<p>I like this advice: Go along. "Best case it is a nice family tradition and you will have a chance to meet bf's charming family. Worse case, they have different values than you and are a drunken bunch of yahoos." </p>
<p>I don't want to shock anyone here, but I bring my kids to an Irish Pub every Sunday evening. My 15 year old daughter is in a traditional band and has a standing gig at a terrific place known for gourmet food, cold pints, and great music & sessions. She makes more $$$ than most teens & has a ball. My young son brings his Nintendo or draws after hubby & I enjoy a great meal, a Guiness & a black & tan, and some great craic. We socialize with other parents of the young musicians and look forward to the evenings. Pubs can be very family-focused. Lots of toddlers and little ones get up and dance, football teams celebrating, and a general good time is had by all. </p>
<p>Really, the pub culture isn't a sad or sordid one. Out of maybe 200 patrons on a typical Sunday night, maybe one has imbibed a bit too much. I highly doubt this family is a gang of drunken sods. But wouldn't it be good to socialize with them & size them up? It sounds like fun.</p>
<p>The reason that I think OP should go along is that she was invited, and obviously the plan is to include many older family members. Supervision is a side-benefit, but this is the last weekend before her d. leaves for college and (we assume) and (assuming that d has a serious relationship with bf) this is also a good opportunity to get to know the bf's family a lot better, as well as to spend time that last weekend with her daughter. Given that bf's family fits in the category of potential future in-laws, it is probably a good idea for the mom to take them up on social invitations.... even if it turns out that they are not her kind of people, in terms of their interests and activities. </p>
<p>And she should go with an open mind -- not with a preconceived idea that she isn't going to like the pub crawl -- because you never know. It may be that this is a family with a very different idea of "fun", but it might also be that their world is kind of interesting... and fun. </p>
<p>A reminder, from the opening post:
[quote]
his boy is very nice. He does not normally drink at least that is what he tells us, we trust him,they have been going together about a year and a half now and I have met his family a few times, they seem like good parents and I get along fine with them.</p>
<p>I know my d has tried drinking w/ friends before( grad parties and such.....I was not thrilled about hearing about this but I do realize it goes on ....</p>
<p>My D and I talked about the fact that when I was her age it was legal to drink at 18 and how I did have alcoholic drinks at parties the summer of high school graduation and at college too when I was 18.
[/quote]
So despite all the moralizing going on right now, the OP (luliztee) is not some straight-laced, authoritarian parent who is going to freak out at the notion that her d. might get served a beer along the way. While the OP does not want to see her d. become a lush, she knows that d. drinks socially and will continue to do so at college.</p>
<p>just because you set extremely high standards for your kids doesn't mean you don't expect them to break rules once in a while. give them freedom so they can become mature, but don't not set limits.</p>
<p>calmom, there is quite a bit of moralizing going on in this thread! I'm willing to bet that boyfriend's mom won't be face down in the street after doing too many jello shots. </p>
<p>I wish I were invited. I'd be there with bells on.</p>
<p>Nobody is knocking pub culture - really, it is just a restaurant with better beer, right? What is problematic is the idea of going pub to pub with a drink in each one, which is what a pub crawl is.</p>
<p>From the posts, it seems we all want more information on the event so that we can either
1) join the pub crawl or 2) post indignation at bf's family</p>
<p>What a strange thread (I'm another who wondered 'what the heck is a pub crawl?'). They may be a nice family, but what a strange thing to invite their son's non-drinking-age girlfriend to! As someone who has dealt for years with a family of heavy-drinking in-laws, just the idea of it makes me think twice.</p>
<p>If the OP is still at all uncomfortable, she should discuss it in earnest once more with her daughter. It's esp. unfortunate that it happens to be her last weekend at home before college...</p>
<p>Just came home from a short vacation yesterday, and i just sat down tonight to read my mail. Sounds like I started a controversial thread. Did not mean to, I too thought it was a strange invitation when I heard about it from my D too.</p>
<p>Ok so I will fill in the details on this "pub crawl" invite.</p>
<p>The town is a small, real small ...beach town. It consisits of about 4-5 bars which are also restaurants and open onto streets/sidewalks w/ cafe dining. There is a parade and dancing in streets and entertainment( kind of like a festival or large townwide block party) Families bring all ages.</p>
<p>driving: There are no cars on the island. Bikes and walking in town only. Boogie boards, wagons,etc. in tow.No real roads just paths ( Everything there is within walking distance,town consists of post office, grocer a few clothing/novlety shops,ice cream parlor etc and lots of boats and ferry.Family has a house in walking distance of town.</p>
<p>Perhaps this info will help you decide pro or con........but i have already decided.....your comments are interesting food for thought tho and some are amusing.</p>
<p>Thanks</p>
<p>BTW I am getting butterflies about my D going to college soon. Only another month now! I find myself happy and a bit emotional too at times.</p>
