This is big news @HImom ! Congratulations to them and your family! Do you need us to help you find a dress yet? 
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Congratulations to your family, including soon to be DIL. Do they plan to get married in Hawaii, or the DMV area?
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Congrats, HImom!!
S doesnāt know when the wedding will be or where. He just flew back to DC yesterday as they plan to fly to Big Sur to spend some time at a deluxe resort for her birthday next week.
Iām waiting to learn from S what the scoop is before making any plans. With Covid it may be they have smaller reception(s) at more than 1 venueāwhere each of them grew up and where they live. Who knows? Iām just glad theyāre happy and moving forward with their lives.
D is very happy that S is willing and able to spend long periods of time with us . Without fiancĆ©e getting upsetāhe spent most of 2020 with us āhelping us get my mom used to being a widow and living in our various houses.
D is happy that the females that S and the male cousins have attached themselves to have been a very positive socializing influence on them, including Sās fiancĆ©e.
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She grew up in barrier islands of South Carolina, where much of her family still lives. Most of our family lives near or in Honolulu. The couple have been in DC|VA for over a decade.
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Wow, thatās a big geographical distance!!!
D1 is from Texas, her DH is from Iowa, they live in NC and his parents retired to Florida. We will have similar issues as it relates to travel and spending time with each family.
Sometimes it bothers me, but at the end of the day the most important thing is that my D is HAPPY. If I need to go to her more as the years go on and Iām in the position to do so, I will.
I remember you have spoken often of your S and his girlfriend. Best wishes for his and his new fianceeās happiness. If my inlaws lived in HI, Iād be all too happy to make frequent visits. 
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I know S plans to spend a lot of time in Honolulu and they may possibly relocate to CA or somewhere on West Coast. Time will tell what they decide. He attended school in LA and D lives there and both have many friends in CA.
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So did he propose to her in Hawaii (so you could be part of it soon after??) ???
Not being nosy but just happy for you and reading your post above it seems to indicate that he was in Hawaii for the engagement.
Nopeāhe proposed in the morning just before he left her to fly to HI to surprise us for Easter. Heās my no drama kid. He didnāt tell anyone he was engaged so before he left I asked if it was a secret and he said it wasnāt and we were free to share the news as we chose. He doesnāt like the spotlight so just mentioned it as he flew back out of town because I asked.
I had been holding back as I felt the news was his to share or not share.
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Sell the diamond, invest in a 529 for their children.
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I would do that anyway. I donāt think diamonds generally bring what they are, āworth,ā when they are re-sold in a secondary market. I did have the stone appraised and was given, āreplacement cost,ā which I am sure would be significantly more than I could sell it for.
Congrats!! So very exciting!
I am needing to find the fair market value of a diamond so that its value can be divided among some people (probably one of us will buy the others out, if at all possible). I called an assessor and asked for a valuation based on that need, and they said they would be happy to provide that. I donāt think Iāll get a written document, but fortunately that wonāt be necessary for my purposes.
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Yes, that is what I had done as well.
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MMRose, that is a tough value to determine. Say you had a GIA diamond wedding set appraised at $20k, youād be able to maybe get a deal at some jewelers and replace it for $10k, but that jeweler might only pay you $5k to buy it. What is the real fair value?
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I think for our purposes the value we are looking for is what we could get if we sold it as is today.
I would imagine your issues with this father in law went deeper than engagement rings!
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I gotta agree with you there. Joining a site focused on college to disparage a FILās stupidity decades ago has obviously left some long-standing scars.
Regarding the topicā¦ I think itās perfectly acceptable to offer a family ring/setting/stone, and just as acceptable to say āno thank youā. Eventually, someone else is going to be wearing it, so you might as well offer it up to people who would appreciate it.
My wife is wearing a setting my grandmother gave us. After finding a stone, I was telling my grandmother about the type of setting I wanted, when she said āIāve got one of those that Iām not using if you want itā. It was EXACTLY what I was looking for (only more valuable). Platinum, round, with diamond baguettes. Sheād āupgradedā the stone to yellow gold in the 70s.
The ring means more to my wife because it was my grandmotherās setting.
The other pointā¦if the marriage ends, itās proper to return the family jewelry. If there are kids, then eventually itāll end up in the same placeā¦so donāt fight over it.