<p>One cannot assume that other parents necessarily have good judgement about themselves or their own lives. I don't think I could stomach a "pub crawl" so assuming it is alcohol-based, it would seem strange to sanction it for an underaged person, especially going alone. I think I would have said no to it in the first place. Too many complications possible, and sends the wrong message. </p>
<p>Quote: "drinks are fine as long as you don't get caught that's the college rule of thumb"</p>
<p>Do you really want another discussion of underage drinking, the consequences, and risks? Or about what happens if you do get caught?</p>
<p>NSM is right (again) - as the parent, you should get to know as much as you can about the family of your d's b.f. This isn't the time to push your d. away and the b.f. might be a perfectly nice kid.</p>
<p>It will be interesting to get a report back from the OP. It still sounds like a Chevy Chase movie to me...."National Lampoon's Family Pub Crawl."</p>
<p>After reading all of these posts, I must recommend that the OP cancels sending D to college and keeps her at home and safe forever. I've heard underage drinking occurs there.</p>
<p>And no more social events with anyone over 21, especially at her friend's homes. Their parents might have wine with dinner or smoke a cigarette, thus exposing dear D to all kinds of dangerous activities! And what if they don't wash their hands after using the toilet!!!</p>
<p>Sounds like this girl is growing up and might have to make her own decisions. What is the world coming to?</p>
<p>The OP does not have enough information, even if she wants to allow her daughter to attend the event. What will the minors do while the adults are in the bar drinking? Do the adults intend to order drinks for the minors? Are they to stand on the sidewalk with the bouncer? How many bars are on the tour? Will there be driving between bars? Who will drive home? These are things I would want to know.</p>
<p>It is possible that the OP's daughter doesn't really know what is involved in a pub crawl. Many of the adults here did not. I just don't see how a pub crawl would be fun if you can't participate. Maybe the under-21 folks would be just as happy to plan some other event that can actually include them.</p>
<p>lkf725--18 year olds are not minors. They are legal adults responsible for their own actions. They are simply not legally allowed to drink alcohol.</p>
<p>Can you imagine an annual family event where part of the group goes into a building to socialize and the others stand out on the street? Why would you invite anyone to this? I have a feeling they'll be inside sipping a juice or soda and enjoying themselves!</p>
<p>Let's not analyze this to death. It sounds like an annual family social event. Who knows, maybe the boyfriend's parents might drink Cokes and not wind up rolling on the sidewalk puking or driving DWI!</p>
<p>OP's daughter will be with her 19 year old boyfriend. The two of them will easily find something fun to do with each other that doesn't involved drinking. They will probably be happy to walk outside of the pubs to do it. Since the other adults will be drinking, they won't be paying too close attention. It is the last weekend before the daughter is going off to school and away from her bf. </p>
<p>Whether the OP wants to be there or not, or how the OP feels, I don't know. But the last thing anyone has to worry about is whether the 2 youngsters will be able to keep themselves entertained without drinking. </p>
<p>(Note: I am the parent of an 18 year old d. with a 19 year old boyfriend.)</p>
<p>Maybe you are right baseballmom. But in my area, under-21 folks are not allowed into a bar even if not drinking, and if they are in a restaurant with a bar, they are not allowed to sit on a stool at the bar, even to eat. (Actually, I've run into this on vacation in other states, too). It would probably pay to check ahead of time.</p>
<p>You would knowingly allow your child to go drinking with her boyfriend's family, and you believe that these are "good parents" even though they are bringing kids fresh out of high school to a pub crawl? Please, set some stricter standards for your daughter. She may be 18 and going to college, but that's not an excuse to condone breaking the law and engaging in reckless behavior. There is a time and place for drinking, and a pub crawl with underage buddies isn't it. Sure, in college alcohol is readily available, and your daughter will probably drink (as will most college students), but a pub crawl with questionable supervision is not the wisest way to get "experience." I would encourage you to go along and supervise her drinking at this pub crawl. If you are so resigned to letting your daughter drink, then at least teach her yourself, and don't leave her at the mercy of other people.</p>
<p>Let the kid go - they're going to be drinking the next week anyway.</p>
<p>I'm assuming the 18 years you had with your child has helped model the behaviors and morals that your child is going to take with them.</p>
<p>At this point they are an adult and will make their own decisions. </p>
<p>Besides, for many of us the legal drinking age when we were in college was 18 or 19 and we did just fine. In fact, college was a GREAT time and many of the best memories involved the people and parties that may have included drinking.</p>
<p>I know there is going to be drinking in college. I think it would hypacritical of me to challenge her on it when I know I drank in college and still drink today. </p>
<p>She's an adult and I better start treating her as one and hope that her good decision making continues as it has.</p>
<p>if your kid still wears clothes you bought for her, or is going to college on money you earned, then she has to follow your rules, or there will be consequences. parents shouldn't be weak. if you find out your daughter is breaking the law or violating your family's standards, then you should punish her. anyone who is not supporting herself is NOT an adult in my book and therefore must answer to her parents. you can't have it both ways.</p>
<p>a pub crawl for families/adults is a whole lot different from pub crawls for 20-somethings. i'd be willing to bet that this pub crawl consists of a lot more than getting drunk- appetizers at different places, samples of drinks for those who want, entertainment, things like that.
