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Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>Hey guys! Just wondering if you could please do me the favour of grading my SAT essay? I would appreciate it very much! its from the BB test 5... I filled up all the space, and this is the exact essay that I wrote in 25 minutes (no edit)
I'd really appreciate any honest feedback I can get, along with an essay score! Thanks!</p>

<p>Prompt: Do we need other people in order to understand ourselves?</p>

<pre><code> People see themselves embodied in other people. Often, a search for one's own identity begins with the search for another's. In order to understand ourselves, we must comprehend others.

The people around us act as mirrors. They portray the most clandestine canvases of our minds, that we can only envision through the eyes of others. I consider myself to be a solid example of the impact others have on understanding yourself. For a number of my pre-adolescent years, I pondered the reasons for my mediocre grades in physical education. Was I lazy? Was I utterly hopeless at coordinated activities?

I did not quite receive the answer to these questions until I reached my first year of high school. On the first day of gym class, I walked into the gymnasium, and I could see myself nearly everywhere I glanced. Many of my peers had been struggling in the same ways as I had been. And it wasn't until I understood their behaviour, that I realized the secret behind my sub-par performances in physical education. It was not that I was lazy. Rather, I did not grasp the importance of physical education in our daily routines, and therefore did not possess the will power to succeed. From that day forward, I have always placed an emphasis on the importance of my personal effort in physical recreation.

The idea of understanding oneself through another is also evident in literature. Throughout the popular Harry Potter series, the protagonist, Harry, is seeking for self-understanding. Growing up with his negligent aunt and uncle in a secluded, suburban house, Harry did not have anyone through which to discover himself. However, upon acceptance at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the peer-enriched environment enabled him to begin to understand himself.

It is common for human beings to have issues when it comes to self identity. However, if we seek understanding of ourselves through others, it is likely that we will be rid of these dilemmas.
</code></pre>

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<p>3-4. I don't really understand your example on physical education. As I see it, your second and third paragraph aren't very strong. Conciseness and clarity will help you better than sheer volume (though studies have shown that there is a correlation ebtween length and grade) </p>

<p>The second example is too general. "peer-enriched" is rather weak and you can supplement it with more informatin on how he understands himself.</p>

<p>Fyi, steamedrice has a thread where he gives excellent advice.</p>

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<p>thanks :)</p>

<p>10-char</p>

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<p>3 out of 6</p>

5

<p>4 or 5... not sure
try using another example instead of the phyical education</p>

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<ol>
<li>Your introduction and conclusion are underdeveloped, and your examples are too vague. Don't use harry potter, and don't use personal examples.</li>
</ol>

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<p>Your first example needs to developed better. I have to agree with Quix to quite an extent. Normally, personal examples are boring. Why? They are neither convincing nor insightful. So unless you have an extremely unique, provocative, and emotional experience (heart attack, tumor, death, husband dying on the Titanic) don't use one! Stick with examples from literature and/or history.</p>

<p>The second: Unless it's an extremely strong and fitting incident from Harry Potter, don't use it! Just about every third taker in the 1000-1500 range writes something about Harry Potter. It's far too common... and it also gives a slightly childish impression.</p>

<p>A classic example that I would've used would be of Miss Havisham and Pip in Great Expectations. It was through Pip's unfaltering politeness and kindness that Miss Havisham rediscovered her humane character, and realized how she had wronged both him and Estella with her hatred for men.</p>

<p>Or maybe how Estella learns that she is actually capable of love through Pip - though a more learned reader could argue that it was her difficulties in marriage, and not Pip, that brought about this change.</p>