<p>I was watching a show the other night about shipwrecks in the Great Lakes and one of the experts said something like "these things occur only when several separate factors come together to create a disaster and had any of those factors been absent, nothing would have happened" and that's how I view this, althought I will plea to being compulsive.</p>
<p>I'm not getting how having a parent say hello to another parent is indicative of a lack of maturity of the student. I'd look at the intention. I'd just take it that the parents are friendly and welcoming. Now if they started getting involved in which kid gets the bottom bunk and telling me what small appliances I'm expected to provide, then that's overbearing and obnoxious. It's all about the context to me.</p>
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I'm not getting how having a parent say hello to another parent is indicative of a lack of maturity of the student. I'd look at the intention. I'd just take it that the parents are friendly and welcoming. Now if they started getting involved in which kid gets the bottom bunk and telling me what small appliances I'm expected to provide, then that's overbearing and obnoxious. It's all about the context to me.
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<p>I just think it's that most people see the parents of your kid's roommate as nothing more than the parents of your kid's roommate. If you run into them at the school then you have some nice friendly chit chat, but other than that there's really no need to be in communication with them... they're not your inlaws and you're not having them over for Thanksgiving dinner or anything. </p>
<p>If someone's parents called me up to ask questions that the child (now young adult) should be asking then yes I would think it's a bit odd and think "why can't the kid be doing these things themselves?" If they just called to say hello and nothing else I'd of course be nice, but it would still seem a little odd...</p>
<p>^^There's just no need, electronblue. I don't even understand the point. If you are concerned about emergency numbers, bring a list or have them program your # in at the move-in date. But to just say "hi"? Totally unnecessary and, for the vast majority of people here, weird/cringe worthy/intrusive/whatever. So the prudent choice seems to be not to do it.</p>
<p>I agree that there is no need to maintain contact with parents of roommates. I do not even know the last names of my kids' roommates. Also, what happens if and when your kid has a single or goes abroad?</p>
<p>Personally, if someone gave my kid a present on move-in day or soon afterward, I would feel obligated to reciprocate. That's not something I'd want to get into. My kids share any goodies that they get in packages (which they don't get too often!) and their roommates share with them.</p>
<p>IMO, this is the beginning of a new stage of their lives. If there was an emergency, I'd hope that my kids' friends would have the good sense to tell someone (RA, etc.) so that we'd get a call home. And unless my kids were unconscious, they'd call themselves.</p>
<p>My kids both have ICE programmed into their cell phones (which are permanently attached to them anyway.)</p>
<p>Op</p>
<p>Yes and no. It is cringe-worthy and praise-worthy to have contact with roomie's parents.</p>
<p>Someone will think you're weird no matter what you do.</p>
<p>BethieVt: Yes that person that will think I am weird is more than likely my own child.</p>
<p>I had decided to not respond anymore, but the cab is talking, I guess. I think it is hysterical that CC parents, who are involved in SAT dates, senior year course selection, SAT prep, college visits, college applications and all the rest (not to mention the packing-for-college threads), suddenly see their kids as "too adult" for them to contact a roommate's parents a couple of weeks after graduation about who's gonna bring the shower curtain. </p>
<p>Especially boys, who don't even realize they NEED a shower curtain. My oldest is a senior in college next year. He deals 100% with his stuff. There is a HUGE difference between a kid who has been away from home for 2-3 years and a kid who is, for all intents and purposes, moving into his first apartment at age (barely) 18.</p>
<p>Props to all the folks who can afford to make all these decisions at Target after move-in day freshman year. Frankly, I'd rather shop the sales, after a chat with the other moms-of-boys-who-don't-think-about-brooms.</p>
<p>As to the comment that some "adults" live on mom and dad's dime into middle-age... well, that is NOT what I am aiming for, and NOT what I would consider an adult. As long as I am buying the shower curtains and microwaves and george foreman grills, my kids are only pseudo-adults, and for them to think otherwise is delusional. </p>
<p>FWIW, my son's best friends at college are his roommates, and I <gasp> did speak to one mom before move-in day. <shudder></shudder></gasp></p>
<p>Every college we've ever visited has bathrooms that come with shower curtains.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, if a parent called me to ask about who should bring one (or a frig, or anything, for that matter,) my answer would be for the boys to talk and work it out. Personally, I would think it's really odd to get that call.</p>
<p>^^Exactly. Plus, it's like, what's the worst case scenario--neither boy brings a shower curtain? Not exactly the end of the world (they'll either figure out how to get one, or end up with some very wet bathroom floors!). A last minute trip to Target for a shower curtain isn't going to break the bank, anyway.</p>
<p>Every kid should have I.C.E. (In Case of Emergency) programmed into his/her cell phone along with the name and number of the doctor that is used at home. Frankly, adults should have that too.</p>
<p>Are we on the same message board?
