<p>She's almost 60 and she's dying and she's sad. And because she is sad and lost she is abusive. I wish i didn't have to be conscious of her existence. I wish she lived in the house across the street, whose occupants I do not know. </p>
<p>The problem is that she has very little perspective, very little understanding of the universe or anything and she doesn't even have religion either, if only she could be consoled by religion. She knows she's abusive though, but she can't help it. She's smart enough to be remorseful, but not smart enough to not be abusive, to think more carefully about what she says, and so on. </p>
<p>Also, I am the source of her sadness. She wishes I did more normal things. We have completely different values. I refuse to ever go out and have dinner with her, because I refuse to allow her to overpay for unhealthy food for me, when she won't pay for the reasonably priced (and healthy) food I want. Also I hate movies and Tv, generally. They just make me sad when they're over (or if they're particularly bad, throughout, because they don't even keep my attention away from the fact that they feel pointless to me).</p>
<p>She has no purpose to her life, no purpose; and her life is expiring. God, it's hard to watch. I hate being around old people who are suffering. They don't even have a chance to make their lives better. It's one health complication after another. </p>
<p>Anyways, who knows anything about flow networks or graph theory :D?</p>
<p>lol it’s ok. I feel bad for people if they feel they have to think of advice for me. I will tell her though!</p>
<p>also if you factor in the health care costs, maybe not. or like if being overweight makes it harder for you to find a job, or if it makes you less happy (so you end up compensatating with materialistic things, etc).</p>
<p>I’m not sure if it’s what the OP intended (and if it is I apologize), but I really don’t detect hatred in this post whatsoever. I think he’s just sick of seeing his mom’s degeneration and suffering, and seems more sympathic than hateful.</p>
<p>I’m sorry futurexecutive, not that a post from a stranger on CC can really help, but I really really feel for you and want to offer my sympathy.</p>
<p>Wow, you sound like an ass OP. She’s the one that brought you in this life and you can’t even spend time with her as she’s slowly aging and could be her time soon. It’s no wonder why she act the way she do. My father passed away 3 years ago and I regret everyday not spending more time with him.</p>
<p>When you say she is dying, do you say this because she is getting old or because she has a health condition?
60 years old does not necessarily equal ‘dying’. I know plenty of people who are well over 60.
If you want her to have a happy life, have her take up activities that she enjoys. That way she won’t spend time being depressed. Also consider having her volunteer at a soup kitchen. My local homeless shelter is 90% old people (much older than your mother) but they all love it there and it is a very warm and friendly environment. Hope she feels better soon and be sure to tell her that you love her. :)</p>
<p>I will, of course, regret everything even slightly wrong I ever did to my mom when she dies. Anything that even made her slightly sad. This is what happens when a close family member dies. I will, at times, not even understand why I acted the way I did, and I will be confused and sad.</p>
<p>However, knowing this can’t change anything now. Maybe when she’s frail it will; her physical state will continually modify how I act towards her; but knowing that she will be that way has very little effect on what happens currently. The only way it would have an effect would be if I kept it in my mind that she was going to be old, and that she was going to die, whenever I interacted with her. I don’t see that as a viable solution to our problems.</p>
<p>aerobug, that’s a very nice reply! yeah, part of her problem is she got a new, higher paying job, which has not been as warm or friendly as her previous jobs.</p>
<p>enfieldacademy, I just want to say that I love you even if I’ve only read like two of your threads. You’re like a less neurotic AOM, and He is my idol</p>
<p>I read some of his threads recently. you know, there was a very sad pathos to many of his posts. I found some of them very hard to read. If he should be idolized it should be with certain understandings…</p>