<p>well, my grandpa has cancer, I'm a senior in hs, and i thought that i could compartamenalize all of that, but i am really worried about him and it does make it hard to go about live day to day. It all seems so unimportant, he's dying and im appying to college. So I have a question. I have like 2 D's in honors classes and im woundering if I should ask my GC to send a letter explaining this sitution. Should I? what do u guys think?</p>
<p>I am so sorry to hear about this. Yes, you should ask your GC to explain the Ds and about your grandpa. It's better that the explanation come from the GC rather than you.</p>
<p>My best wishes for you and your family in these very tough times.</p>
<p>I think you need to take a deep breath, Let Go and Let God.</p>
<p>My older son was voted "Worst Senior Slump" in his class because my mother died unexpectedly and it really threw him for a loop. You don't have to let this happen to you.</p>
<p>What you need to do is go see your grandfather now, talk to him, tell him everything about what you are doing, hoping for, and planning. Spend this time over your break with him. Don't be embarrassed or uncomfortable, and don't ask him a lot of questions about his condition. You being there talking about yourself will be a great relief to him, because it will take his mind off himself. Not only that, but it will reassure him that he is important for himself, and not just because he's sick. Take in all your stuff from HSC--show him what makes you so excited about it.</p>
<p>If he's too far away to visit, call every day. It doesn't have to be a long call, just a very short thinking-about-you-and-here's-what-I'm-doing chat. Send him a get well card every other day--the sillier the better.</p>
<p>Of course you are worried about your grandfather, but the outcome of his illness is not within your control. It is the lack of control that causes all of us to do self-destructive things, like letting your schoolwork drop. You have to accept it, and be satisfied with what you can do. You know in your heart that your grandfather would be horrified to think that his illness was to be a legacy of disappointment for you, yes?</p>
<p>You've applied ED to Hampden Sydney, right? If the mid-year grades will be sent to them before the decision is made, then yes, ask your GC to send a note along explaining the circumstances, and also that you are going to take care of the situation. You are going to concentrate on the things that you can control, and turn the rest over to God (however you may or may not conceive of Him).</p>
<p>There are many of us here at CC thinking of you and your grandfather, Wabash.</p>
<p>Thanks so much for your support and no I did'nt apply ED I'm applying EA.</p>
<p>Well I don't want this to seem like an excuse</p>
<p>Wabash, it's not an excuse, it's a reason. And it's perfectly sensible to allow your GC to offer this information, especially if your recent HS performance is atypical. Wyogal offers a wonderful perspective on this. The older we get, the more we understand about the fragility of life. It's very difficult to deal with loss anytime, but especially when you are young. The suggestion to talk about your goals and experiences to your grandfather is great. When people are ill -- especially if the outcome does not look promising -- it's a relief to talk about normal things. The important thing is to just keep on going in your daily life -- I'm sure that's what your grandfather would want. My prayers are with you and your family.</p>
<p>Well he going thu kemo and fairing well, he could be dead by the end of the holiday season or with in the next 5 years.</p>
<p>I saw my GC today. Today was the last day of finals so it was a half day. She said that that yes she would write the letter but that I needed to write one first explaining the situation for her.</p>
<p>That seems fair. The more details you can provide her, the more she can put into her letter.</p>
<p>That sounds like a good idea. My GC mentioned my mother's struggles with cancer in my rec in a sentence or two, but never wrote anything long about it. My grades never fell, though.</p>
<p>What kind of info should I provide? My sister's grades didn't fall.</p>
<p>Suffering is different for everyone. If your grades have been consistent for four years and have just now faltered, this explains why.</p>
<p>Your sister may hit a tailspin in 6 months or a year. Grief is very unpredictable. </p>
<p>Your grandfather must be a very improtant person in your life. </p>
<p>My grandmother was the same. Her death was terribly painful for me. The most healing, helpful thing I remember was being able to sit by her side when she was dying and to tell her how much I cherished having had the kind of loving, incredible, responsive, A+ grandmother she had always been. I told her that, though she would not be around to see it, I'd be that kind of grandmother to my future grandchildren. I said, "your great, great grandchildren will have the same kind of grandma you have been to me. That's the only way I can repay you." And though she was struggling to breathe and very very close to death she smiled broadly and said, "That's good."</p>
<p>Make sure you let your grandpa know how much his love and devotion came through to you and how it has made your life beautiful.</p>
<p>its strange. He never was one to say "i love u" or anything (Air Force) but now he says it more often.</p>
<p>Wabash, we can all still grow. Your granddad is still growing. That's why the "I love you's" are coming now. Because he can , that's all. Wyogal's got it nailed. Do what she and the other moms say. </p>
<p>From my perspective just sitting there and holding his hand might be just about right for an old AF man (my dad, too). Sometimes talking just gets in the way of communicating the important stuff.</p>
<p>What kinds of info should you provide? How long has your grandpa been ailing? How much his illness has affected you psychologically? In other ways?
As others say, the illness and imminent death of a loved one affects each person differently. The GC will be writing about you.
Wyogal wrote a beautiful post (I wish I had written it myself). Heed it. Spend time with your grandpa; let him know you love him. Let him tell you he loves you. Ask him to share his life story with you. If he does not feel like talking, just be there for him.</p>