Hi! First time posting, but I really need some advice. I really love my parents, but they are extremely overprotective and can be very clingy. I’ve been at college for 2 months, this is my freshman year, and all of a sudden, I realized that they are going to be in town 3 weekends in a row, all of which are home football games, and one of which is Halloween weekend. They have already started making plans to see me all the time. They already call me at least 2-3 times a week, sometimes more, and we spend an hour on the phone each of those times. After those three weekends its fall break and they are taking me out of town after two days, I won’t even get to see any of my friends from home. I felt kind of suffocated in high school and was really looking forward to getting some space in college, but whenever I try to talk to them about this they make me feel guilty. Could really use some advice.
Do they have season tickets for the games? I ask because my parents were alums of my university and came to town every weekend when there was a home game. I was happy to tailgate with them (usually brought a friend), then get a good dinner out after the game.
I think you need to establish some boundaries with them. If they say they are coming to town, say that you have time X (say Saturday dinner) available, but have to study/are going to the game with friends/etc for the rest of the day. Regarding calls, suggest a weekly call (Sunday), and maybe just text during the week unless there is a real need to talk (e.g. problen with tuition bill or something). Be sure they know you are looking forward to seeing friends over Thanksgiving break so they are ready when you want to go out over the weekend.
At least it sounds they tell you when they are coming ahead of time. Could be worse, they could just come knocking on your door.
Cut them some slack. They miss you and love you. Your life would be a lot less happy if they didn’t.
It does sound stressful.
You got some good suggestions ^
You felt suffocated in high school – and now, you really do have some space. Not as much as you want, but definitely you are on your way. Try to keep a long term perspective. It is a big adjustment for them as well as you. It’s your first year and they are still getting used to your being away. Over time they will probably loosen up.
Can you try weekly phone calls and only text during the week?