<a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/549050-am-i-missing-something.html%5B/url%5D">http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/549050-am-i-missing-something.html</a></p>
<p>Wow. Many parents are going to help their kids with getting lists together of what to pack. In fact, many parents are going to shop for their kids ... especially the boys who are not particularly interested in sheets and such. However, there's a big difference between helping your own kid out and calling the roommate's parents to coordinate. </p>
<p>I would not have a problem asking my kid to check with his/her future roommate as to who's bringing the frig/microwave. Checking with the roommate's mother or father is a whole different story.</p>
<p>And then there's this thread ...</p>
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Wow. Many parents are going to help their kids with getting lists together of what to pack. In fact, many parents are going to shop for their kids ... especially the boys who are not particularly interested in sheets and such. However, there's a big difference between helping your own kid out and calling the roommate's parents to coordinate.
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<p>Exactly. It's the difference between providing helpful guidance as a child makes a big step in their life and showing up at college with the umbilical cord still attached.</p>
<p>Overall, the way I see it:</p>
<p>Chances that sharing emails with roommates mom directly will help forestall an emergency?--1 in many thousands.</p>
<p>Chances someone will negatively judge my kid because of my overall over-officiousness?--much more likely.</p>
<p>All numbers made up but based on life observances.</p>
<p>Results--put it in kid's hands.</p>
<p>I don't plan to call D's roommate's mom to introduce myself. However, should roommate's mom call me I would consider it a friendly gesture and would welcome the contact. I was raised in the midwest, what can I say? </p>
<p>OP, I find your plans (though they might not be your plans any more!) thoughtful and kind.</p>
<p>I pay for my daughter's cell phone, so from our online record I have every single person (cell #) she texts. In case of emergency I would have over 200+ people I could call. I would most likely try the number she has texted the most often. So, the roommate's mother would be the last person I would call.</p>
<p>" think it is hysterical that CC parents, who are involved in SAT dates, senior year course selection, SAT prep, college visits, college applications and all the rest (not to mention the packing-for-college threads), suddenly see their kids as "too adult" for them to contact a roommate's parents a couple of weeks after graduation about who's gonna bring the shower curtain. "</p>
<p>I would compare helping a kid with their course selection to helping a kid get their packing list together for college.</p>
<p>I would compare calling an incoming h.s. senior's teacher to find out the course syllabus to calling the parent of an incoming college student's roommate.</p>
<p>The first situation would be what I'd call providing guidance and support to an offspring who's strengthening their wings to fly the nest.</p>
<p>The second would be what I'd call keeping the umbilical cord attached.</p>
<p>I don't know about the rest of you, but I have plenty of phone numbers of people that I never intend to contact, but have for emergencies. My 90 year old grandmother's male companion and the name of her doctor. She can handle both of them on her own <em>g</em> but she's halfway across the country, so why wouldn't I have their phone numbers in case of emergency. My husband has the cell phone number of my business partner (who I frequently travel with) because just in case there's a real emergency and he can't reach me, he could potentially reach her. These are the types of numbers I'm used to having just for an ICE situation, not because I'm going to call and chat with these folks.</p>