<p>I've been shy during my high school years, but this might have spawn because parents dubbed me as shy when I was young. Not sure, but I'm just afraid to approach people, and hard to initiate/continue a conversation. Any thing to overcome this?</p>
<p>RELAX !! I was shy my freshman year of high school. and now im a senior and able to talk to anyone. I wasnt able to talk to people b/c i wasnt able to breathe, I'd practically hyperventilate. Also, talk about stuff that is common to you and him/her. Talk about things such as latest movies or movies in general...tv...stuff going on in the world...school stuff...</p>
<p>Just relax, approach the person or people... relax... and just start a conversation about anything... dont worry about embarrasing yourself... thats it for now... i might think up some stuff later...</p>
<p>=] Just smile. Approach a person. And just be yourself. ^^ Just go up to a person and say "Hey wuz up?!" =P That's what I've been doing. It seems to work. ^^</p>
<p>I found it a lot easier to initiate conversations when I first got to college. Everyone was pretty much alone when they got there, and we all had grand times talking about our high schools, stats, and the orientation activities. I found small groups to be best, and cafeterias are always great too. If you're alone when you go to the cafeteria and see someone eating alone, just walk up and ask if you can sit with them. You don't have to initiate the conversation then really, other than maybe asking their name or major (those are really good conversation starters, along with where they're from and why they're going into their field). Sometimes they'll ignore you, but sometimes they'll talk to you and become a good friend.</p>
<p>Don't be afraid to just tag along with groups of people, eventually you'll get comfortable enough to speak up. I did a lot of tagging along with various people, and although I didn't end up being good friends with them later, I got to be good friends with their roommates or other people hanging out quietly in the group.</p>
<p>Good luck with it all, and just have fun!</p>
<p>check your pm:O)</p>
<p>I know what you mean I was a loner for my four years of high school and Im hoping to turn it around in college.</p>
<p>Anything else?</p>
<p>Ummm I wrote alot about this in another thread. <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=53132%5B/url%5D">http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=53132</a>. There is plenty of ways. But confidence is the first thing. Because even if you want to, if you don't have the confidence to go up to randoms or whoever and talk, you won't be able to do it. So actually in order to overcome shyness. Thinking that you need to be more talkative and/or outgoing is the first way your doing it wrong. Yeah that helps but if you don't increase your confidence first. It won't happen. Does it seem only a coincidence that the outgoing socialite you know also have the confidence you want? They go hand-in-hand.</p>
<p>anyone else went from a loner in high school to having a social life in college?</p>
<p>nah...still a loner...college...maybe change personality a bit...</p>
<p>I am a loner too -- I moved to US in the middle of high school and could not get adjusted -- hope college is easier.<br>
Is it easier to be a loner in college?</p>
<p>PRACTICE ---</p>
<p>just talk to everybody -- start conversations with cab drivers, hair cutters, anything. make eye contact. </p>
<p>pretending you are someone ultra-confident (ie. brad pitt or something) helps some people.</p>
<p>Part of this has to do with gaining some basic social skills. A good primer on learning how to make conversation is available here:</p>
<p><a href="http://getschooled.com/guides/2/%5B/url%5D">http://getschooled.com/guides/2/</a></p>
<p>Another one, that would probably be an encouraging read for your situation is:</p>
<p><a href="http://getschooled.com/guides/5/%5B/url%5D">http://getschooled.com/guides/5/</a></p>
<p>I find it easier to talk to strangers/new friends when I'm wearing sunglasses.</p>
<p>Compliment people, say hey cool shoes, or where did you get that bag? Most people will smile and say thank you. The more you do it, the easier it is, and the easier it will be to talk to other people about other things.</p>
<p>Also, be a good listener. If you are nervous talking, ask questions...will work wonders</p>
<p>if you live in a dorm - keep your door open.. people WILL say hi. talk to them. if someone talks to you in class, talk to them. you don't necessarily have to start conversations with people. i was always a pretty quiet person, but by the time i graduated college i knew/was friends with hundreds of people around campus. everyone knew me... cause you meet one person, you hang out with them, then you meet their friends, etc.</p>
<p>Join, join, join ... Think of the three things you're most expert at and of which you're most confident in your knowledge, learn even more, and then join groups of peers that deal with them. Just a theory, but I think the confidence and assertiveness you'll gain will spread to other situations.</p>
<p>unlimitedx....haha, sunglasses... Like in Big Daddy where Adam Sandler gives "Frankenstein" (the kid) the sunglasses that make him invisible? </p>
<p>Everything that everybody is saying is true...Join clubs that you're interested in and talk to anybody you're interested in (because most likely they probably want someone to come up and talk to them). Don't try and act cool, basically don't ACT at all. As for making first impressions, it may be hard to "just be yourself" in many circumstances, but all you have to do is act interested in other people by asking a few questions (not a bombardment of questions) about them, and they in turn will be interested in you if you come off well.</p>
<p>Once you have classes with certain people, and see those people around campus, and start to see the same people in your dorm all the time, you will have no problems talking to people. College students are some of the most laid back people on the face of the earth</p>
<p>I have this same problem. Unless I'm around my friends, whatever I say always comes out in a soft, timid way (and damnit, I hate to admit it, but it's almost effeminate.. really ****es me off). I just hate attention--I shun it. And it's to such an extent that I even avoid doing anything kind or benevolent to get away from it. Okay, take this example: Yesterday I was at the checkout with about ten items, and the guy behind me had one. I really, really wanted to let him go ahead of me, but I couldn't for the life of me breath something out. I don't know why. It sucks.</p>
<p>Facebook is a good way to break the ice with someone you know but not very well. Just add them as a friend. Suddenly you'll feel more comfortable with them in real life.</p>