<p>She has been buying things for her dorm and I watch the pile of things to be transported piling up in my basement. Her sisters are already planning what they will do when she leaves and her room will be empty....giving them thier own rooms finally! ( Although we are leaving her wardrobe and bed in the room for when she comes home.) Can't believe how fast the summer is going! I believe her school will be sending rooming info the beginning of Aug. She will find out her room # and her roomate's name and info. Hope they hit it off or are at least able to be compatible. It's all exciting, I feel so happy and proud and a little anxious for her.</p>
<p>Anyone else sending thier first one off to college soon?</p>
<p>Hope you enjoyed your R&R. I am glad to see that the pub crawl is not going to involve cars. Hope you and your D enjoy it! I assume you are still letting her go, and you are still going too.</p>
<p>Yes, our oldest is leaving for school next month. The summer has been going by very quickly. We have done most of our shopping, and some things are already in storage near his school. We were able to drop some things off when he attended an orientation a few weeks ago. His school has a one day orientation, and then a 5 day orientation which takes place the last week in August.</p>
<p>My d goes for a 3 day pre-orientation end of Aug follwed by five day regular orientation before classes begin on the day after Labor Day.</p>
<p>After all that worrying if I had made the right decision to give my blessing to the pub crawl....now my D tells me she's not sure if she even is going to go........she mostly wanted to see what i would say about it.....lol. You gotta love them. But yes, if she wants to go then I will go too. And I think we will have fun.</p>
<p>Good luck to your son and I wish all of you safe travels and a nice day when you bring him to school. </p>
<p>I will probally have last minute questions as it gets closer(packing,what to bring or misc stuff)so if you would like to exchange notes or have questions too you can always pm me.</p>
<p>A four-five bar/restaurant town with no cars sounds like a fun place to have a pub crawl, if you want to call it that. Sounds more like visiting. It's a far cry from the Lancaster Ave. pub crawl, for sure.</p>
<p>"Good luck to your son and I wish all of you safe travels and a nice day when you bring him to school. </p>
<p>I will probally have last minute questions as it gets closer(packing,what to bring or misc stuff)so if you would like to exchange notes or have questions too you can always pm me."</p>
<p>I wish you and your D the same! I would be happy to exchange notes/questions and you can send a pm to me too.</p>
<p>Funny how she may not go to the crawl, but not necessarily surprising.</p>
<p>luliztee,
The beach town sounds very tame, lots different than the French Quarter of Montreal. I'd let my daughter go to an event like you describe :) . It sounds like a lot of fun! Still, the last weekend at home may be a little hard to give up for a new freshman.</p>
<p>I just came back from Maine and drove through New England.
We passed through a college campus in Easton MA called Stone Hill College. A small but fine Catholic Liberal Arts College ( I'm keeping my eye out for colleges for my son now, who will be a hs jr this year. I like to preview possible colleges that are on route while I'm on a vacation (if I can fit in the time). I remembered reading about Stone Hill when my D was first looking and it sounded like one she may have added to her list but never did. Also saw Bowdoin, for the heck of it,even though the admission stats there will be too steep for him to apply(unless he blows us away with a 1400+ SAT and raises his gpa this year)We did a quick drive through@ Bowdoin ...looks like wonderful music programs among others and large campus larger than I thought it would be.</p>
<p>When we saw Stone Hill College in MA, it was about 6:30 so the offices were closed but we drove through campus and it really looked like a nice campus. Construction taking place but very nice campus complete w/ pond,bridge, woods, coligiate-looking brick and ivy buildings, beautiful lawns and landscaping and fine facilities ( at least from a car view)I thought I would mention it if anyone was looking at lesser known LACs. We picked up literarture offered inside a glass box on the admissions steps. looks like avg SAT scores are mid to high 1200s for admission. The surrounding town did not look like much but had your typical applebees and chain stores. But we did not see the whole area just the road to and from the highway.</p>
<p>I'm not sure if he will want to go to MA but I will mention it to him if he wants to look into it.</p>
<p>Can anyone share what they know personally about Stone Hill and Easton MA? Now I am curious to know more about it.
Thanks</p>
<p>Luliztee, well, I'm glad you are back to fill us in (and glad you had some R and R). I don't feel as naive or stupid as I did on page one. While I had never heard of a pub crawl before, when I read your initial post, I envisioned pretty much what you are now saying this is.... a festival of sorts in a small resort community where adults will be drinking but people of all ages, including kids are in attendance and it goes beyond inside bars, etc. In this regard, we have festivals or celebrations of that sort in our resort community (where we live full time) and I have no problem with my kids going. They cannot buy alcohol but there is a sense of community gathering, music, celebrating, etc. It is funny, however, that your D may not even go now. Sometimes teens can make a big stink (not that your D really did that) or dig in their heels but once they are allowed to do whatever it is, or once time passes, it is not the big deal they once thought it was! LOL The reason I would go along would have been because it was my D's last weekend home.</p>