I’m back at home for part of the summer (my college is only a few hours away from my hometown), and my parents and I have already begun to butt heads. We have always been close, especially since I’m an only child (I should also mention that I’m a girl in a Latino household). I try calling them at least once a day while I’m away, and we tend to get along fine. However, when I come home, it’s like I’m back in high school in relation to dating. They never have a problem with me going out, as long as I text them I’m fine and come home at a reasonable hour. But with my boyfriend (who attends the same college as me), they’ve always been a bit stricter. My boyfriend is leaving to visit his sister today in another state for the rest of the week, and I just wanted to spend some time with him before he leaves. I had just spent yesterday with him, but it’s summer, and I have no obligations other than a job I’ll be starting on Monday. Another issue is that when I’m home, my parents like me to ask if I can go somewhere or do something “as a courtesy”, and that of course they’ll say yes. Yet, my parents said no at first because I already spend so much time with him (they also mentioned that a few days won’t kill me), and then finally agreed under the conditions that one of them has to be home. I live in an apartment on-campus, and they are completely aware that he goes over, etc. I don’t understand how this is inappropriate, but I know that this might just be something I have to deal with while I’m home.
I’m also 20 years-old already, and have my school completely paid for through scholarships and my GPA. I don’t go out much either. The issue always just seems to be centered my boyfriend, who they both really like.
Well, it’s their house so their rules. Be respectful - it doesn’t sound like they are really all that bad, but I understand what it’s like to get a taste of freedom and then be subject to rules again. Maybe get a job and stay at school next summer.
I think it is just something you will have to deal with but it will be over soon! In no time at all, you will be living on your own. Personally, I think it makes sense to simply be respectful and bide your time. They love you and although this sounds hokey, one day you may look back fondly on the last months when your parents could “baby” you a bit.
They don’t want you to get pregnant. They probably don’t want you so deeply involved with him that it affects your grades in the fall. Maybe they think he isn’t good enough for you.
And… they’ve been eagerly awaiting your return home to spend time with them. Now it feels like you ate ditching them for someone you saw all the time at school anyway. They could be a little jealous.
Bottom line. They love you and want you to hang around with them. It sure beats the opposite situation.
Do your parents pay for your college? If so, you gotta suck it up lol
I’m an only child, too, so I relate to being close (especially while away at college — distance helps!) and then butting heads during summer/winter breaks. It always did feel like a regression back to high school when I would come home in terms of rules/expectations, but that’s partially because that’s still how they see you: as their child, under their roof. They weren’t with you at college to see you experience freedom and independence, and I think it’s sometimes easy for parents to forget their college kids are used to independence and it’s easy for students to forget that their parents are used to rules.
Be courteous to them; let them know when you’re going out and when you’ll be back. Soon you’ll be spending your summers apart from them and you might actually miss their overprotective eyes looking out for you!
Maybe spend some time with them and include your boyfriend. If they get to know him better things might not feel so strained.
Your parents are right. They want the best for you. Based on your post in this thread, you are gracious, courteous & respectful. Not bad parenting from my viewpoint.
My guess as a parent would be they just want to see more of you, and this is perfectly understandable.