<p>And actually, in some states, it is legal to be 18 and in a bar and not drink. "Who's driving?" would be my question after I told D to not let the parents provide her with beer. I would talk to the family for more details...</p>
<p>Oh, and yes, I would probably go !!</p>
<p>How well do you know the boy's family? Do they love your daughter or do they barely know her?</p>
<p>If you know them well and you know they care about your daughter, I would ask them to please make sure your daughter does not harm herself in any way. Personally, I find black and white statements work the best; ie "We would prefer that she stick to root beer--or--at the most--one or two beers for the entire evening."</p>
<p>I would make the same statement to your D, reminding her that drunkeness is not a good look in front of the boyfriend's parents.<br>
If any of the above conversations gives you an uneasy feeling, you might join the crawl at Pub # 4 or #5 and check your D's condition.</p>
<p>soozie...you make me laugh. ;)</p>
<p>As a parent, I would never choose to invite my underage child's boyfriend/girlfriend to a "pub crawl." There are so many other wonderful summer activities to attend: family barbecues, clam bakes, fairs,etc. Why choose an activity that centers around bars and drinking??</p>
<p>Any place that serves food will allow minors in, pubs are generally like that...often the places stop serving food and IDs are checked</p>
<p>usually, minors are not allowed to sit at the bar</p>
<p>And nothing wrong with mom going at all!! It could be fun...and mom doesn't have to drink at all</p>
<p>Me, I often have OJ with club soda and a dash of cranberry, takes good, isn't tooooo fattening, and looks pretty</p>
<p>I would take the parents up on the invitation and would go along in order to find out exactly what their idea of fun was. (After all, who knows, they may someday be your in-laws!). </p>
<p>I also would be telling my kid that I would not expect him/her to drink alcohol.</p>
<p>Assuming that their family's idea of a pub crawl is what's been described on this thread -- going from bar to bar and drinking-- frankly, that's not my idea of fun. I truly don't see what could possibly be fun about that. Watching people get drunk? Getting drunk in a variety of places?</p>
<p>I am baffled that anyone could view this as family fun, but I would go to get a very good look at what kind of family my kid's sig other came from. I also would want to be familiar with their habits so as to be able to reflect on their habits my kid. By "reflect," I don't mean being heavy-handed with criticism if it ended up that their idea of family fun was getting drunk together. I mean that if family drunkenness was fun for them, I'd ask my kid later, "What did you think of the pub crawl?" "Is that something you'd like to do every year?"</p>
<p>i don't have an issue with the idea of a pub crawl....instead of hanging out in just one place, moving around, so long as the transporation has been taken care of</p>
<p>Hey, at family parties,bbqs, people can get drunk as well, if they are that type, location is not relevant</p>
<p>Some pubs have good food, pool, darts, music- if its irish pubs, they might have a session on...</p>
<p>to me it good be fun, if there was stuff to do at the locations- a band, games, etc. and it is actually a good way to see a family at its rawest....usually people are all proper...</p>
<p>Hard to say exactly what's meant, Northstarmom, by an Americanized version of a pub crawl--which is definitely one reason I'd go.</p>
<p>They're common in Ireland, particularly Dublin. But pubs are not the same there as we usually think of them here. Go in at lunchtime and you'll see schoolkids, fishermen, bankers, nuns, tourists, shopkeepers, just about everyone in town. Go in at suppertime and you'll likely see the same, except for the schoolkids. If you want to hear the best music in Ireland, hit the pubs about 11 p.m. Crawls are so popular they're institutionalized (note that 18 and under are not allowed on this one):
<a href="http://www.viator.com/tours/Dublin/2932MPC/Traditional-Irish-Musical-Pub-Crawl/?pref=02&aid=g1140&gclid=CPy1q7OmpYYCFTuJLAodNCbQcQ%5B/url%5D">http://www.viator.com/tours/Dublin/2932MPC/Traditional-Irish-Musical-Pub-Crawl/?pref=02&aid=g1140&gclid=CPy1q7OmpYYCFTuJLAodNCbQcQ</a></p>
<p>I've been in "authentic" Irish pubs in America that feature Irish food, games, music, usually a gift shop and such--but also microbreweries. You can usually buy shotglass-size samples of that brewery's specialties. If you can find one of those that also does rootbeer, it'll probably be the best you've ever tasted! One I know is very family oriented. They have their own Gaelic bagpipers and a Notre Dame room filled with memorabilia where alumni can sign a guest book. </p>
<p>But let's not kid ourselves. They're called "crawls" for a reason. So yeah. I'm with you and the other parents on this thread. Since the OP didn't specify anything about this pub crawl, I'd be open-minded but cautious--especially where an 18-year-old is concerned. As for the frozen custard and fish fry crawls, bring 'em on! :)</p>
<p>I would absolutely not let my underage child attend the pub crawl. What on earth are these kids supposed to do when they are not admitted to the bars and the adults are in there drinking? Stand on the sidewalk? What kind of fun is that? Unless they plan on trying to get them in....</p>
<p>I've been on one in Montreal as married adult, and everyone was totally drunk. Not only that, but because of the roaming from bar to bar, there were lots of drunken people in the street too, a formula for trouble.</p>
<p>Another consideration is that for a successful pub crawl, the bars need to be plentiful and close together so that you can easily walk from one to the other. Any need for driving would be dangerous and stupid.</p>
<p>As an alternative, I might suggest letting my daughter invite her BF to our house and plan some fun events that they can participate in. The BF might be really glad to not be dragged on the pub crawl.</p>
