at least the ones in our state seem to be.) You can call them and ask detailed questions. For example some majors at SLO are not open to NSE transfers (but ME seems to be open.)
There is no reason why your D can’t explore a bunch of other options- including Bing if the idea of “middle of the road SUNY” doesn’t sit right. I’m not sure the weather at Bing is meaningfully warmer than in Albany, Geneseo, Stonybrook, or wherever it is that your son attends, but that for sure is a call your D needs to make. And have you priced out Cooper Union?
And I will be honest. The thought of not engaging in the farce that is now admissions at many schools: pumped up ecs, showing interest for statistical purposes, supplemental essays that force a kid to feel like they are not good enough unless they are “unique”. It really has appeal.
A few common apps and an honest, well written essay.