<p>zipyourlips, it looks as though 100% of the people on this thread--you and I-- who will admit to being from the Midwest don't actually think it would be too strange to email the roommate's mother . . . at least, if the college is in one of the categories that I mentioned in an earlier post. I think of myself as a rather private person, but it wouldn't have bothered me to receive an email, particularly if the message seemed friendly and natural. Posters on this forum are always advising the students, "just be yourself." Doesn't that apply to parents, too?</p>
<p>^^Nope. I'm from the midwest, go to a smallish LAC (it's not so small for an LAC, but is still much smaller than most colleges). Still think calling/emailing the roomie's mom is weird. Most (all?) people subscribe to some form of etiquette beyond being themselves 100% of the time, plus the OP <em>did</em> ask if it would be weird, so I don't think there's anything wrong with the advice she's getting.</p>
<p>Ok, advantagious, you got me on a technicality--but I have to point out that in post #44, I did rule out Chicago.</p>
<p>On the one hand, I'd respect my daughter's wishes, and not contact her roommate's mother, if my daughter thought it was too weird. On the other hand, I started to write that I wouldn't "do anything" that my daughter thought was too weird, and then reflected that my choice of friends, occupation, food, clothing, home location, vacation spots, etc. are all in the "weird" category for my daughter--in fact, I just had my jeans criticized today. And with all respect, advantagious, you seem to be a student and not a parent.</p>
<p>Midwest here, too. Contacting parents goes beyond friendly -- it's helicoptering. Reminds me of elementary school when your child wants to bring a new friend home after school and the other child's parent calls to check you out.</p>
<p>Ok, I surrender. (But heck, InOhio, I didn't call to check anyone out when my daughter was in elementary school, I drove her to the friend's house and really checked them out ;) )</p>
<p>I made my daughter's date drive me around first before I would let him drive her, does that count?</p>
<p>Hmm, never did that, oldfort--should've thought of it ;)</p>
<p>Sorry, this is a bit off topic, but actually, it occurs to me, InOhio, you would have really looooved my daughter's high school. The Parents Group came up with the idea of having the parents sign a card pledging not to serve alcohol to high school students, not to hold an unchaperoned party in their home, AND whenever their son/daughter was invited to a party, to call the parents hosting the party ahead of time. In fact, the principal's messages in the newsletters always used to include the statement, "Remember to CALL and VERIFY."</p>
<p>The kicker was that the student directory showed a star next to the name of each student whose parents had signed the "pledge." Personally, I thought it was stupid and intrusive (D has graduated, at last this can be said). However, I didn't want D to be stigmatized in the community where we live--she was right, it IS weird. So we signed it, as did more than 99% of the other parents. The pledge to call was honored more in the breach than in the observance, but I always did contact the other parents--since I had signed a pledge to do so--even though my daughter thought that it was beyond weird (and I thought that it was beyond stupid).</p>
<p>You'd loooove our school where the seniors play "Senior Tag" in May and try to assassinate each other with squirt guns -- except that you can't be killed if you're naked -- yep, they run around naked. Now, back on topic.</p>
<p>lol, InOhio.</p>
<p>Having just used the adjectives "stupid" and "intrusive" in my last post, I suppose I have no standing to argue that we should all just respect (or at least tolerate) each other's customs! But . . . </p>
<p>I do differentiate between school-mandated contact and a spontaneous, friendly message by email. </p>
<p>Still, I suppose the OP has the answer that quite a few people would find it too weird--regional and college-type restrictions don't seem to protect against this.</p>
<p>audiophile: does this vary by state? My S in Illinois was able to get his first apt. (actually a house with 6 other friends) before he was 21. He called me to discuss it, but I didn't have to sign anything! And I know he had to sign some sort of agreement and put down a deposit.</p>
<p>Sorry folks...my comment ended up on the wrong thread for some reason. I am puzzled! It's too late to edit or remove it, so just ignore, please......</p>
<p>I gave my email address to sapling's new roomates for their parents last year and I will never hear the end of it from sapling. Don't do it. </p>
<p>I would also delay the goodie bags.</p>
<p>Things that seem warm and welcoming to some us, creep out other people.</p>