<p>I wouldn't let my daughter go, mostly because pub crawls model the kind of drinking behavior that I wouldn't want her to think is condoned - ie, a lot of beer in a short time period, the notion of enforced drinking ( gotta have a drink at each establishment), and that it is okay to drink underage. It just doesn't model responsible drinking to the underage kids attending, and that is the most important part of letting kids see adults drinking alcohol - that we show them what responsible use of alcohol looks like - I have a beer after I mow the lawn, but aren't out playing flipcup with the neighbors all afternoon. </p>
<p>I am not saying kids don't drink underage, but there is a big difference when parents condone it and when they do not. If it is okay for her to go to this event underage, what else might she think was okay with you? What is the difference between this event and another drinking-focused event, like flipcup, or pre-gaming at college?</p>
<p>Many bars won't allow underage people in, because they don't want to risk their license, or it is illegal to let in underage people. Depends upon local laws.</p>
<p>By the way, if she is caught with false ID, or if she does drink via someone else's ordering, she could get arrested or a citation, depending upon where she is. Doesn't sound like a good way to start college. Can also be expensive and traumatic. </p>
<p>Question the wisdom of parents inviting an underage person to bars for a night out. What happens if she can't get in somewhere? Do they skip that bar or does she hang out by herself? Do they stand outside with her? Shouldn't you have more information about this "event"?</p>
<p>Are these pubs within walking distance of each other, or is there going to be driving between? Are the 18 year olds the designated drivers?</p>
<p>When I originally read the first post, I had no idea what a pub crawl is. It sounded like some community oriented festival where the adults might be drinking but the underage family members would not but it was a gathering of sorts. I'm not so clear on it now. So, I think that calling up the boyfriend's parents and asking very specific questions of what is involved and what they intend for the underage kids to be doing and what their own expectations are for their son and the level of supervision with regard to drinking, etc. are things to ask about, as well as various questions raised in recent posts. Is it an event where those under 21 also attend but simply are not served but it is a social gathering? They did ask this mom if she wanted to join them so it appeared as if it was on the up and up that the kids would be supervised in some fashion by adults and her own daughter does know her standards. However, once she does go to college, she'll be on her own and have to decide whether to participate and to what degree in gatherings where there is drinking going on. Prior to college, I'd have said no but once they go and are engaged in these sorts of situations anyway, I'm not sure I'd go back to high school standards of where I let them go, etc.</p>
<p>I agree with soozievt. I did not know what it was either. It is hard for me to believe that a boyfriend's parents are inviting you and your D to a drunken bar hopping activity where there is a possibility that the 18 year olds could get into trouble with the law, and worse, getting involved in possible DWI and wind up in an awful car accident. This activity sounds like it could be more risky than anything that I had imagined, so I would definitely call and find out what this about. I would first talk to your D though, as she may have some of the answers to these questions.</p>
<p>OP, you've been invited, why not just go too? Best case it is a nice family tradition and you will have a chance to meet bf's charming family. Worse case, they have different values than you and are a drunken bunch of yahoos. Even if your daughter is a fine, upstanding woman, this may be an event that is over her head to handle well.</p>
<p>As a general rule, I am most concerned about parties at the end-of or beginning-of any period. With all the heightened exhiliration, those seem to be the times when things go wrong and someone ends up hurt or worse. This may just be generally parenting paranoia on my part</p>
<p>And, having been one of the few parents here who has been on a pub crawl, it is a social activity centered around drinking.</p>
<p>
[quote]
And, having been one of the few parents here who has been on a pub crawl, it is a social activity centered around drinking.
[/quote]
Yes, but so is winetasting, and it is very common for families to spend a day visiting area wineries with the kids in tow. No one serves alcohol to the kids. </p>
<p>So I think that Soozievt is right - more questions are in order.</p>
<p>OP wrote: "It's only one day and night she will come home same night" which is why I asked "who's driving?''</p>
<p>drinks are fine as long as you don't get caught ;) that's the college rule of thumb</p>
<p>I was very surprised at the initial "pro" votes I was reading. I can't imagine anything worse - watching a group of adults who do this annually as 'fun' - it is, no matter what the particulars may be, an activity centered around drinking and your d. is underage. How could it possibly be fun to watch? When kids drink at colleges, at least they're with their peers and staying in one place (probably not driving around) and KNOW what they're doing is illegal so might try to be more careful. - and it hasn't been given a parental seal of approval. I think more questions for the b.f.'s parents are in order (maybe including "what's wrong with you people?").</p>
<p>I am pro going because I'd very much want to find out exactly what kind of people might be my future in-laws. If I were in the situation and went, I'd also make it clear beforehand to my kid that I expected her not to drink, and I also would be making sure that I was the designated driver.</p>
<p>Assuming that a pub crawl means going from bar to bar getting drunk, that's definitely not my idea of fun. Even if it doesn't involve getting drunk, I don't see what the fun is in spending a night visiting lots of bars.</p>