you need to directly contact the parents who can fill you in and ease some of your concerns. i tend to doubt that any reasonable parents would bring their underage son to stand outside a bar.</p>
<ul>
<li>drank while in college</li>
<li>had sex before he was married</li>
<li>tried even 1 puff of pot</li>
<li>exceeded the speeding limit</li>
</ul>
<p>Hold up the mirror and ask yourself if you can say that you upheld the same standards you are asking of your child. I highly doubt that it's the case.</p>
<p>huskem, This is how I am picturing the event too. Minors attend weddings, confirmations and other social gatherings, where there is drinking, entertainment, and food. Sure many people have a couple of alcoholic drinks, but not everyone is necessarily drinking.</p>
<p>Well, I guess questions just need to be clarified, if the OP really is still in the deliberation stage.</p>
<p>One difference between the social events listed above and the pub crawl is that weddings, etc, are private and include mostly family and friends. Bar-hopping is totally public including other drunks who may be trying to pick eachother up or are fighting. You just never really know what you'll run into. Also, it might depend on the type of bars on the tour (upscale, neighborhood, college, strip :eek: JK!) I sure would not equate a confirmation party to a pub crawl (well, not usually anyway! :D )</p>
<p>Well, it looks like people are riled up over this issue you raised but a lot of it's because it's unclear exactly what this 'pub crawl' with underage people is really all about. Did you ever get it clarified (alcohol for the kids or not - what they'll really do in the crawl)?</p>
<p>This idea that the mom has to accompany her college aged child baffles me to an extent. Parents are not going to be accompanying their children while at college. My kids were not allowed to drink in high school and I feel 99.999999% sure they never did. They were not in unsupervised situations (ie., could not attend parties where there was no adult present, and I knew where they were at all times). However, now they go to college, just like the OP's D will be doing two days after this event. I also went to college. True, back in my day, 18 was the legal drinking age. However, I would have my head in the sand to not believe that drinking or going to pubs, etc. is part of college life. Frankly, it doesn't bother me to have my kids involved in such activities now in college. It is not only part of college life but they can do what they want as I am not supervising their every move. I am not accompanying them to each thing they go to. I am not even aware of their plans for each evening, etc. They are now on their own and have to make decisions. My kids do have drinks in college and have indeed been to pubs. However, they are not they type to want to get drunk and are not into heavy partying constantly. Both are heavily engaged in both academics and extracurriculars in college including things like varsity sports and theater productions. They don't have time to get drunk, nor wish to. But I am not upset if they have drinks in college because it is unrealistic to think college kids are not going to have some drinks. I did at their age. Yes, they are not of legal drinking age. But the thing is, I am not going to accompany them to everything so they are now on their own to make decisions. I hopefully have brought them up to make good judgments and so far, I think they have. For me, they entered a new stage of life once college began. They are independent and I no longer call every shot or move they make. I certainly don't accompany them to everything. If the OP's D had asked to do this while in HS, it would be different to me than now that she is in college. She could have been AT college and have gone on an excursion with boyfriend's family too. The level of "permission giving" I make with college aged kids is different than the tight rein I held while in HS. It would be naive of me to say to a college kid....you can't go off with this boy overnight or you can't go where there will be some adults being served, etc. when I know she can do all that and more while I am not with her at college. While they were living at home and in high school, DIFFERENT story. And under my roof, different story. So, the OP can accompany her D if she wishes to this event but two days later, the D can be at a simlar event and I can't imagine mom showing up to accompany her and/or stop her from attending. </p>
<p>Still, in this situation, I have suggested that the OP find out from the parents of the BF about what this event entails and what those parents envision the underage kids to be doing since they can't be served. It truly may be a family sort of gathering aimed at families and not just those over 21. Certainly kids attend other social functions or festivals where the adults are drinking but the underage ones are not.</p>
<p>My suggestion that she accompany her kid is that the mom was invited to this "social" event, and it would be a good opportunity for the mom to see exactly what kind of family her D's boyfriend comes from.</p>