Opinions on a rough draft for commonapp?

<p>This is for the "Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence." I'm not sure if it's too casual or not focused enough. Is it horrible? Be honest! Thanks!</p>

<p>I’ll read it, pm it to me:)</p>

<p>thanks, I just sent it!</p>

<p>Sure, just send it over! :)</p>

<p>I just sent it. Thanks!</p>