I probably already know the CC answer to this, but it would be good for me to hear it from all of you.
DD is choosing between Smith and Oberlin at this point. Academic leanings are English, history, creative writing, psychology. A humanities kid.
She received a $23,000 merit scholarship from Oberlin, and nothing from Smith. I’ve tried appealing, and while we are on the cusp of receiving fin. aid, we are on the wrong side of the cusp.
Smith has been her dream ever since she started looking at colleges, but $23k a year adds up to $92,000. That’s a lot of money. I think we could ask my parents,to help bridge the gap, but…
Anyhow, I’d love to hear from people who know the schools or have had to make similar decisions.
I would choose Oberlin hands-down for my kid, but why is Smith her “dream” school? What’s important to her (not just in college, but life)? Figuring that out may help decide whether spending a big chunk of change is for frivolous reasons or not.
Good points. She is going to visit Smith on accepted students day, and I’ve asked her to make notes about the things that resonate with her. Many of her pros are lifestyle-related: lovely housing, all female, the town of Northampton, pretty campus. I know a few are curricular- lots of freedom to choose courses, access to the 5 college consortium. We have a number of Smith grads on my husband’s side, who have talked it up.
@ucbalumnus, we went into the search thinking that we would need to get loans to supplement her college fund. The Oberlin merit offer would negate that need.
Oberlin > Smith + Loans
Oberlin is a LAC that is excellent in her area. For most people finances do have to be part of the decision process and I don’t see where she is giving up anything (except an all female environment) in choosing Oberlin over Smith.
@Dolemite, yup, I told Smith of Oberlin’s merit, plus DD’s smaller awards from Whitman and Sarah Lawrwnce. Even sent scans of the offers. No change. They were very polite, but unbending.
How much are the loan amounts needed at Smith? Remember that she can only take $5,500 in federal direct loans the first year; more than that would be parent loans or parent-cosigned loans, which are usually not a good idea.
Perhaps an important factor is whether, last fall, you and she had a clear understanding that if financial aid and/or scholarships made one school substantially less expensive than the other, it would be chosen or strongly favored, or if you made a promise or implied promise to pay up to the list price of either school (perhaps minus the federal direct loan amount). In the former case “a deal’s a deal” works in your favor. In the latter case, it does not, and you may have a harder time convincing her to choose the less expensive choice (even though avoiding the extra debt is likely a good thing for her).
You’re totally right, ucbalumnus. We didn’t set expectations clearly enough. This is our first, and last, go around with this journey and we have twins, so it was a double mistake. Luckily our S has selected a less expensive school. I plan to share your advice with my friends who’ll go through this next year.
In answer to your question, the gap we need to fill is just about what Oberlin offered. Seems sort of destined.
Were you really going to borrow $100K to finance a Smith education? That is not a good plan. Honestly, I’d cancel the trip to Smith and tell her it is unaffordable. Don’t let her go when you can’t reasonably pay for it. It isn’t a dream school if you can’t pay for it.
I am sure next time you will clarify your financial boundaries ahead of time, and squash the idea of a dream school completely.
Agree that $23,000 per year (or perhaps a few thousand less if she take a part time job to earn money to pay for school) of loans (most of which will be parent loans or parent-cosigned loans) gets into the really bad idea range (for either you or her).
But also agree that you will have a tough conversation with your daughter about financial realities, knowing that you unintentionally set her up for a big let-down. (Perhaps find a loan calculator and show her how long it will take to pay off at a “typical new college graduate pay level”.)
Everybody makes mistakes, even parents. I’d apologize to her for not realizing your financial limits earlier and explain that, although you did all you could as far as appealing the offer, Smith just isn’t affordable. I wouldn’t let her visit it and I wouldn’t present it as an expensive option and hope she makes the prudent choice. Take it off the table altogether.
Showing her what debt payments would have looked like is a good idea as long as she knows taking them isn’t an option. It may help to mention anything she will be able to do because costs are lower (study abroad, internships instead of working to earn tuition money, etc.). I think the sooner you have the conversation and the more decisive you are, the better.
I am a Smith alum, and I loved my time there…but as a mom in this situation I would tell my D to go to Oberlin.
Ultimately it is up to your family of course, but this is a HUGE difference financially.
Yes it was imprudent to talk up one school in particular, unless you and your H were committed to full pay for it… but your D has to understand that this merit scholarship is a huge blessing. You could not have known for sure ahead of time so I don’t see blaming yourself as much as you are doing. By the way – congratulations!
Speaking personally, I would say that often parents communicate a lot more angst than we realize. Yes it would have been great to send her to Smith, but if she was 100% about going to a women’s college I suspect that you would be agonizing over Mount Holyoke vs Smith right now. Sounds like she wants an artsy LAC – well, she is getting that! Talk about the amazing fact that she will have more opportunities to do internships, travel, etc. The burden of life-long loans are a hard concept for 17 and 18 year olds but the idea of a trip to somewhere seems to get through
Our D considered turning down a full scholarship at a private and taking out loans for a state school which – unlike the private – did not have an accelerated major in her field. She was our first and we agonized because she resented our pushing her to take the affordable option. By the first week of her first semester she got over it. If the difference in “fit” or in field of study or her overwhelming desire to only attend a women’s college were significant, I can see why it would be a harder choice. But Oberlin is comparable enough that it is reasonable to think she will thrive there.
I did a minor in writing at Smith by the way. Oberlin has a creative writing major!
Now I am being bossy but…English majors should not take on huge loans, as she will probably need to go to grad school to pursue a career.
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She received a $23,000 merit scholarship from Oberlin, and nothing from Smith. I’ve tried appealing, and while we are on the cusp of receiving fin. aid, we are on the wrong side of the cusp.
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Even if you just made it on the right side of “the cusp,” that just means that you might have received $1K or so. It doesn’t mean that you’d get $10k+.
Since you have twins, and the other twin’s education isn’t requiring these big loans, it seems almost silly to consider them for this twins. (not that it would be great to have loans for both). If you plan on paying or help-paying for your twins’ future weddings, think of that. If your future involves paying $100 back in debt so DD can go to Smith, that could put a huge damper on abilities to help pay “your share” when one or both twins decides to marry.
BTW…do you need to borrow for the other twin’s education?
Another factor would be the impact on your loan repayment on either retirement contributions or ability to retire when you want or need to (sometimes retirement is needed before the desired time).
When you did the NPC for Smith did it say you’d get aid? I only ask because reading the Smith forum there seems to be a lot of complaints and when I do the NPC (using this year’s taxes) Smith seems generous - more than many Ivy’s and top LACs.
